You finished the story as if you were on a deadline and you'd just remembered it. Take more time to pace things. A second chapter would have been merited with the daughters "cumming out" party.
I have favorited you and will be looking for the next story....excellent buildup and really good writing (IMHO) Congrats you've a winner here...
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! orBack to Fucking Fantastic at 50 orMore submissions by BrettJ.
[...]
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Posting...
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about Fucking Fantastic at 50:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Preview comment
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to BrettJ:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Send feedback
Sending...
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Username:
Password:Forgot your password?
Security code:
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save Cancel
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.
Close
English
Not bad at all!
You finished the story as if you were on a deadline and you'd just remembered it. Take more time to pace things. A second chapter would have been merited with the daughters "cumming out" party.
OMG I can't hardly wait
I have favorited you and will be looking for the next story....excellent buildup and really good writing (IMHO) Congrats you've a winner here...
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Fucking Fantastic at 50 or
More submissions by BrettJ.