All Comments on 'Charley's Fall'

I hope you'll continue and write about Charley's revenge.

Thanks, ohio

With a few more words you could make this story much better.

We need to understand the thoughts and feelings of the main character better. For example, why was she so passive? Was it a desire to be accepted by the group, or just generally submisiveness. She hadn't been drinking and the others were drunk. Her mind was clear, so either she should have fought back or we need to understand her motive to give in so easily.

Also, what was the motive of the other girls and the guy? Were they pissed that she lost them second place with a bad dive? Were they just looking for someone to screw and they happened to think of her? A little more insight here would be helpful.

Finally, the coach's reaction seems unlikely - at least at the high school level. Maybe they should have been interrupted by a friend instead of the coach.

Overall, I think you've done well and hope you post more.

Came across this by chaance after reading the Charley trilogy. It's actually very good, portraying a brutal act, with brutal prose. And introducing a very sweet likeable character, Charley