Taken

Nice

Nice start, can't wait to see what comes next. I can see already whatever it is Liz will be all in the mix.

Good start

Promising, but you could use an editor.

Really Like

I agree the story is off to a great start. Can't wait for second chapter

Don't stop!

I'm liking this! Please continue:)

good start keep it goin!!

good start but

you really need an editor. subject verb agreement and commas are needed.

I liked it.

Keep it going.

nice start

i can see it will build up to a very intense story. mmmmmm

Sounds promising so far

This story sounds promising, some errors with choice of words, such as using pact ( agreement, treaty) instead of pack (group of hounds or wolves). But sweetie keep it coming, i do love non-human stories.

great start...

LOTS OF SPELLING ERRORS THOUGH. -MANTHA114

Good Start

I personally think way to many are thinking about spelling errors and grammar...It a good start of a story...Keep up the good work

good start

I look forward to reading more

nice job, a little rough around the edges but...

the overall concept is great and it seem like it is going to be a good story in the making. It needs work with the writing so you should find an editor, there are plenty of great ones on this site. But so far it is a pretty good start of a story

Good Start - Keep Going

You've made a good start. A little rough in places and the flow needs some work. You have an interesting storyline that will keep me reading. Good job.

Great first chapter

Wonderful plot and I'm looking forward to more, but I do agree with honeybree about an editor.

Can't wait to read more from you!

I think it is a great start and a good job for a first story. I hope you'll continue it. I think you could benefit from asking for an editor. I think it would be a great help for someone to just help you round it out and make corrections so that you put the best work out you can. I think the plot is a good and it will be even better as the characters are developed and the plot twists come. Just one note that you have pact written instead of pack. One of the little errors someone could correct for you. I look forward to seeing where you take it. I would keep it under the nonhuman category instead of interracial as this genre has a good following. Good luck.

not bad

looking forward to see how you take this

I like it
please continue the story there is really never an interracial nonhuman stories

Loviit please continue

tHe story

love

i adore this story u must continue it. pleasee

omg

I loved it that was great you told us just enough for us to really want to read. I hope you r coming back soon to continue this story.

YES!!! Another non-human BW/WM interracial story!!!!

There are not many of these on this website. So, when one appears...I go bonkers. So, please give us an update SOON!!!! The story's premise is really interesting...

Nyeesha

Not bad

The story itself isn't bad but I have difficulty getting through it because of errors such as using the word "pact" (agreement) instead of "pack" (of wolves). It would be a good idea to get an editor since spell check only picks up spelling errors as opposed to usage errors.

Editor!

You have made a good start! I agree with the comment concerning the errors. They are distacting, and you deserve the readers full attention. Reach out for some editorial help and you will be on your way! Bravo!!

Good Start

I'm looking forward to the rest of your story can't wait to see how it plays out. I would also like to say people who give you a compliment with one hand and take it back with the other should be ignored. Especially ones who criticize your spelling but make spelling mistakes in their comments.

Love it

Please updAte

love it!

...but you need an editor when you get some time make some revisions or even rewrite the story to give it a better flow.

good luck and don't stop writing

Good ideas and plot!

Love your ideas and plot! You do have considerable errors in word choice, grammar, and tenses. Consider an editor. You would learn from them and your story would go from 4 stars to 5.

Great start

I like the premise of the story. Thanks

Really like the story

But as others have mentioned having an editor would really polish this story.

First Story

I think this is a fantastic start. You have started with what seems some good character w/just alittle background. And as the title suggest, things are about to get interesting. I going to chapter 2 now.

Dry opinion

Interesting, exciting, good start. Please make less errors.

shows potential

I would say there are errors but that could be remedied with an editor easily. Also a wolf pack is a PACK, a large group not a pact which is an agreement. Keep writing pls I love werewolves since Patricia Briggs showed me how cool they can be

storyline is good...

Please consider using punctuation.

Have read this multiple times...intrigued by Gabriel

I keep coming back because I like what you did for two chapters.
The potential is very strong for this story line. I would love to see the
story play out with his family trying to control his decisions. He is an alpha
after all.

Three words...

Get an editor!

Bitch is crazy! ! Gabriel is going to have to kill her.

Love it!

series

Love it need to finish the series

great so far but.......

It's a small thing but it's Pack not pact