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Essay: My Rape Fantasies

byLynnGKS©
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Comments (30)
by Anonymous

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by KathrynClut06/06/10

Thought provoking.

Very thought provoking essay, I wonder how many women have a rape, reluctance, coercion fantasies, it is something I have never even thought of discussing with my friends so don’t about others. I have the, I suppose reluctance/coercion fantasy but the strong assertive person is another woman who forces me to do things that I wouldn’t normally think are the sort of thing a “good girl” will do. Is that not what the fantasy comes from, the thought that the responsibility for doing really naughty things is with someone else?

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by 06/06/10

This is fantasy

Your essay was nicely written. People who read Literotica must keep in mind that this is a site to read and write about sexual fantasies. Fantasy does not equal reality. Fantasy can lead to arousal while the same situation in reality can lead to mortification.

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by Anonymous06/06/10

It's simple

A 'normal' woman desires sex with a strong male, which necessarily means she is weaker than he. Conversely, a 'normal' male desires sex with a female who is weaker than he. That is nature's design, or God's, whichever you prefer. And it has worked very, very well for a very, very long time. ;)

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by Anonymous06/06/10

And so I became an author...

I agree with your ideas about the importance of words. These are the paints that we use as verbal artists. To paint the most erotic pictures, the colors must be chosen with care. In some cases, driving us to author our own stories just to find that perfect picture. But tell me something... Is there not something especially exciting about finding that story that pushes all your buttons... but has the added element of the unknown, because it was written by someone else?

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by Master_Vyle06/06/10

Another Five All The Way!

I know, I know, I ignored your instructions, but I just could not help it, you write so well, and plus there's that whole strong male vs. weaker female thing, oh and of course all men (well straight and bi men) like to sneak into those places marked ladies only. (Well, unless there are femanine products from the HBC aisle involved.)

Well, anyway I will be serious now.

Another beautiful five star essay Lynn. Once again you look at a subject that throws up a lot of red flags with thoughtfulness and a look through real eyes. In my personal experience I have not only met women with rape fantasies, but have also known women who were victims of rape who still harbor fantasies of being raped or strongly coereced into having sex with someone other than a loving husband or boyfriend.

I would have to say rape fantasies for women are just the same as gay fantasies for men. They are natural and I think everyone has them at least once in their life. The big difference is women are more open and willing to discuss these fantasies than men, just as you have here.

You are most defiantely right, that there is a point that is just right for each person, on almost every subject. Rape is one of those tricky subjects when it comes to being a matter of taste, or if in reality even something that is easy to discuss. As with the women I discussed above, I myself am a survivror of rape and sexual abuse over a long period of time. As with them and others I have to admit that I have a certain morbid fascination with the subject because I still want to understand what was done to me, why and what part of those things made me into the person I am today. I have written a great deal of stories involving rape, although none yet published anywhere. A friend once said to me, you know I know you and you have no problem with women, but someone would read this and think you hate women. My response was that it was a reflection of life, that something like 1 in 5, or 1 in 3 women have been the victims of sexual assualt, and that was why a large precentage of the female leads in that particular story had been the victims of sexual abuse or rape in some form or another.

Is it an act I could commit in life?

The answer would be no. I could never take someone who was not willing.

Is it something I could act out in a scene with someone?

Yes and no. My first wife had a strong rape fantasy where she wanted to be taken and totally forced. I just could not bring myself to do it, and to even half-heartedly do the scene made me feel sick and disgusted with myself.

As to having a scene of stronger coercion where the entire act has been discussed to include many scenarios, although the "victim" may not be aware of exactly when the scene is going to play out, is much more preferable. I think such scenes not only appeal to the woman having the fantasy, but also to my need to once in a while be just a little more agressive and dominant than usual.

My sole contribution to the relectance category is Amiee Is EEEE-Z, which is more of a revenge story. The titular Amiee tells her ex-husband to hold her wrists so that in case her current husbnad should walk in on them she could claim that he was raping her. This makes her ex wonder if that was the same cover story she had used with other lovers when they had been married in case he would have caught her with them. Amiee was willing to let her former husband "rape" her as long as they were not caught, she is reluctant but puts up little resistance.

Sorry, looks like I'm wrting my own essay here. However, my main point is that, once again, Lynn has written an essay that should be thought provoking to the educated reader. Again she is right on the money, and I can not wait to see what she will write about next.

Thank you again for another wonderful essay.

-Master Vyle

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by Anonymous06/06/10

master vyle is a fucking crackpot

ever read his shit.?.. Lynn the fact that a ignornat twisted fuck turd like master vyle thinks you are great should scare you no end...

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by Harryin VA06/06/10

KEY point in your essay... proved that you are full of shit Lynn

sorry but you are. when you wrote this

":.....I can see in some of your heads the biggest objection to this essay: "The stupid bitch! Doesn't she ever have a fantasy about exciting sex from a loving husband?"

Well of course I do -- even those of us without loving husbands fantasize about having one......."

OK . great. But then in order to show that you do have such fantasies you go out of your way to cite a story where that is NOT the case!

you wrote

"..........The Nude by Lady Gray" -- a story by "ladyellen" and you will see sex between a married couple who are in love. But the story clearly indicates that their arousal results from their fantasy about her sex with ANOTHER man -- a man she is in bed with on stage in a play -- and whose physical nearness on stage arouses her sexually, even though she is deeply in love with her husband. ..."

Lynn you are a crackpot. seriously... babe you are off your stump.

that story is NOT about the wife having hot sex from her husband. The fact that he may benefit from the wife's arousal because she cannot get to the other man at that moment .... is NOT story about a loving husband and wife.

I think for you to argue that THAT story of all the stories you an cite... as proof of what you think is mainstream Loving hubby wife sex .... is very revealing

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by Anonymous06/06/10

"BOO HOO HOO!"

1/5 again, fatty. Why not write an essay titled "why I constantly write awful sins against all of mankind?"

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by Anonymous06/06/10

I guess I have trouble understanding this fantasy:

Yes I am male but read this because my wife experianced date rape in her younger dating days. Shes now 50 and while it doesnt bother her any longer it is still a subject she has trouble with. More to the point, it hardly qualified in any excitement catagories. Whatever but I hope you never have to find out that it isnt up to your expectations. Mike in Missouri

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by Anonymous06/06/10

geez Harry

You know, you actually had a point. Lynn did in fact make a mistake and chose a writing sample that made no sense to the point she was trying to make. It was poor writing. But all the invective is so over the top. And wasn't it also you who was comparing a writer here to nazi sympathizers? Think about this, you called her a crack pot based on that on what evidence, a poorly chosen example. I don't quite understand your purpose here, whether it's just venting, or if you actually want to engage in a dialog of ideas. But if it is the latter, than you should concern yourself with your reputation as a clear thinker. If you see a mistake, such as what you said about the cell phone thing in the first chapter of Steel's current work, then call the author on it. But, if you want to make a larger comment, for example, to call someone insane, or a nazi sympathizer, well the level of evidence for such a claim, needs to be equivalent to the charge. In the above comment you made a good point and could have used it to argue that this was a carelessly and poorly written argument. To call the author insane was just ridiculous, and ended up with making you sound more like a crackpot than Lynn.

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by Anonymous06/06/10

objectivity is really difficult

you try to write an essay about rape fantasies and can only take yourself as a background. so how should you be able to write an essay about it ?

so your failure to me is not really surprising.

the best example is you mentioning ladyellen aka lady grey. she really is one of the best writers, technically that is.

unfortunately her attitude towards human beings in general, is so fucked up that she is able to destroy the most erotic stories in less than half a sentence.

and you ? yes you are not far behind her. not in writing and not in attitude. you can defintly write an erotic story but unfortunately you emulate ladyellen/grey so strong that everybody really has to ask himself if both of you ever heard or learned something about respect and decency in general and even more so with so called loved people or family.

while you just write divorced, lady ellen writes here single. her older statement was and is : Married but due to relationship problems I live a seperate life from my husband .

So how should you be able to write for us all ? you and your hero both are not able and/or maybe not even willing to make a relationship working.

so please ask some others before you write an essay and try at least to be a bit more journalistic and do the necessary research before you try to influence a lot of female readers on a path that does not end sucessfully as you (42 divorced) and your hero, lady what ever (46 separated and single) , have proven.

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by thebullet06/06/10

most on this site don't want a woman's POV

I thought the essay was rather enlightening.

In my formative writing period I posted a non-violent rape fantasy and was torn apart by many readers (one threatened to cut my balls off, another was going to take me to court). I was convinced never to go there again.

Yet, strangely, I received a number of emails from women who said that the story nailed their most secret fantasy. Looks to me like the author of this essay has it right.

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by Anonymous06/06/10

Absolutely Correct

Lynn,

You are absolutely correct. It is interesting that in every age there are topics that cannot be discussed because they are taboo. This is one of ours today. Women have a built in desire against all logic and reason to be taken by a strong man who overwhelms them and takes his pleasure in the woman.

This has nothing to do with a woman's ability as a doctor, lawyer, or astronaut. The desire to be forced to give in to a strong man is part of a woman's DNA. The key is a woman DOES NOT want to be forced to give in to every man. She only wants to be forced to give in to the man she wants to give in to.

So gentlemen if you think she wants it, she craves it, you are correct. But you need to stop and ask yourself does she want it from you?

One of the reasons sexual relations between men and women are so poor today is that women are not fulfilling there role of attracting, arousing, surrendering and satisfying the man and the man is not doing his job of wooing, winning, and taking the woman.

It is just as in partner dancing. The man cannot take a step forward if the woman will not step back. The woman cannot step back if the man does not step forward.

A successful dance requires each of us to fulfill our roles.

We've chatted on email Lynn. Keep writing!!

John

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by WFEATHER06/06/10

Something New to Consider

It is a good thing that I occasionally peruse the Public Feedback Portal, otherwise I likely would have missed this one.

I had never even considered women having rape fantasies until a decade ago in a grad class (film/media studies program) when the prof began a class session by showing a clip of a woman's rape fantasy. Since then, a number of women have confessed to me that they have rape fantasies of various types, and I admittedly still do not quite understand how someone could fantasize about something so potentially violent and invasive as to be topped only by murder. What your essay has done for me is pointed out the commonality, one which makes sense to me - although the general concept of rape fantasy still baffles me. If nothing else, you have given me something more to consider, which can only be a good thing!

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by PostScriptor06/07/10

Interesting...

and useful, and NOT just for the women to read, but informative for any men who would try to write erotic stories as well. Your essay was well written, thoughtful and subtle. Oh yeah, Henry Kissinger. Thanks for sharing your (very) personal thoughts with us.

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by zed006/07/10

Uh Oh!

After reading your essay, I think I finally figured out what I was doing wrong. To begin with I always picked the women up and threw her into the back of the van, which has a mattress but isn’t really a bed. I kind of missed it on the dirty talk too, I pretty much limited it to; “Quit your screaming bitch, or I will have to kill you!” At least I never have to worry about them being wet, which they never are unless they accidentally piss themselves whilst I slap them around. I also keep a large can of bacon grease handy, because it not only keeps things sliding smoothly, but also helps with flavoring in case I decide to go down there. Anyway thanks for the helpful hints and tips, I will try to do better in the future. zed0

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by Anonymous06/07/10

I Agree

Don't read your stuff, just the comments, but if masterbater Vile likes your stuff, you have big problems. But I don't think you care what men think.

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by GrumpyGamby06/07/10

Control fantasies: Yes and No and Maybe

I wanted to comment that I identified with your essay and assertion regarding women's rape fantasies. But, I didn't want to comment on rape fantasies. What I really wanted to do, was rename the genre entirely. A name that would be inclusive of all levels of reluctance, nonconsent, coercion, or force.

I passionately dislike the term "rape fantasy" and think it's a complete misnomer. Contrary to the stories submitted here, rape does not induce arousal, nor orgasm for the victim. I think this little fact, though well known, is the stumbling block both men and women have regarding fantasies of control.

A fantasy of control, whether freely given, or forcefully taken, is the common denominator. Women do fantasize about a more powerful male having control over her in a sexual way. Whether he grabs her off the street, hires her to clean his house and then coerces her, or just ties her up one night, she is not in control of the situation, nor her response nor the consequences of her response.

Intelligent women don't; good girls never, loving wives shouldn't... and yet being all three of these I most certainly do. I've read some non-con stories that have caused me to practically attack my husband having my wicked way.

What I find intensely curious, is how few nonconsent stories have the red H, and even fewer have any comments at all.

Lynn, I request your next essay have to do with women's guilt and shame regarding rape/control fantasies. Intelligent people understand the difference between a sexual fantasy and an adventure that they want on their bucket list. Don't they?

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by sexmate06/07/10

Interesting to say the least!

Zed can I borrow your van?

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by GrumpyGamby06/08/10

Misoginysts! WTH!

Zed, rather than changing the sheet on the mattress in your van, how about if you practice being confident and charming? Every powerful male has confidence and charm. That's the first thing a woman notices but she may not recognize it as such unless she's as smart as me. And there's another tip for ya.. look for smart women who understand the difference between charm and cockiness. But clean sheets are always a thoughtful touch!

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by Anonymous06/08/10

Misandry! WTH!

Zed has a right to express his opinion! As well as other male homo sapiens
who have an opinion or veiw of this topic.

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by just22see06/08/10

Thanks

Keep writing. I found it intriguing. As a male I find fantasies about control, overcoming reluctance and even non consent/ blackmail very arousing. But only when the woman enjoys it in the end even if it is ‘against’ her will. I really dislike, violence, sever humiliation etc. I want to win her over in spite of herself, not beat her into submission.

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by 1Master105/29/11

Well thought out discussion.......

This was a topic that many people should in fact find fascinating, especially those writing erotica. I certainly did.

I think the one thing you DID hit right on the head was that well written erotica DOES hinge very much on the proper choice of word use, they ARE the paints with which we brush and stroke (sorry). And that it is a subtle personal line that separates crude from well thought out....... And one wrong word can remove a reader from the scene entirely.

As far as the rape fantasy topic itself, this is a wonderful topic for you to have chosen, especially for the male readers in the group. It does help us understand better the female psyche and makes us better writers and much better partners..... Either with our own wives or with those we seek pleasures with outside 'convention'......

And THIS was actually the first thing I read from you! Looking forward to your stories......

1Master1

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by Anonymous08/07/11

Simpletons

It's easy to take what a person has in their head and bastardize it. Like zed0 thinking his comment was funny or a rapist reading so called 'rape' fantasies and thinking he's justified in actually raping people or pedophiles raping children because they read incest fantasies. That's a simpleton for you.

But after reading books like Nancy Friday's sex fantasy series and years of therapy because I was sexually abused as a kid, I've learnt that MY fantasies are MINE! In my fantasy, if I get 'raped', one: it's in my head, so two: it's obviously going MY way. The 'rape' is full of things I like and want done. Who in their right mind would fantasize about things they don't like?? How many people imagine having certain kinds of sex acts done if they hate it, that just wouldn't make sense now would it? But if you like it and you're 'forced' in your fantasy, it takes away personal responsibility and control, so it makes the fantasizer not feel guilty for liking something women have been told "good girls" don't like/do. It can be rationalized, "Well I was 'forced' so I had no choice, that's why I did it, that's why I came..." Men do it too. Think about 'forced' gay fantasies. If the man is 'forced' in his fantasy to suck a cock or have anal sex, then he's not gay. Rationalizations. Silly but sometimes that's what a person needs to come out of their shell and be ok with what they want/need.

The real question is about responsibility in writing these fantasies. On one hand, how do writers satisfy their, as well as others desire for the stories without trolls or violators thinking it's okay? On the other hand, how do we avoid offending someone or triggering a victim (like the thebullets said someone threatened to cut his balls off, probably a victim's knee-jerk response). I think if someone tags a story as "romantic" and "couples" then a reader comes along only to find out that it has rape, sodomy, etc, they're justified in being pissed off. And if that person has PTSD, it's traumatizing. So proper labeling is very important and should be enforced here. I have PTSD and know that it's very easy to have a psychotic episode from things like that - so it's called being considerate of others. I've come across a story ,and this is my third time here, where the tag said romance but it had borderline rape/incest in it and I couldn't sleep that night because it triggered me. I was so upset that it was labeled wrong, I could've avoided reading it...

PTSD aside, it's just as unfair to people who want a certain tone set to have proper labeling so they can avoid raunchy or hardcore stories if that's not what they want. I know this is an erotic site,so I didn't stumble here accidentally and shock, horror, but one person's treasure can be another's trash. I mean really - a few extra words to properly label a story shouldn't be such a hardship for a writer. That's just this girl's opinion.

~LaPetitePapillion

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by SirDuction12/31/11

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I thought the author was right to refer to both smart and strong as being attractive elements for women. Can a smart guy be small in stature or does a level of physical strength have to be present? Most women’s fantasies, as expressed in most stories on Literotica, describe the cat that gets the cream as tall, with dark-looks or blond but rarely somewhere in-between. Clearly, physically strong and smart is the best combination, it is not a matter of either or.

Cock size is also an extension of this strength fantasy for women, I think. It conveys strength in one man as opposed to another, as in cuckold stories, and ignores the fact that many men with larger cocks are often wimps and there are many guys with little cocks that are both physically and mentally strong as well as smart. The big cock is more a symbol of strength, virility and confidence that will always feature in women’s fantasies.

As an author I use this fantasy unashamedly to arouse women.

I can understand, more easily, why a woman might want to be wooed and seduced, slowly having her resistance overcome by seduction rather than force.

In this case it could be said that she is not physically or violently raped but seduced against her initial will, hypnotised by charm, a kind of subtle rape where the male gets his “evil way” nonetheless, charm and seductive technique being a powerful drug, far more effective than slipping a drug into her drink for example.

A smart man, whether physically strong or not, must surely get far more satisfaction from this kind of subtle rape. He knows he starts with a “no”, just as the real rapist does, but in contrast he eventually gets to “yes” unlike the real rapist.

I would have thought that this fantasy is more powerful for the thinking man and the thinking women. But I could be wrong, we men often are alas.

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by anon60603/22/13

Is there any way ...

to get a contributor-redacted edition of the women's feedback/comments on this question?

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by Lynn_MXX03/24/13

SOME ingredients for a good story

Whilst I like the theme of strong man/weak, reluctant woman, it turns me off big time when this extends into rape/coercion. Rather than being a raping, blackmailing beast, I'd rather the man be a tall, handsome, confident, charismatic seducer, who seduces a very reluctant conservative lady. She may have very good reasons for not wanting to be seduced, viz: She may be married, not using contraception, from a different racial background to the seducer or have religious reasons for keeping her knickers on; maybe even some or all of them put together.

Unfortunately, those stories on here are either very rare or are very difficult to find. One problem I have with the site is that in the tags portal, they're listed as 'Non-consent/Reluctance', whereas they should be listed separately.

If anyone can recommend any stories like I've described? I'll be glad to hear from you

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by Anonymous02/24/14

The Importance Of Rape In Male-Female Relationships

The Importance Of Rape In Male And Female Relationships



In her classic, best selling book, on human female sexuality ("My Secrete Garden") Nancy Friday* explains that the most common female sexual fantasy is that of being raped. (70% of women sexually fanaticize about being raped, sexually forced, or sexually overpowered by a human male)



What percent of women REALLY WANT to be raped? Answer: virtually none.

But subconsciously human females are attracted to "strong" males. Males who either play at taking, or do take a leadership role in their relationship.



Question: How long has this genetic imprinting (A desire for male dominance) been developing in the female brain? Answer: For close to four million years.



Question: How much impact has the forty year old "Let's burn our bras" movement had on the subconscious sexual and emotional desires of females? Answer, None at all.



Question: So how do our current "burnt bra generation" of females feel about their sexuality? Answer: confused.





* Ms. Friday had a group of randomly selected women, write down the details of their sexual fantasies. She then compiled them into catagories according to their frequency of occurrence.



** The modern tradition of the groom carrying his bride "over his threshold" is 2,700 years old. It comes from the Roman marriage ceremony, when at the end of the proceedings, after eating cake, the new Roman husband would carry his bride over his threshold and into her new home. This act was in remembrance of the "Rape of the Sabine."



In 750 BCE the men of Rome attack the tribe of the Sabine, specifically to kidnap their women. On returning to Rome they married them. When the Sabine men finally came around to confronting the Romans, the new Roman wives refused to leave their new husbands. The decedents of the "raped Sabines" came to rule most all of the known world.



To learn more about these topics you can do a Google Wikipedia searches on 1. Nancy Friday, 2. Rape of the Sabine.

Most sincerely,
Doc B

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by fanfare03/22/14

whoopie! & whoopsie?

Lynn, your essay "My Rape Fantasy" does incite a lot of colorful commentary. Your opinions are well written to defend your personal fantasies and what you have heard of second and third hand from other women. At this point I will concede, whatever turns you on, that does not harm yourself or others, is cool with me.

I understand that you are careful to keep fictional fantasy-rape stories separate from real life rape. In fictional porn there is the common opinion that a guy with a hard-on or a woman with a wet pussy are de facto agreeing to sexual congress.

My opinion on that is: A horse is not the rider, an automobile is not the driver. Physical reaction to stimuli is NOT consent! I think Final Stand put it well when he wrote "Standing in a garage does not make you a car. Any more then attending a church makes you a Christian."

Aside to that discussion, if you write about a fairy that does not make you a fairy. If you write about a ferryboat, that does not make you a ferryboat. If you choose to write fictional stories about rape, that does not mean that in real life you are choosing to be a rapist or a rape victim.

Now my deceased wife had very strong opinions about this subject of subjecting children and women and physically weaker men to the vicious crimes by sexual predators. In some of my writings you can see where I channeled my memories of her opinions. She vehemently ridiculed the notion that women incited brutal attacks.

Otherwise we would be blaming the lamb for being delicious to benefit the wolf's appetites.

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by sinstalker03/05/16

A males experience ......

My experiences in this fantasy is that a lot and I mean A LOT of women have desires they are unwilling or unable to express with their partners. We have told lil ladies that good girls don't do things like that, so why does she have these desires? She's a good girl after all. Step in a man that can force/coerce her and poof a ready made alibi, after all good girls wouldn't do this. But she is being made to so it is out of her control thus she gets to be naughty with no guilt because she didn't do it she was made to do it. This way she remains the good girl but gets to have the kind of sex she fantasizes about with no guilt . it has taken me years to realize this with my wife and had to learn to be more forceful as it went against everything I was or believed in even to this day 21 years later she won't move to do what she really desires but anything I just make her do gets her dripping wet and she goes at it with a kind of gusto. This is how she explained it to me many years ago. Great essay gave it a five. I think more men need to read anytime a woman posts something with a look into a woman's mind concerning sex it can only help make you a better man!

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