You've got it, keep it going, great.
except this women are too fucking thin!
...did you stop?
You wrote well, so - chapter 2????????
that plot has been done a million times on this site
Mixing up characters' names is such a basic error
You're going way too fast.
Within two word pages, all the action was spent. This story is highly unrealistic. There's no way these girls can orgasm so hard and these guys cum so often.
I hope you will pay more attention to details in your next chapter.
Remember, take your time to tell your story.
Loved this story.
This is good stuff ! Your portrayal of a snooty wife being beaten and bullied into sex with a thug, and the cruel rape of her daughter, made me sorry for them whilst enjoying the posh wife being forced to submit. You get the balance between out and out rape and reluctant pleasure just right.
The forced sex between mother and daughter was halfway believable, and up my street as I love trib, the movement from gritty reality and nightmarish rape to more fantasy elements was interesting, whilst the happy ending gave it a feelgood factor, as did the blossoming of sexual love between Mother and daughter.
keep up the bad work!
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