All Comments on 'How To Be The True Love Of His Life'

Being a wife and mother myself, the scenario you describe is something I love to do. Alas, I've done it once, only once. The joy of actually getting home from work before him so I can shower and change into something naughty, of actually getting through the kids homework and getting dinner on the table, getting them to eat it and then getting them out of our hair, has only happened once. Once in many years of marriage and parenthood, is not enough. Could he arrange to get the kids from day care, get their homework done with them, get them fed and out of our hair so that I can become the saucy seducer? Yes. Has he? No.

You also mention lingerie and then chide women for not wearing it, snidely saying we ought to ignore our own impulse to criticize the way we fail to look while wearing it. I'm surprised you failed to mention your understanding of what women need in order to wear it. Yes, we're hopelessly needy and require constant affirmation that our body (however it may appear) is perfect, pleasing and no substitutions to what stands before you could ever be as good.

You seem to be so in touch with your needs. Have you ever been in touch with your woman's needs?

Love is giving, selfless giving. Selfless giving stops when it's not returned.

And talk, please! Open up and tell him! Life is too short!

I (FEMALE) agree 100%. My main thing would be that this is a conversation for two people to have. A partner can't expect their partner to know this automatically. Most people get so tied up in daily life that they don't see that this is very good advice for any relationship. I hope it is a given that what you want from the female should of course be returned (not wearing the frilly lingerie please)...the woman needs to be told she's wanted and put first etc. Both people need to put the other person first.

That said, I can understand what the other woman commented on about her husband wanting the lusty partner at night but not helping with the jobs that need to get done. The reality is that trying to be sexy and ready to ravish your partner isn't likely to happen after an 8 hour day at work, and five more hours of homework, baths, making dinner, making lunches....etc.

It's give and take as you said. You have to work as a team so that both people can then make time for each other. Communicate and tell your partner what you need and what you want to give in return. I hate when you break up with someone and they say 'you didn't do this' and ' I wanted you to do this or that' ...it's like then why the hell didn't you just say that? I don't read minds, do you? If you want to get disappointed in your mate for something you haven't told them you'd like then that is stupid. If it is said and they ignore it then maybe there is a problem.

A fatal flaw in women is insecurity about their bodies. Guys don't have the same pressure on them to look a certain way throughout their lives(not that there are no expectations for them physically but it is easier than for women) so you will have to deal with the 'I won't look good in it' thing. Though by telling her she's beautiful as many times as she needs to hear it, eventually you will convince her you think so and then she'll probably be more sexual when she's more comfortable with her body.

I think there is a lot of great advice in this. I will personally always abide by alot of this in my relationship but the biggest part of this is that it's all about teamwork and helping each other and making time for each other and I agree that love really is giving without the expectation of receiving. That is the best definition I have heard in a long time or maybe ever. Thanks, I enjoyed this alot.

Ever thought about the fact that if you would have held her hand, your ex might have swallowed your spunk. That was the one thing she asked, which you could have given selflessly: A token of love, saying you belong to me and I care for you. You want women to be selfless, but yet you do not do it yourself, denying your ex the one thing she wanted, unless... No wonder she did the same. After all she never asked for you to suck her, she asked: Hold my hand. You rejected her by not doing so, and made that her fault. Approached like that I as a woman would rather be damned than to swallow your spunk. You made your bed, lay in it.

Of course listing all the I did as or above anything expected should be mentioned for the record: I wrote poetry, brought home flowers and yes held hands, walked arm in arm, public displays of affection, did laundry, helped with all homework for the kids all the way up to graduation, did the cooking (almost every night and every weekend), even started dance lessons, going to three or even four nights a week after the last child went off to college. The problem is serious and goes unaddressed by the many. Somewhere in love there is a trade off (or should be) You do for me, I do for you. In a real live giving and loving relationship the payoff is giving equally, however, when giving is as mentioned as one sided as truth be told, the tapped well does dry up. Don't let your tap dry folks. Give until the realization hits you that there is nothing that can be done, said or fixed. Then realize it's one sided and done. Because, somewhere there is a person for you who has all and more of what each of you need, want and desire. No sessions with any kind of councilor changes the fact that some people are not programed to give, they are takers and should be left to themselves.

Oh HELL yes.