All Comments on 'The Thunder Rolls'

and I love your interpretation of it here. A beautiful romantic story. I like the way you made it erotic, yet not sexual. Great piece. Good luck in the contest.

2). "In a feeble attempt to trap him, his assistant had claimed he'd gotten her pregnant. When his wife learned of this, she'd told the woman off and promptly fell into his arms, sobbing and begging his forgiveness. She'd known then how foolish she was to doubt him. He'd had a vasectomy a year previous, so there had been no possible way for him to get anyone pregnant. She knew even though he still could have had an affair, he wouldn't have."

This needs further expansion to make sense. Who received the call? If it was the husband, how do you explain the claim of 'you got me pregnant' if there was no affair? It would be weird to claim that without sex happening. If it was the wife who received the call and the assistant trying to make trouble, then it would really, really be helped by dialog. As it is, the major plot point goes by too quickly leaving me a bit confused.

1). The other problem is purely opinionated, not any objective analysis. That whole bit with the restaurant at the beginning remains unclear even by the end. If it is supposed to remain open-ended and ambiguous, that is fine, though the reconciliation call could be made more PURPOSEFULLY ambiguous/doubtful while at the same time being expanded with more detail. Otherwise, it remains a bothersome loose end that needs to be wrapped up. If the location had been changed to the office, I could make the leap, but meeting at the restaurant again hints at an affair, contradicting the wifes later seeming insecurity.

Really, it comes down to the fact that I feel there is unintended uncertainty as to what was happening, rather than intended uncertainty.

"prayed she'd understand why he did what he did." who exactly is the she? The wife, or a mistress, and what did he do? Is that referring to the restaurant? Something else? It just doesn't quite come together at the end, though it comes close.

Not exactly what I'd expect from "translating" this song into a story, but not bad. A bit confusing in a few spots, and I like the "suspense" with the wife pointing the gun. Good luck in the contest.

while short and simple, this is a wonderful read for a sense of mood and how nicely after the transition of time you wrap things up completely, making for a very satisfying read. Again a wonderful read that should bring fans back to your worthy works. Best of luck in the contest

I like the simplicity and the brevity here; you do a lot in a little space.

I am confused by the paragraph about the assistant claiming she was pregnant. What was she trying to trap him into if he hadn't been with her? How could he still smell of her perfume if they hadn't done anything? Also: "She knew even though he still could have had an affair, he wouldn't have." How does the vasectomy prove this? I remember my mom didn't want my father to get a vasectomy because she thought it would make it easier for him to cheat on her.

That paragraph aside, this is a really good story!

...i don't even know who garth brooks is.

now look what you've done; i'll have to youtube or itunes or summat.

i liked the piece for itself though. it was a close call!

This was an interesting story, and it did follow the song to one possible conclusion. One thing that bothered me was the lack of names for the protags. This resulted in an overuse of pronouns.

Like another respondent, I did wonder how the phone call from the husband's assistant would allay his wife's suspicion of an affair. If anything, I would expect it to magnify the suspicions, and the fact she knew the woman caller was not preggers by her husband wouldn't prove there had not been an afffair. Perhaps it should have been a little longer to answer those questions.

Very enjoyable mood-piece - great establishing of atmosphere in the opening, very film-noir for all its country music associations. Nice minimalist storytelling too. Well done.

A good SHORT STORY! Limited time, place, action, but a lot happens. All of our stories on this site revolve around the basic dance between male and female: that is sex, that is humanity. All the good and all the bad falls into those two categories, or an infinite number of variations. And I also like "thunder"....I even like the real thing.

I love the writing- its succinct and has appropriate charactor. I hate guns- I'm glad it didn't go off and was, instead, disposed of. Its a strange thing but if I were the man I would have packed and been gone with the advent of the gun. I don't know how, within a marriage, that could be glossed over and I think that both their minds would hark back to it frequently where guns are unacceptable. I guess I'm a product of a different society. Perhaps he was the one who had invested the most, in trerms of the material, into the home and was unable to make such a sacrifice. The story has made me think and is interesting in that respect. Thank you for making me think.

Five, and good luck in the contest.