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Very promising start!!!
I love this sort of story!!!
More please
I would love to see their relationship extend beyond the physical. Great beginning, I'm hooked. Looking forward to more.
Thanks for the feedback! I've never written fiction before. :)
And I plan a nice long story with an evolving relationship for Lilac and Lord Randall, though it will be a process.
If you have any suggestions that would improve my writing, please let me know - kind yet specific/blunt is best. :)
Excellent writing.
You've written a lovely sweet Lilac and a possibly evil Lord Randal and a potential benefactor in John. You're writing is first rate and your plot is coming along well.
Will Randall seduce her, coerce or manipulate her, or force her? Will John be a party to her ruination? What will John think and how will he behave if he sees her upset? Will Randall hide his actions from John? I can see you've also set the stage for Randall, though nefarious intended he is, to become seduced himself by guileless Lilac's wholesomeness.
Good writing
It's refreshing to read a well-written piece.
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