Janice and her parents all knew exactly the type of lifestyle they were trying to trap him into and none of them were honest enough to have an open discussion about it. Further, Janice was already acting out her faithless lifestyle and she "didn't think he would mind". Truly brain dead woman here. I guess the weak part of the plot is that wedding vows are not really that binding except to the people who speak them. If she had ulterior motives when she made her vows that is fraud. Most people who are victims of fraud are let out of their side of a contract. Tricking someone into something is not binding. It's great that he caught on as he did and he was a wonderfully strong character to stop the wedding in mid stride and then to leave her. You even get in the obligatory pounding of his useless friend Jeff. It's a interesting view into the world of Janice and her parents thinking they can maneuver him into this wedding.
and have thought about it since. I don't know that I ever thought much about the vows I took 41 years ago. They were the traditional and while swapping was just coming into the open (been around for a long as there's been marriage) it never crossed my mind to take part.
I married very young, still a teen and we had to spend a lot of time apart. Was I tempted, sure, but it was many years before I understood that folks need to live by a set of values... morals or life really doesn't amount to much. Frankly, it doesn't matter much what those values are, as long as they're legal, but crossing your own line will hurt you. I know, I have and even though I enjoyed my time across my line... on balance I know I would be happier now if I never did.
Personally it seems impossible that people should decide to write their own vows and then not discuss them with their future partner. That was a red flag for me. When her father said what he did that was another eye-opener because it tells you a bit about how she was raised... I hope that he used condoms..
My opinion of "Flash" stories has always been that the writer is not creative enough (or is just too lazy) to write a complete story. This was a well written and complete story so I'm not sure it qualifies for any of that "Flash" bull shit, which to my way of thinking is a good thing, a very good thing.
But I wonder why they didn't talk over their vows before marriage or for that matter what each other wanted in a relationship?
That part was dumb. But if it was there you wouldn't have a story.
Flash/short stories are not easy to write. You should have a good pace from start to finish with a good plotline. This was a good story and a "complete" story. Few errors here and there that could've been sorted out by a proof readers or editor, but all in all — good job.
~Kelly~
by
Anonymous05/25/10
Been a while
It's been a while since I've seen one of your stories. This was short and to the point. And it was worth the wait, thank you.
Something a little different. Ever understand why a woman thinks it's o.k. for her to cheat but doesn't think the husband should??? Thanks for posting.
I thought fidelity was something most couples discuss early on.
It seems kind of backwards to me to get engaged without discussing such things as fidelity, acceptable behavior, and children. He's lucky he found out before going through with it.
While it is true Janice and her "parents" did NOT come clean about their lifestyle I am not sure that they did this with INTENTION to decieve.
That being said it is clear that they where NOT telling the truth by lack of Omission.
But what hurts this story is that the husband to be after find out all this info about Janice... her family and their values ...NEVER bothers to ask about the Wedding vows.
From this guy's point of view janice and her family were pretty "out there". If this is such a big deal for him at the wedding then it makes no sense that it would NOT be a big deal before the day of the wedding.
Nearly-clueless guy who only read/listened to the "fine print" at the last moment. And she cuckolded him with his "best friend" of all things. Of course this sort of thing happens -- just watch a few episodes of Cheaters to see it for real -- but one still has to wonder why he let this go. I guess thinking with the wrong head most of the time . . .
by
Anonymous05/26/10
A real disappointment
This story was a shock. If the author's name were not attached, I would never have believed it was written by one of the finer "cheating wives" authors I've read at the site. This is well below his usual standards.
by
Anonymous06/01/10
listener
He listened to what she said and found out before the consequences were too great. The spelling was noted, and door and my included.
He should have been arrested, jailed, and facing a lawsuit for attacking his friend. There is no justification for that and being put on probation and paying $50,000 for damages would teach him a little self-control.
I do like that he was not willing to be a cuckolded wimp.
by
Anonymous06/10/11
Yes
Very much enjoyed it. I can understand that she saw her parents relationship and wanted the same, but to mislead and con him? He rocks! If both are open and honest about what they want, go for it, but she and her family can suck it!
That first comment from dnorack or whatever is frickin lame except the last line. This clown whining about him wasting Jeff is a prime example of the lame liberal thinking that has drug this country down. WAH! that reader needs to grow a pair before commenting again!
Of course there is a justification for violence. At his wedding he finds out his bride to be has slept with his best friend. He has very good reasons to be angry. But he is walking away, not looking for trouble. His very stupid friend tracks him down and confronts him. Most confrontations like this, without a repeated pattern of violence, are treated by judges as an annoyance. The judge would question his friends reasons for tracking him down, essentially "jumping in front of a speeding car". Given the circumstances the judge would figure the guy deserved to get punched out, even if it is not legal. The law lacks a resolution for infidelity but this was justice. In the end, at worst they both would probably end up with small fines and a stern talking to. DWornock is shockingly naive.
If they dragged everyone who punched someone in the nose through the court system, there would be no time for any other cases. Besides, how would the police learn of this? The ex-friend would have to file a complaint. Then he would have to go to court and it would all come out. Would any of you readers like it if you had to admit in court that you slept with your best friends fiancée before the wedding? I think not.
Dialogue, in my opinion, is most important. A properly written dialogue goes a long way to forming the story's essence, or the "sense of it". Also, it allows the reader to gain a better understanding of the characters. The way the vow was written and interpreted is the twist. And it's a good one. But, as some have pointed out, proper grammar is essential in conveying nuances effectively.
For a flash story, it's not bad. I think you'd have done better to have fleshed it out a bit more, but then again, that carries no more weight than my opinion.
As for HIV, it was definitely deception. Omission is part of the deceit. In deceiving someone the intent is to cause misrepresentation, either by omission of facts or outright lies. It can be argued that the bride-to-be was operating under assumption, but again, since the groom was never made aware of the facts prior to the vows being read, yet took action afterwards, that pretty much invalidates that argument.
what the guy needed to do with post a few notices in the paper to warn prospective husbands that she wanted to still fuck around and he could stay at home with her bastards.
cute story
your hidden agenda is that illiterate nonces like yourself reduce the story quality to the point your feeble brains can understand. quit fucking your relatives and get a GED.
but you mom keeps calling me daddy. I know your father wasn't happy with that but your sister could keep him happy because she was licking my balls as I was fucking your mom. Sorry Anon
There are no ASSumptions too small to ignore in planning to live your life with someone, the simple question "Are we exclusive?" is not a small one.
Then you have to watch to see that the behavior supports the answers - that is how you build trust - not by ASSuming you both define things the same way.
Really nice - short simple direct - and a good ending..
by
Anonymous10/16/12
some people are unreal
she was a fucking slut and fool to think she could slide that by a man.
women like that are fucking worthless and deserve to be sold as trash.
Your values are who you are. If you compromise them you will regret it for the rest of your life. If you are an average normal person, you do not need to change for a freak. Shun the freaks, and leave them to their own perverse devices.
He discovered his slut's er girlfriend's idea of marriage before he actually married her. As for the best friend, he's lucky to still be chewing food normally. Good tale.
"C" Communication is the keyword for any relationship and this story effectively proves that point.
Why get married if you want to play the field. It is hard to believe but it is this author's story. Of course there are alternative lifestyles but the couple must agree with eachother on their terms. This couple almost married for varying degrees of commitment. Their definitions of marriage were quite different. Her acknowledged infidelity should have been discussed prior to their meeting in church. Not disclosing the fiancée's personalized vows ahead of time was a major oversight. There were a lot Dippy characters in this story but it still worked for me.
by
Anonymous02/04/14
Heh
A commenter asks, why get married if you still want to play the field? Simple....it's someone looking for security, someone to manipulate for their own benefit without giving fuck-all to the benefit of the other. It's someone looking for a very one sided relationship where they get everything they want and the other gets the scraps (if that much.) A relationship without trust, honor or dignity, intended to fail, and intended to hurt one person very badly at the expense of another. I imagine it takes a special kind of cunt/bastard to engineer such a thing, but hell, just reading around this website we can see more than a few of those!
Rather than sneaking out of the study, I would have gone back to the altar, punched Jeff's lights out, and told everyone exactly why the wedding was off!
English
Deceit as basis for marriage
Janice and her parents all knew exactly the type of lifestyle they were trying to trap him into and none of them were honest enough to have an open discussion about it. Further, Janice was already acting out her faithless lifestyle and she "didn't think he would mind". Truly brain dead woman here. I guess the weak part of the plot is that wedding vows are not really that binding except to the people who speak them. If she had ulterior motives when she made her vows that is fraud. Most people who are victims of fraud are let out of their side of a contract. Tricking someone into something is not binding. It's great that he caught on as he did and he was a wonderfully strong character to stop the wedding in mid stride and then to leave her. You even get in the obligatory pounding of his useless friend Jeff. It's a interesting view into the world of Janice and her parents thinking they can maneuver him into this wedding.
Read this on a different site...
and have thought about it since. I don't know that I ever thought much about the vows I took 41 years ago. They were the traditional and while swapping was just coming into the open (been around for a long as there's been marriage) it never crossed my mind to take part.
I married very young, still a teen and we had to spend a lot of time apart. Was I tempted, sure, but it was many years before I understood that folks need to live by a set of values... morals or life really doesn't amount to much. Frankly, it doesn't matter much what those values are, as long as they're legal, but crossing your own line will hurt you. I know, I have and even though I enjoyed my time across my line... on balance I know I would be happier now if I never did.
Nice story Agena. Thanks for writing.
Very Interesting Story
Personally it seems impossible that people should decide to write their own vows and then not discuss them with their future partner. That was a red flag for me. When her father said what he did that was another eye-opener because it tells you a bit about how she was raised... I hope that he used condoms..
A well written and fast moving story
Nice story that seems real to me . Thanks
It didn't feel "Flash" at all.
My opinion of "Flash" stories has always been that the writer is not creative enough (or is just too lazy) to write a complete story. This was a well written and complete story so I'm not sure it qualifies for any of that "Flash" bull shit, which to my way of thinking is a good thing, a very good thing.
Well done. I really enjoyed your story.
Also did not read like a flash story. For me it was complete.
a story
a story about a bunch of retarded people told by an idiot.
I liked it
But I wonder why they didn't talk over their vows before marriage or for that matter what each other wanted in a relationship?
That part was dumb. But if it was there you wouldn't have a story.
Thanks for writing!
Are you finished?
How about taking the time to at lease once reread what you have written. The multiple typos detracted from the story.
Good story.
Flash/short stories are not easy to write. You should have a good pace from start to finish with a good plotline. This was a good story and a "complete" story. Few errors here and there that could've been sorted out by a proof readers or editor, but all in all — good job.
~Kelly~
Been a while
It's been a while since I've seen one of your stories. This was short and to the point. And it was worth the wait, thank you.
That was pretty good
I enjoyed reading it.
Nice Flash
Something a little different. Ever understand why a woman thinks it's o.k. for her to cheat but doesn't think the husband should??? Thanks for posting.
I thought fidelity was something most couples discuss early on.
It seems kind of backwards to me to get engaged without discussing such things as fidelity, acceptable behavior, and children. He's lucky he found out before going through with it.
To be flash it would start at the ceremony....
....and end there.Nice short though!
um.... NO...
While it is true Janice and her "parents" did NOT come clean about their lifestyle I am not sure that they did this with INTENTION to decieve.
That being said it is clear that they where NOT telling the truth by lack of Omission.
But what hurts this story is that the husband to be after find out all this info about Janice... her family and their values ...NEVER bothers to ask about the Wedding vows.
From this guy's point of view janice and her family were pretty "out there". If this is such a big deal for him at the wedding then it makes no sense that it would NOT be a big deal before the day of the wedding.
At least he was not a wimp . . .
Nearly-clueless guy who only read/listened to the "fine print" at the last moment. And she cuckolded him with his "best friend" of all things. Of course this sort of thing happens -- just watch a few episodes of Cheaters to see it for real -- but one still has to wonder why he let this go. I guess thinking with the wrong head most of the time . . .
A real disappointment
This story was a shock. If the author's name were not attached, I would never have believed it was written by one of the finer "cheating wives" authors I've read at the site. This is well below his usual standards.
listener
He listened to what she said and found out before the consequences were too great. The spelling was noted, and door and my included.
An outstanding short story.
This may be your best story yet. I hate wimps and willing cuckolds. I'm so glad your protagonist had some balls.
A MAN WITH BALLS WAT A STUPID SLUT,NO MAN WILL EXCEPT BEING A CUCKOLD UNLESS THER A WIMP PUFF
A great story
An even better read, along with a smart young man. I wish I could have been that smart before I got married. R.T.
A good story except
He should have been arrested, jailed, and facing a lawsuit for attacking his friend. There is no justification for that and being put on probation and paying $50,000 for damages would teach him a little self-control.
I do like that he was not willing to be a cuckolded wimp.
Yes
Very much enjoyed it. I can understand that she saw her parents relationship and wanted the same, but to mislead and con him? He rocks! If both are open and honest about what they want, go for it, but she and her family can suck it!
That first comment from dnorack or whatever is frickin lame except the last line. This clown whining about him wasting Jeff is a prime example of the lame liberal thinking that has drug this country down. WAH! that reader needs to grow a pair before commenting again!
A BEFORE CEREMONY OPEN LIFESTYLE
I guess the 60s free love got into her DNA GENES. TK U MLJ LV NV
Justification for violence
Of course there is a justification for violence. At his wedding he finds out his bride to be has slept with his best friend. He has very good reasons to be angry. But he is walking away, not looking for trouble. His very stupid friend tracks him down and confronts him. Most confrontations like this, without a repeated pattern of violence, are treated by judges as an annoyance. The judge would question his friends reasons for tracking him down, essentially "jumping in front of a speeding car". Given the circumstances the judge would figure the guy deserved to get punched out, even if it is not legal. The law lacks a resolution for infidelity but this was justice. In the end, at worst they both would probably end up with small fines and a stern talking to. DWornock is shockingly naive.
DWornock is shockingly naive.
If they dragged everyone who punched someone in the nose through the court system, there would be no time for any other cases. Besides, how would the police learn of this? The ex-friend would have to file a complaint. Then he would have to go to court and it would all come out. Would any of you readers like it if you had to admit in court that you slept with your best friends fiancée before the wedding? I think not.
5 stars. There is a Hungarian way of saying Look at your bride's Mom and decide on the marriage.
Liked the story
Get an editor. Errors too numerous to mention. You don't write badly, but you make basic mistakes in punctuation and grammer.
Vowing against the vows
Dialogue, in my opinion, is most important. A properly written dialogue goes a long way to forming the story's essence, or the "sense of it". Also, it allows the reader to gain a better understanding of the characters. The way the vow was written and interpreted is the twist. And it's a good one. But, as some have pointed out, proper grammar is essential in conveying nuances effectively.
For a flash story, it's not bad. I think you'd have done better to have fleshed it out a bit more, but then again, that carries no more weight than my opinion.
As for HIV, it was definitely deception. Omission is part of the deceit. In deceiving someone the intent is to cause misrepresentation, either by omission of facts or outright lies. It can be argued that the bride-to-be was operating under assumption, but again, since the groom was never made aware of the facts prior to the vows being read, yet took action afterwards, that pretty much invalidates that argument.
Learn how to spell
Otherwise I really enjoyed this story
pretty funny
what the guy needed to do with post a few notices in the paper to warn prospective husbands that she wanted to still fuck around and he could stay at home with her bastards.
cute story
gave it a 5 star
finally and agenda story I can deal with.
cantbuymyhuecuck
your hidden agenda is that illiterate nonces like yourself reduce the story quality to the point your feeble brains can understand. quit fucking your relatives and get a GED.
I would quit fucking my relatives
but you mom keeps calling me daddy. I know your father wasn't happy with that but your sister could keep him happy because she was licking my balls as I was fucking your mom. Sorry Anon
That was an amazing story...TY
...bill
Communication is not just a word -
There are no ASSumptions too small to ignore in planning to live your life with someone, the simple question "Are we exclusive?" is not a small one.
Then you have to watch to see that the behavior supports the answers - that is how you build trust - not by ASSuming you both define things the same way.
Really nice - short simple direct - and a good ending..
some people are unreal
she was a fucking slut and fool to think she could slide that by a man.
women like that are fucking worthless and deserve to be sold as trash.
Loved it
My only complaint is that I wish it were longer. Wonderful storyline and wonderfully told.
I think he made a good decision.
She was a slut, just like her mother. He was well rid of her. Thank you for writing this story.
Never compromise your values
Your values are who you are. If you compromise them you will regret it for the rest of your life. If you are an average normal person, you do not need to change for a freak. Shun the freaks, and leave them to their own perverse devices.
i remember this one, it is pretty good.
Lucky Man
He discovered his slut's er girlfriend's idea of marriage before he actually married her. As for the best friend, he's lucky to still be chewing food normally. Good tale.
Super!
My wife and I used the old vows. She even promised to obey; although as it turned out I'm the one who's done all the obeying. I kind of like it.
Thank-you
I enjoyed your story. Too few wives seem to worry about how faithful they remain.
LOL
I put in my favorit collection and naturaly 5*****.
"C" Communication is the keyword for any relationship and this story effectively proves that point.
Why get married if you want to play the field. It is hard to believe but it is this author's story. Of course there are alternative lifestyles but the couple must agree with eachother on their terms. This couple almost married for varying degrees of commitment. Their definitions of marriage were quite different. Her acknowledged infidelity should have been discussed prior to their meeting in church. Not disclosing the fiancée's personalized vows ahead of time was a major oversight. There were a lot Dippy characters in this story but it still worked for me.
Heh
A commenter asks, why get married if you still want to play the field? Simple....it's someone looking for security, someone to manipulate for their own benefit without giving fuck-all to the benefit of the other. It's someone looking for a very one sided relationship where they get everything they want and the other gets the scraps (if that much.) A relationship without trust, honor or dignity, intended to fail, and intended to hurt one person very badly at the expense of another. I imagine it takes a special kind of cunt/bastard to engineer such a thing, but hell, just reading around this website we can see more than a few of those!
Good For Him!
I would have taken it one step further.
Rather than sneaking out of the study, I would have gone back to the altar, punched Jeff's lights out, and told everyone exactly why the wedding was off!
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