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Roman Double

byth43©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous08/09/10

Unnecessary Narrator

This is a nice enough story, and well told, but I have to wonder why you bothered to make the narrator a character? It seems like a distraction and doesn't add any value. Why not just tell it from an omniscient third-person viewpoint with Jillian as the main character? I think that would feel less like a "loose end." But overall, good job!

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