by andtheend
Just kidding Susie Q.
I do wonder though if you could explain why you have so many stories entered in the contest. Shouldn't each contestant just enter one? That seems fairer to me. We could compare your best with the best of other authors. Then each reader would vote, helping to select the eventual winner.
Unless the authors name is D.K.MOON in which case he's too important a person to allow mere readers to vote!
Another point: when you submit your story there is no need to leave the teaser under the title in the actual story presentation. "A naked woman kills a man on Nude Day in a hit and run accident" is what you left in this time. Better without it!
Otherwise not a bad story. I think this is your second best of the eight entries you've made so far.
Laurel in Oregon
I wish it was the end of your writing, you writing is crap really
You really built up the story I never expected that ending until the ending
Very entertaining and sexy You were very descriptive about the accident
I was going ah that is nasty Nicely done
I've read a few of your stories. You seem, to me, to spend pages on the introduction and the beginning. I find, what seems to me, the same thing written 2 or 4 different ways. Very little space to the middle and the end of the stories. I suggest you severely cut the first parts and significantly expand the middle and the ends.
That's all I'm gona say. You got a 5. (Yeah I'm as dumb as I sound)
Title says it all. Too long on the build up. The horrificness of the scene was okay. But there was absolutely not enough graphic sexual descriptive, and not enough setup from her side.
Keep at it. There is potential there.