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loved the story
all in all there were parts with some small mistakes and what not however due to the ending its all worth it and i fuckin love it you should make one of those creepy pornos with a story line depicting these accounts exactly
Cool ending
At one point I was getting annoyed that our Wally was a bit of a bitter and twisted old cunt, and somewhat two-dimensional (Umm... not a pun. I mean shallow!) but I like where you went with it in the end.
I would have meted out a lot more punishment on the boorish Max - how would the asshole have enjoyed suddenly finding cum oozing from *his* asshole, for instance - but overall a good story. Well done!
Good Story
Got ME thinking!
twist
Loved the twist at the end. Did not see that coming.
The Devil is in the details
Any half ass detective would have had you at the bank job. You turned on your device once you were inside and already on video. You turned it off, "several blocks away" from the bank. All they would have to do is check who was absent once the cameras came back on.
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