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Across the Tracks

byBigCoreySKR©
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Comments (8)
by Anonymous

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by KittyKat14707/08/10

...

-pouts- wish it was longer. :) I like it

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by AzPilot07/08/10

Great start--

You've got my attention.

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by Anonymous07/08/10

PLEASE.......

continue!!! I'm begging! This was a great start with a decent amount of character development in a short amount of space (yes, I'm pouting over that one:p) I like how you bounced from Otis to Ariel's point of view without going backwards in the story; it helped things flow and was very easy to follow.

I'm hoping there will be more to follow.... :D

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by BigCoreySKR07/08/10

Thanks Guys

Thanks for the positive feedback, the reason it was so short was I have a very hectic schedule between work, college and the firedepartment. I'll make sure to add a bit more length to Chapter 2, which should be done in a week actually so stay tuned.

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by catman7107/09/10

SHORT BUT INTERESTING

AND YOU ALREADY LET THE FACT THAT SHES THE GIRL, OR A FAMLIY MEMBER SLIP. WHICH SHOULD MAKE IT INTERESTING

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by Anonymous07/09/10

No sex please, we're interested.

Really great start. Keep at it. We can stand about a month between chapters.

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by BigCoreySKR07/09/10

okay guys

Ch.2 was submitted last night, it's a bit longer than this one, and as to the lengths of time and chapter lengths. I really want to just let this flow as it wants, so there coukd be a couple days between chapters or a couple months. I'm going to try to get this one finished out before I start anything else too.

As to sex. This is a slow building romance, and Ariel is going to be a good girl. And you can tell Otis is a bit shy and withdrawn, so any sex is a few chapters down the road. Thanks for all the positive feedback.

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by sirreadsalot1002/05/11

Realy good start.

I realy enjoyed this! Ariel and Otis are so different, and I am looking forward to seeing how their romance develops as the worlds collide.

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