that was the best story i've read on this website great descriptions
by
Anonymous09/09/07
Not bad, room to improve
Not a bad story, but some of the details would be clearer if the paragraphs were more concise. If you switch characters who are performing an action or saying dialogue, it's probably a good idea to start a new paragraph. Also, the external ejaculation and the lubeless anal sex make this story seem like a porn movie in text form.
You story was very intriguing but to short...it could have used a little more build up and a little more playing for the 3-some but otherwise i liked it...keep up the good work.
English
awsome story
that was the best story i've read on this website great descriptions
Not bad, room to improve
Not a bad story, but some of the details would be clearer if the paragraphs were more concise. If you switch characters who are performing an action or saying dialogue, it's probably a good idea to start a new paragraph. Also, the external ejaculation and the lubeless anal sex make this story seem like a porn movie in text form.
Story was ok but......
You story was very intriguing but to short...it could have used a little more build up and a little more playing for the 3-some but otherwise i liked it...keep up the good work.
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