by hblocalgrl
I love the symmetry between the two girls on the DVD and the two girls in the story. Super hot stuff! Thanks.
The story was good, but right at the end you spoiled it, by not proof-reading. Considering it started out as Devon watching the DVD and Chelsea spying on her. The last couple of paragraphs, for no reason, Devon suddenly becomes Tara. This spolied what was a good read....
I was really enjoying the story which for most of it had just the right amount of detail. Once the two girls get together on the couch, however, you just sort of closed it. I think the story would be improved by Chelsea giving more description of the actual mutual masturbation including her slipping into orgasm. I did really enjoy it, so please don't take my comment as anything harsh, just a suggestion to perhaps make a good story even better.
I really liked that the end was kind of washed over: The build up was all the fun. It wasn't so much about what they did when they were on the couch, but about how they got there. Really good story, shame about the name change issue, but still a favourite!
I thought the premise and writing was well done....great situation! Though, like others, I wish it hadn't ended so abruptly. All in all, well done though. It was arousing!
(Yes, change Tara to Devon at the end!)
Really good story but Devon becoming Tara at the end threw me a little
The true essence of femininity.
Just waiting to be discovered.
In truth, this was a fantastic setup for a scene that we didn't get to see. 😭