If English is your first language you should just give up. If not find someone to proofread for you. There's hardly a single sentence in this story that doesn't have at least one mistake. I'm not a stickler for perfection but this many mistakes makes the story too hard to read for it to be interesting.
Bad editing or some copy / pasting from another story but Sandy / Joanne / Hikari seem to become interchangeable which made getting to grips with the characters a little confusing. Nice story though
by
Anonymous05/28/12
Lovely
Excellent story
editing was a bit messy but it did not spoil my enjoyment of the story
lucky girls indeed.
by
Anonymous09/28/14
A constructive criticism - I hope!
It would appear that English is not your first language.
It will improve your stories if you first type them out as Word documents, run them though the Spellchecker and then copy and paste them into Literotica.
This is the only downside to an otherwise very good story.
English
Laughably bad
If English is your first language you should just give up. If not find someone to proofread for you. There's hardly a single sentence in this story that doesn't have at least one mistake. I'm not a stickler for perfection but this many mistakes makes the story too hard to read for it to be interesting.
who's Sandy?
Bad editing or some copy / pasting from another story but Sandy / Joanne / Hikari seem to become interchangeable which made getting to grips with the characters a little confusing. Nice story though
Lovely
Excellent story
editing was a bit messy but it did not spoil my enjoyment of the story
lucky girls indeed.
A constructive criticism - I hope!
It would appear that English is not your first language.
It will improve your stories if you first type them out as Word documents, run them though the Spellchecker and then copy and paste them into Literotica.
This is the only downside to an otherwise very good story.
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