College Credits

Great Story

Would love to see a chapter 2!

huh?

so is this story going anywhere? seems a pretty lazy attempt at building a story for future chapters

a guy writer

you can tell at the start the writer is a guy when he has the sister sleeping in her bra. if asked 99% of women would say they would never sleep in a bra it is too uncomfortable. do some research before writing and ask a girl friend or wife if you don't know first hand.


DBRS

rushed/short

way to rushed and way to short with no real back ground as to their relationship before this did they fool around before or was this the first time? if the first time it should be spread out over months at a minimum needs a total rewrite by a GOOD writer and atleast one more chapter crappy place to end it

if you idiots read the story you would know that 1 they did not have a sexual relationship before now. and 2 she didnt wear the bra to bed she put it on when she gets up to leave the room. MORONS