by IncardineCool
Colette hurling was a bit much, and the last sentence really cheapened the story. Sure, it had an air of tawdriness about it to begin with, but Jack seemed to genuinely love Carla. That last sentence really depersonalized her and dismissed her as a meaningless conquest. I suppose that's meant to underscore Jack's descent into the depravity he has long been fighting against. Still, damned disappointing, that.
I'd love to read a sequel where Jack and Carla get themselves together, and to someplace happy. Tragedies are just not my thing.
Notwithstanding, your story was very well written with excellent development of character, pacing, eroticism, and emotional depth and tension. You are indeed an excellent writer, and I wish you the best.
I really liked it and can't wait to read about Kerry ; Perhaps she wil want to try Carla as well . Do hurry ......
This was a nicely written piece and I enjoyed it. It had good elements of story and character development. The last sentence was disappointing and didn't fit...it was slapped on. Continue this story with more of Jack and Carla's relationship and don't feel the need make it cheesy with more siblings.
Enjoyed the story. I liked how you started the story and then told us how it started. Please continue with more adventures of Brother and Sister
Feel free to bring Carla's friend Collette back into a chapter
Thanks for writing a unique and great story
I love it when a boy blows his brotherly balls up his own sister's pretty little twat. That's where a brother's warm creamy semen belongs.
It was an absolutely fabulous story throughout. Good character development except for Collettes character. But the ending........so disappointing. It changed the whole relationship between them. It cheapened both of them and eliminated any feelings of love that you had so craftily created. Great story. Fucked up ending.
Now that was a well crafted piece of erotica! Im not easy to impress and I mostly find the stuff on here mediocre to boring But here is a story that has class. Please write some more.
threesome was bad enough, but untagged anal? Now you've just abused your readers.