All Comments on 'Lisa Pays The Price'

by Web_Spinner

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  • 276 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
A waste of your talents

It was a well written cliche. Well written, because you are a good writer, and cliche, because that is what you intended. It was, however, a waste of your talents. That being said, I still enjoyed it.

sexmatesexmateover 13 years ago
Very formulated and cliche.

I liked the outcome. I just didn't like the way it was told.

Maybe next time.

ohioohioover 13 years ago
Well written, but...

....not much emotion in it, so it wasn't very powerful. I don't have a problem with a familiar plot--more so with not feeling pulled into the story very much by the feelings of the characters.

Thanks, ohio

zed0zed0over 13 years ago
Seemed Like A Happy Ending to Me!

I just wonder why you take the time to write "a pointless, inane and poorly written story of revenge" without making the effort to "flesh" it out with some depth and character. Do you think all torch the bitch stories should be "pointless, inane and poorly written stories of revenge?" What's the point of intentionally poor writing? So many writers on this site have already accomplished that with out really trying.

victoriangentvictoriangentover 13 years ago
You are right

The outcome of the story was fine. The way it was accomplished was unrealistic, unbelieveable and not ever apt to happen that way in real life.

This is not your style of writing and I suggest you stay away from it because you were right, it was a piece of shit.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Good story.

A torch the bitch story to be proud of, well done.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
ZZZzzzzzzzz

Wake me up when it's ended please

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
nice tale

Enjoyed your writing and found the story quite interesting. I would say the husband came out on top.

john1946john1946over 13 years ago
Nice

One of the better of that type stories. I think I like the others better, but a nice break and you certainly do it well.

LouisWu1968LouisWu1968over 13 years ago
I give it 2 out of 5.

I gave it a better score than I assume you were going for. But what the heck - complete sentences, no spelling errors, a kind of plot - I couldn't give it a 1 out of 5.

Harryin VAHarryin VAover 13 years ago
Unbelieveably bad boring and badly written

I have shit stains in my underwear that is more interesting

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
50

50

nyminusnyminusover 13 years ago
Well I have to say your story was an accurate

description of what a MAN would do in the case of a cheating wife. I get so tired of those stories where some namby pamby, ultra( supposedly) sensitive husband deals with the same. First of all he cries like a baby while throwing up. Then he suggest..what? counseling..Counseling for a cheating wife? Bullshit..Then it lets the whore take him for a ride in the courts. Bullshit. But your story wasn't bullshit. It wasn't a vengful as WINTERFROG but close. The only thing was to give him some black eyes..Not the kind he was born with...Enjoyed the story

nyminusnyminusover 13 years ago
Oh pay no attention to Harry. He bullshit and he eat his own feces

you don't

chytownchytownover 13 years ago
YAWNNNNNNNN ZZZZZZZZZ

Well written but boring as hell.

keyholderkeyholderover 13 years ago
A waitress?

Why did his ex end up as a waitress? What happened to all her assets that were protected by the pre-nup?

jasonnhjasonnhover 13 years ago
Why write in a style you don't like?

First, I think it was a happy ending. If you had written a story about a bank robbery wouldn't it be a happy ending if the robber was caught and sent to jail. Bad people caught and punished = happy ending. However, you seem disdainful of this type of story and your efforts reflect that. It comes across as dull because you had already decided to make no effort to make it better. If you can't be bothered to make a decent effort, why write? I don't think it's a problem to realize that you can't write for all audiences. For example, if you are a heterosexual I think it would be hard to write a gay story because you wouldn't truly understand what you are writing about and your heart wouldn't be in it. If you want to stretch yourself as an author you should make the best effort you can and respect the area and readers you are addressing. Otherwise leave it alone.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Bravo

Well Done. Would love to see more stories like this with great results

JorycleJorycleover 13 years ago
Lots of these

There are a TON of these stories on Literotica. Lacking in actual sexual content, but high in "Here's how I got back at my whore of a wife" fiber. Which hey, I love that kind of tale myself, and I think this one was a decent addition to that category.... but it's also becoming a very old, tired theme.

We need more stories like this, but with more erotica.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Sincerely enjoyed this simple & straight tale.

A well done story and we also think the ending was "justified & happy" LOL. The author's introduction was meaningful & to the point. We hope this author explores the "torch-the-bitch" theme again. Thanks for your efforts, author.

gatorhermitgatorhermitover 13 years ago
OK Story (in fact Refreshing in some ways)

Some of the comments are correct that this is a simple, direct story. However to me it is infinitely better than the plethora of pathetic formulaic cuck stories being posted day after day. I liked the idea of videos mailed from the other side of the country.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
There are just too many good stories on this site...

for this to get a very high score. The basic problem, as several others have said, it's boring, nothing new, not especially creative. The characters are flat and unconvincing. The notion of the wronged-ex getting revenge is fine, but this story doesn't create the necessary suspension of disbelief needed to buy into it.

PistolpackinpetePistolpackinpeteover 13 years ago
Actually, compared to Nyminus Harry is the....

reincarnation of Bruno Bettelheim. Web Spinner I appreciate the prequel as I only have myself to blame for reading this piece of shit. But you are wrong about so called "revenge" stories. If written with effort they are the most realistic and involving tales on this sight.

PistolpackinpetePistolpackinpeteover 13 years ago
I meant."site"....

don't wanna be like the other droogs...

Vulcan_in_OhioVulcan_in_Ohioover 13 years ago
Not nearly so bad as your intro suggested

I kind of liked reading this. The spelling and grammar were good, and it flowed smoothly. Never mind the "nay-sayers" and no one here expects Shakespeare-quality in the writing. Perhaps it would fit better in the non-erotic category. I was just wondering if our "hero's" friend on the other side of the USA might receive a disk at some point, sort of a "thank you for your help" gift . . . Thanks for writing.

digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichover 13 years ago
A fast moving and well written story

The story read well even though there wasn't any erotic scenes.

A good hard line storyline, well edited and easy to read.

Thanks

TE_RossTE_Rossover 13 years ago
Arrogant fiction

I had two questions after reading this story. Why did you write it? What do you feel about your fans who encouraged its creation?

I appreciate the warning about the absence of sex and character development. But I’ve never read an introduction where the author states that their story is ‘…a pointless, inane, and poorly written story of revenge’. The intro suggested to me that you did not want to write this, as if it was some type of forced assignment.

If your fans think enough of you to ask for a certain plotline then you have one of two choices. You can tell them politely that this is not the kind of story you care to write and decline their request, or you can write a story to satisfy them.

<b>If you opt to write a story for them then you at least owe them your best effort.</b> You in essence gave those fans ‘the finger’ by writing this story.

The piece was heavy on cliché’s, without any dialog (which ensured minimal character development) and yes, it was unrealistic. And yes it was inane, so you accomplished what you set out to do.

I’ve read authors whose stories seem to make them risk adverse, but never one so arrogant as to be fan adverse.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Absolutely Great!

For the "cuck loving" readers on this site, I say this is how you handle a cheating, slut wife. Accept no lies, excuses, or apologies from a whore who intentionally dishonored her marriage and husband. She selfishly chose to throw away her "vows of fidelity" and screw over her "loving husband". The ironic part is she is the one that gets "Fucked" in the end by the one she thought she had fooled. As Web_Spinner said the BITCH got torched. Thanks for the story!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Good Story

Loved it, I am so tried of the cuckold stories.

sexmatesexmateover 13 years ago
What happened?

After I read all of your stories I have to come back to this one and ask........

what happened to your writing style and your in depth emotions that you articulated and crafted in your other storirs? This one doesn't fit at all and was such a disappointment. I am glad I read your other posts. This was the first one I read and I wondered about what some of the other commenters had said about this one not being up to your srandard. So I went and found out for myself. They were right.

I look forward to more stories from you. And I have to admit I hope they are as good as your other posts, and hope this style is abandoned forever.

Your fan,

Thanks for writing!

Rob ConnerRob Connerover 13 years ago
Wonderful!

Great Tale! She got what was coming to her and then some! More Like This ONE!!

jiminabjiminabover 13 years ago
Harry

...you either have shit stains that "are" or you have "a" shit stain that is. Regardless. I do believe you have them or it.

jiminabjiminabover 13 years ago
Sorry

Sorry Spinner. I forgot to comment on your story. Harry just seems to do that to me. I liked your story. A bit short but good. Thank you.

0649d0649dover 13 years ago
emotionless

This is an emotionless story .. it's even less than vanilla. It's just "man knows wife's cheating, then he screws her over in divorce and rest of her life". I'm not saying he should be a wimp or that there's anything wrong with you writing it like this but it doesn't make as interesting a read. The lack of emotions and character interactions make it dull.

oldwayneoldwayneover 13 years ago
I'll bet PAPATOAD and torchthebitch liked it.

I know I did! Thank you for keeping up the fine tradition of some of the best story tellers on this site. Definitely 5 Stars!

RePhilRePhilover 13 years ago
Nice to read stories of men with kahonas

Write us another one pls

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Loved it

More like this please. I love torch the bitch stories. Gotta balance out all the wimp cuck stories that people keep writing for some reason.

I think you should have had a confrontation with Lisa, it would gave add a more personal torch the bitch element. Perhaps she could get a nice disease or something from lover boy.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago

When the wife deserves it I love a "torch the bitch" stroy. Same when then man is a cheating slime. It's always good when selfish stupid people get what's coming to them. And well Lisa deserved what she got.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
great story

there should be a section here devoted to "torch the bitch" stories :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
good

There is the cheating and dispassionate manner in which the problem was approached. The evidendence was gotten and the confidence in her folded like a house of cards. There is a point where one stops caring, and he was pushed to that point. Nicely executed and hard lesson for her, and probably not very good for the guy.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
WOW!!!!!

A man with nads and doesn't eat creampies!!!! This improves my entire outlook on life. Teriffick story I enjoyed it very much. R.T.

BigJohn601BigJohn601about 13 years ago
Ataboy! Great story with a deserving payback....

Like more stories like this........

dad2you2dad2you2about 13 years ago
He only got $300,000

A big time law firm would have payed at least $1million to keep it quite. It would have cost them more to go to court. Other wise it was a good story.

TNDRIVERTNDRIVERabout 13 years ago
Good one

I some how doubt Lisa would really struggle that long she could be the legal rep for a porn related company doubt they'd care she was a cheating slut, or she could have found a rich pervert and fucked her way into his fortune. But I get the point of the story and storyline. But women always have options with sex if they are willing to use it.

oldwayneoldwaynealmost 13 years ago
Damn! I read it all over again and

my opinion is unchanged. Five Stars!

DWornockDWornockover 12 years ago
4****

The best part of the story is he didn't go off the deep end, hitting people, getting drunk for a month, and crying "Woe is me."

However, the story is not realistic. No one would be fired over sex nor would her family disown her. In fact, although people may have a little interest, they really wouldn't give a hoot about who she is fucking.

Certainly the Law firm wouldn't give him a cent; and attorneys don't sue other attorneys and, even if he did sue, the court would just dismiss the case because sex is a non-issue unless someone files for sexual harassment or there is rape involved.

The idea that sex is an issue in today's world is nonsense. Even Bill Clinton got reelected proving just how little it matters who fucks who.

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
DO IT FAST, HARD AND HATEFUL

thats what comes naturally. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
DWmoroncuck doesn't have a clue

Only an idiot would spout that nonsense in a public forum and expose the depth of their stupidity. For chrissake, a 10 second Google search is all it would take to check and yet that moron continues to make asinine statements disputing reality. 2 stars for a passably written but emotionless cliche.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Oh no!!! DWcuck commented again!!!

Which means dear author, that I can only grant you 1*. Even though I loved the story, and thought it was entertaining enough, the mere fact that such a faggot as DWmoron commenting below and awarding you 4****'s, has ensured the low score I've provided you with. Sorry.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
you killed her

STILL sending those videos out is over kill..how is she going to live you are turning her into a whore to support herself..this is beyond revenge..no kids,no explanation..too much unknown

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Why

...does DWMoronfucker insist that every story it reads is unrealistic? What would be realistic to it? Maybe something along the lines of "Guy finds wife in bed with some dude, wakes up, turns off computer, stops reading Literotica?" Would the fact that a story like that only had 16 words, and only three of them had more than one syllable be readalistic to it, i.e., it wouldn't have to pull out a dictionary and it might actually understand the story?

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
ONCE AGAIN THE OLD IF A PERSON DONT KNOW

is it stupidity or too much faith and trust in your partner. TK U MLJ LV NV

BTTapBTTapabout 12 years ago
The one-sided BTB story

A revenge fantasy. However, it is told in a first-person narrative with basically no dialogue, so it reads rather clinically and matter of fact. That, plus not getting anything from the wife, asside from her acting guilty, and then references to her tantrum at the end, leaves the reader wondering what the hell was going on with her. The husband doesn't care, so maybe the reader shouldn't, either. However, the whole story, while well-written, just leaves me flat.

bruce22bruce22about 12 years ago
Nicely Toasted

The interesting thing is that it is all clichés, but still fun..

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
i quess you like to destroy people who screw you

a liitle bit of over kill. and no explanation from her.

studebakerhawkstudebakerhawkalmost 12 years ago
Came across a litle flat.

The writing is certainly good enough, but this comes across a fairly boring recital of events. Your other stories seem to have more emotional depth to them so maybe this was more experimental in nature. At any rate, thanks for sharing it with us.

A side note to DWornock: Pull your head out of your ass, son. You're embarrassing yourself. Clinton's re-election came BEFORE his sex scandal with Monica. Just about every time you try to impress us with your vast knowledge of how the world really works, you end up proving that you don't have a clue.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
it just mattered that she did it

Thank you, I enjoyed the read. I did agree with studebakerhawk that it came across a little flat, but you know what, you got the important part right, that it didn't matter why she did it, it just mattered that she did it. Thanks again for sharing!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Good kick her ass out

who cares about an explanation from her seriously, she fucking cheated. Divorce the her and move on there is no explanation that justifies cheating at all EVER! those of you that think there is dont need to ever get married cause your stupid

tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
#2 DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS

lies an unwanted mind over matter, TK U MLJ LV NV

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 11 years ago
Excellent

That's what happens when you cheat on a loving faithful husband. The cheating whore skank slut cunt wife is a pariah. No one cares, no one loves and no one bothers with her. One thing would have made this perfect. If she was pregnant by her cheating scumbag asshole married lover and had twins, one black and one white.

HA Ha ha

OH YEAH

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
i have a problem with this story

she cheated , he kicked her ass out and destroyed her. without finding out why???

the story is weak because we do not know what caused her to stray and why he was so adamant in destroying her. sure she deserved some payback but why? why would she cheat in her office and with another member, her father is a racist , bigot.. it makes no sence.. why cheat from such a good husband and a happy marriage makes no sence again...

phd70phd70over 11 years ago
Overkill on the price Lisa has to pay.

She was a terrible, cheating wife. But why did she do it? No answer in the story. Revenge was that she lost her job, and was blackballed from her career, home town and industry. Overkill revenge in my opinion. No reason for the nuclear revenge is refererenced: No intentional having children with a lover and not telling husband. No attempting to kill husband. Etc, Etc.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Not overkill - this bloody slut deserved it all and hats off to this author for the story!

The negative comments seem to come from the pathetic wimp fag crowd - in which we say, "fuck off".

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

A point about the poker scam - when the finances come up in court and it suddenly becomes clear that the man lost every last penny of the couple's shared finances to what appears to be a serious gambling addiction, any sympathy for him is going to be lost. "Of course she cheated, her husband was a lousy gambling addict and destroyed the family financially!" Even a shark lawyer would rape him on that charge.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
she was nothing but a whore

personally the person that cheats in a relationship doesn't deserve a penny in the divorce or rights to their children.

they are the lowest form of life.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Agree/Disagree

Once divorced, any follow up revenge was over the top. You already smashed her personal life of family and friends, lost her job with no references and left her broke and owing money.

I'm not agreeing with her and her conduct, she cheated, she was caught and she paid a very high price.

Constantly following her around and preventing her from getting back on her feet and trying to have a life - seriously sick, abusive and I think you need to have yourself checked out for character flaws and anger management...you destroyed her job, her reputation and everything and anything that was important to her NOW - fuck off and leave her alone!

She'll have regrets and bad dreams for the rest of her life - enough already! You beat the hell out of her now walk away.

cantbuymycantbuymyover 11 years ago
only the cheated

only the cheated gets to say when enough is enough. when he is satisfied then he is satisfied and until she is in the shit.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333about 11 years ago
Enjoyed it

Thanks for the offering.

tazz317tazz317about 11 years ago
#2 DESPITE THE CONTRADICTIONS IN THE SETTLEMENTS

a turnabout on the cheating spouse is well received, by most, TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Posting online

If he posted the video online under her real name, First, Maiden and Last name, as well as her "lover's" name , it would follow them every time a background check was run. No escape. Her only chance would be to find some jerk to marry for his name alone. She couldn't afford to go to court to have her name changed, not working as a waitress.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Don't get this at all

She screwed around. Whatever. What is the big deal. People screw around. If I was head of the law firm the counter suit would have sent you to the poor house.

elHosedelHosedalmost 11 years ago
Fun little romp

A fun little romp of a story. It's funny how the commenters who are pointing out ways of countering what this character did to punish his wife are missing a most important element of his character. He doesn't care what others think of him, otherwise he wouldn't have so publicly exposed his ex. This character cares about results, not the details leading to those results.

As for the guy suggesting the Law Firm would counter sue. They really wouldn't. Not for the amount of money. Law Firms are made and broken on perception, not ability. As such, they would really just want the whole thing to go away. Not be dragged through court for another 2 years in a bunch of claims and counter-claims.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
i don't know whats more disturbing

the infidelity or the multiaccounting!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
she

got it. so sorry for the lawyer losing his job, NOT.

$300 GRAND, nice sum.

tazz317tazz317over 10 years ago
#2 WHAT IS THERE TO SAY

after "Get the fuck out" TK U MLJ LV NV

OldpartOldpartover 10 years ago
A fairly good btb story

But it would be much better if fleshed out a bit. Got to agree with Ohio on this one.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Too antiseptic

Humans are not that simple, nor is divorce painless and quick. This story reads as if the author has very little life experience. Things never end this cleanly with no HUGE bumps and surprises along the way.

Live some before you write more.

LechemanLechemanover 10 years ago
To Antiseptic Anonymous

You really need to read the disclaimer before spouting how poor the author is etc etc. Seriously, get a life because your attention to detail is appalling.

Now if on the extreme off chance the disclaimer was put in after your abrasive commentary then you need a wake-up call as these are simply stories. Get over it!

Other than that I liked the story.

Short, sweet and highly revengeful (as alluded to in the disclaimer).

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
To Lecheman

Get over yourself, story was like reading a tech manual or warranty card - no emotion, flat, pointless - fodder for the no-life eunuchs with 3k comments in LW.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
best

story on the net ***************************************************************************

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
You Write Intelligently

Yet you use the non-word 'payed' as opposed to the word 'paid.' Why is that?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago

This is sort of a "middle of the road" story for me. By that I mean that it wasn't bad and I liked some parts of it. But first I think that the first person recollection wasn't the best choice (I would've loved a bit of dialogue, at least to get the most important scenes across better) and second it was no more than the typical "revenge on cheating wife" story with no great (or small) innovation or excitement.

Thanks for writing and publishing this, but we both know you're capable of so much more.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
My goodness!

The ending to this story just left a wonderful taste in my mouth. Finally, the cunt gets what she deserves. Nothing but heartache and hopefully a cunt full of AIDS and STD's.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Romper Room Cookie-cutter Writing

Ai, carumba! Where do I start?

How about the atrocious grammar...and the formulaic plot that's been done elsewhere ad nauseum--and to much better effect, I might add.

The most unbelievable part is the emotional detachment of the husband in this story. It makes no sense at all...unless the author was trying to show that the wife was going elsewhere for her emotional needs, because the husband was a fucking robot!

The guy in this story is not likable, and right from there, this story falls flat on its face; never mind whether it's plausible or not!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
romper room cookie cutter

ah but very good tale-ing, better than at least 90% of the crap lotta weirdo

wacko folks praise. small percent of literotica authors are worth reading,,,this is one of them.

5 stars

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Ai, carumba! Where do I start?

5 star******, as in excellente

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
BTB

Pure BTB goodness thanks and ignore the sissy trolls.r

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Sad

The fantasies and fears of old white dudes! Get over it already You are not attractive.

NWlifterNWlifterover 9 years ago
Awesome!

This should read as a 'how to'.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 9 years ago
Damn

Fucking cunt got what she deserved in the end. Nothing,

HA

krosis666krosis666over 9 years ago
Your self assessment was right

That WAS inane drivel. At least you are honest with yourself as an author.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
@ Anonymous re SAD

ROFL you're just too funny.

SplitAcesSplitAcesover 9 years ago
A pathetic cuck story or BTB?

I'll take self respect every time. I don't know why you disparaged this story. Are you saying he should have disrespected himself and became a cuckold? Or had counseling and hoped that she really stopped cheating on him and wouldn't do it again? Or should he have gotten the divorce, but let the courts rape him?

She destroyed the most precious gift we can receive on this earth. Sadly, it is only perceived as such if all cylinders are firing properly with both partners. She broke the most solemn oath that most of us will ever make without cause. It is criminal if he should have to pay the piper.

Tw0Cr0wsTw0Cr0wsover 9 years ago
someone said

Someone said that he should not have continued revenge on her after the the divorce.

Her cheating on him was still keeping him from being able to trust another woman enough to get into a long term relationship.

Since what she had done was still hurting him forgiving her is not required.

Storm113Storm113over 9 years ago
not so great

not as good as your other stuff. i agree the guy was emotionless. never believed he loved her in the first place. still, she should not have cheated, she should have just divorced him. btb for that. did not believe her dad would just abandon her. unrealistic. i would yell at my daughter for cheating, tell her i was ashamed of her. tell her she embarassed me, but i would not abandon her. no real dad would.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
No emotion, no dialogue, no nothing!

This was about as dry as they come. The author would have done much better to put a little effort into the story. This reads like he was dictating an office memo. 2*s for an extremely half hearted effort.

GoesGruntGoesGruntover 9 years ago
Quick and Dirty

The story was everything the author promised at the start. Great for revenge buffs, but not worth it to anyone else.

Since the author kept their promise, well done!

impo_58impo_58over 9 years ago
4 * for the revenge...

4 * for the revenge...that's all the story have...

tazz317tazz317over 9 years ago
HOW MUCH REVENGE IS IT

when one sets the rules and knows the outcome, just like Profession Wrestling & Tele-vangelists,, TK U MLJ LV NV

mike9698mike9698over 9 years ago
not so good

if this was all the passion he showed his wife no wonder she cheated.

Anonymous
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