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Too brief....
a pretty nice love story but way too brief.
It lacked character development and a basic interest in the characters and their thinking, emotions.
Keep writing but try to develope your stories.
Hmm..
It went by wayyy too fast. You should set a slower pace next time in your submissions. There's nothing worse than a romance story that's hard to believe. The story was good but it would have been a whole lot better if it was elaborated.
First story
but not bad, i agree it could have gone slower, more involved, but you have a good start here.
I'm not a professional writer, but i will offer you three pieces of advice,
1 always write from your heart, and even if the public says it stinks, keep on doing it.
2 never let the worst of the comments knock you down. You never know, they might be some jealous writer who is just being a bitch
3 never stop writing if this is what you love. It's been a passion of mine since i was in grade school, and until i found this site, i had never had the guts to hope i might have a future being one
and lastly
it's good, i gave your five stars just for the effort you took in writing it.
Thank you.
Yeah I kind of rushed it, just to get a feel for what it would be like to write on here. I should be writing a next one with an entirely different aim soon and hopefully it'll be better, but thank you for the feedback. It is much appreciated.
Good first story
I liked your first story. I thought there were a few fragmented sentences but in all a very nice story. Keep up the good work.
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