We Could Be Heroes

*Please* get an editor

I'm sorry, but I did not get more than two paragraphs past the prologue before I was put off by the total lack of any checking of your writing. Just three quick examples: I'm pretty sure the dress was draped, not "raped", over her form, "to die" is not something you can do to anything, however, "to dye" is. Oh, and memories having been forever scarred into memories seems... extremely redundant, to say the least. Sorry to be so harsh, but please get your work checked, or at least read over it. The basic premise seemed interesting though, so you may just want to get your most obvious mistakes fixed, since they really take the attention away from the story you're trying to tell, and repost this.

good start but needs work

Not only were there spelling errors but there were some significant grammar errors as well. The story has promise but needs more substance. Are we to guess there was some big scandal with her father? Since she had been raised in foster homes after her mother died (again a guess regarding the mother), I had already assumed that she had no father so that part of the story makes little sense. Then there is the guy who broke her heart ... why should the reader be interested in him? Is he a prince and then that part of the story ties back to the prologue? Did she misunderstand what he said to his friends? Also, how is the story related to its name and why do I want to read the next chapter?

I love the start. I hope there is more to come. Yes, an editor would be nice but I love the story!