All Comments on 'False Memories'

....but I am a very disturbed person.

How could she "suppress" her memories of fucking every guy in a hundred mile radius? Why wouldn't she have fuckedthe landlord? I mean, what the fuck and why are there sirens coming? And if she was leaving Tom for Mr. White, why would she be apologizing and saying how badly they needed the money? This makes as much sense as a submarine with screen doors.

For clarification and future reference:

"How could she "suppress" her memories of fucking every guy in a hundred mile radius?"

Take a peek at the title. It is (rather heavily) implied that White is implanting false memories into her mind.

"Why wouldn't she have fuckedthe landlord?"

The landlord doesn't make the offer -- the two don't think of it as an option until White appears.

"I mean, what the fuck and why are there sirens coming?"

Quoth White: "Ooh, I hope no one's asleep." Someone called the cops because of the gunshot.

"And if she was leaving Tom for Mr. White, why would she be apologizing and saying how badly they needed the money?"

She didn't intend to leave Tom at the beginning, hence why this is filed under mind control.

Asshole. What a crap story.

almost like dream. great story telling!

I thought I was going to thoroughly enjoy the story, but I wasn't a fan of the turn it took. I would have liked it if White had control of them both. Also, it was not made very clear...Did Jean actually do those things, and did he force her to focus on those memories to warp her into someone different, or did he plant those thoughts into her mind somehow? I think the latter is more entertaining. As perceptive as White was, I think it would also be great if he knew Tom would enjoy being cuckolded, and offer to pay rent as long as he felt like having Tom's wife. Jean shouldn't leave Tom, but also enjoy giving herself up to White and denying Tom. Still, great story, and those are just my opinions. Keep writing!

Well clearly this is a cuckold fantasy. I wish that had been made more obvious or explicit earlier on. The sex itself wasn't described well enough to get aroused for, which means the reader either gets off on the husbands humiliation or doesn't get off at all. Setting expectations early on would help with that.

I read this expecting a story centrally focused on mind control. While reading, I found myself thinking that it would be a much stronger and erotic MC story if it were told from the first person perspective using the wife's point of view. The MC overtones would be stronger. She'd be unable to keep herself from speaking and we'd get some her thoughts and feelings of helplessness as well. We'd also get much more of whatever was going on in her head. I imagine she felt a drifting fog in her mind during and after orgasm, and a mounting feeling of confusion which was 'resolved' when Mr White told her what to remember. We'd see her shifting emotions as her feelings changed for her husband. I think it would enhance the sex itself too, as a first person perspective would see more emphasis placed on the physical sensations by its very nature. With the existing third person perspective, the sex feels dry during some parts.

Of course, it would be a different story with a POV change. A first person perspective would take away from the cuckold fantasy as we'd end up seeing a growing disdain for the husband by the end, rather than the husbands confusion and helplessness at being tricked. It all depends on what story you want to tell. The ideas used are quite intriguing, and I'm sure that a few people like myself were drawn in by the MC focused story summary. It's a strong hook, and the story gets a lot from the way the MC is delivered all by itself. But when the story turns out more to focus on the husband's cuckolding, the readers who were looking for good MC may feel like they've been bait and switched. That's likely one of the causes of a low score on an otherwise intriguing idea that was pulled off relatively well. I think the addition of a note at the beggining might do a lot to increase the score, as it would adjust the expectation of the reader. For me, this is a one star effort in terms of erotic content (simply because it focused on erotica that does not really appeal to me) but a three or four star effort in terms of the idea and writing.

I have a personal rule about not voting on things simply because it's not my kink, so I'm refraining from this one. From a technical perspective, I think it's an interesting piece that was delivered decently. Nice job on that. I just wish the category and summary didn't imply something different.

Why would sirens fill the air?