Hot Summer Night Secret

Well told story

Thank you for your story. Spontanious events are so hot and you described this one excellently.

Just perfect!

I loved it! Thank you sharing.....I look forward to more from you! :)

well written

Sex scene, weak story. They are unaffected? I hope you do a follow up that gets to the interesting character development.

Very Well Done

This story was short, sensual and erotic. It was a brief glimpse of two people placed in a setting that was unplanned and teasingly playful, that unexpectedly turned into a hot sexual encounter for both of them. I liked that there was hardly any conversation between them, it wasn't needed. Conversation would have disrupted the trance of spontaneity. They were allowed for that moment to just react and respond naturally to their surroundings and to their shared desires. This was the perfect setting for actions to speak louder than words. Yes a sentence or two of character development may have been nice, but I don't think necessary. All in all this was an excellent first effort, and I look forward to reading your next story.

Nice vignette

Life is made up of many series of brief moments. Ones like this are what you hope are in place when you close your eyes and enjoy a look into your brain twenty years in the future.

Good description, precisely correct. Going much further, or deeper, would ruin the beauty.

loved it!

quick and sexy, believable, realistic. i wish i had a neighbor with a pool. ;)

A very nice short story.

It makes you wonder if this encounter was accidental or intentional. I for one enjoyed it very much. Cheers Roger.

very nicely done!

Short and exciting and to the point--and even more plausible than many such stories. I hope you'll write some more.

Thanks, ohio

Short, but very sweet

This is a prime example of a good short story. Very limited time frame, very limited action, but it works. It's as realistic as almost any erotic coupling story I've read here. It's hot, but it's not something that couldn't happen. And even better, it's open ended. The writer doesn't have to continue it, but this could go a number of ways and still work.

sexy!

I think the term "lovin" can be taken loosely, and just because the characters aren't in love, that doesn't mean it doesn't fit the theme of the work. (And for the record - people who cheat can in fact be in love with the other people you're involved with. Just because someone is unfaithful does not mean they're incapable of feeling love. I don't condone cheating, but I don't portray cheaters as monsters.) I think this does a good job with the theme. I also like how compact it is. No drawn-out drama, just a night of quick pleasure that never happens again.

There are some stylistic changes I'd make, but overall this is really good! I enjoyed it.

Well Done

Though short, It was very well done and Hot!
Best of luck in the contest.

Writing is better than the story...

You are certainly a very capable writer. What I missed was the character development, something about the players that I could identify with and fantasise about. It would have made the story somewhat longer but at the same time more intense leading up to the finale. I thought the separation was therefore a little too ... clinical? I would like to think there was some emotion between the characters which would indicate they had achieved more than physical relief from the tryst. Overall, an excellent effort and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Cool

I like it, But I have to agree with the others. a little more work on the characters so we can identfiy and feel for them. It makes for a much more solid story...not to mention, hotter

Pretty good for such a short story. Held my attention from the beginning to end. Not sure I agree with everyone about needing character development. That may be the case in a story, but this was more of a scene than a complete story. It's supposed to be pithy. I think the usual "blonde hair, 36-24-36" routine would have been wasted space. Nothing wrong with leaving it up to the imagination of the readers. I had no problem "seeing" the scene. I believe it can actually be much harder to develop & conclude a short story in just a few paragraphs than it is to have several pages to work with.

Well done

It's a shor story idiots. Forget the "chraacter development". Very well written, short, to the point, and very sexxy. What else you want?

Nice work.

Pretty damn good for your 1st story.

Nice pool story.

That is so true.
Cooling off in the pool can lead to something hot.
Good stuff.

Near perfection!

There are some folks who complain about damn near anything. "It's too short" "Not enough character development." "It's too long." I read this story and thought, "Damned near perfection." It gave me enough to enjoy it. It left me wanting more. It was erotic and thought provoking.
Damn near perfection. Thank you.

It was pretty good I enjoyed it thoroughly, thank you.

Cute story

And HOT!