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English
Keep 'em commin'
can't wait for tomorrows thrilling enstalment
could do with being a little longer maybe
but thats me
many thanks
Too short
The chapters are way too short. It took me two minutes to read this chapter. There is no reason why you can't consolidate your short chapters into a longer story that will keep the reader's attention. This is already the fourth chapter and nothing has really happened yet.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
How could you stop there? Just as I settled in to read, it ended. Please, go ahead and post the story. I'm dying to know how it goes.
Oh, you TEASE!!
Just like a movie/radio/tv serial [ala Dick Tracey, The Shadow, Flash Gordon, Roy Rogers, Lone Ranger]. Short 5-minute [Anon's '2-minute'?] vignettes that always end with: "Will [our hero] survive [current disaster]? Tune in next week, for...[series name + chapter title]"
It can be surprisingly difficult to write engagingly for this kind of medium; you appear to be managing well.
Still waiting for the romance [SEX!!], though.
Shot you [sorry (no, I'm not)] a '5'.
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