Baker's Dozen

Nice, but confusing

Nice Story

But is there any more of this, would be good if you post some more in this story

More is being worked on. What parts are confusing?

This story sounds alot like "Avatar: Establishment" by Dark Pen . Its different but the premise is almost identical. This story seems like its going to be a low rent rip off....sort of like the GoBots were to the Transformers.

Great Start

Nice start kind of an abrupt end but I liked the story.

Not a ripoff. I had never even heard of the tale you're talking about until I just looked it up. I didn't read it, but I can see why you would say that. The similarity in the first several paragraphs are distinct, but I really don't think they will end u[p the same. Either way, I will not be reading the rest and hope my story will differ. Thanks for the heads up, though.

Nice Start!

I hope,you continue the story !