She seems to be turning into some sort nerd/semi nerd. Just maybe Jeff's revenge will turn into Ashley catching Jeff. She isn't dumb but probably because of her up bringing she's extremely insecure. Jeff sure as hell isn't insecure anymore, maybe confused sometimes, maybe uncertain, certainly immature at times, but definitely not insecure. His family will prove to be the strength they both need. Excellent story and the romantic in me hopes that guy gets the girl..............
Hey....It is a fun story, I hope you keep it that way, enough other stuff on this site is total "downers", nice to just read a fun story and enjoy it. Thanks.
...at first but this story has completely sucked me in. I find your writing style captivating. If i had to nitpick my only complaint would be that a few times i was confused about who was talking. You don't use he said or she said often, and that is fine. It's your style, and most of the time i had no problem following. There were just a few places where the same person spoke twice and you gave the second one it's own paragraph, making me think the other person was talking. I read all seventeen chapters in one go, and can't wait to read more.
by
Anonymous09/08/10
Feedback on "Jeff and Ashley"
I have enjoyed your tale of teenage angst. I have enjoyed seeing the tables turned and each character experiencing some of what the other felt at some time or other. You've painted a very life-like picture with your story and I'd bet there's more to the development of the story-line, you've given us a life-like rendition! I've met some of these people/characters in my own journey through life! I applaud your mix of the story-line and the self-discovery of sex between this couple. You've painted a picture of pleasuring not simply fucking and I commend you for that! Keep up the good work. I look forward to the remaining chapters!
English
Fine story
But why not spend time on making yourself happy instead of making
someone else unhappy. I still think that the best revenge is living well!
Is Ashley really the nerd????
She seems to be turning into some sort nerd/semi nerd. Just maybe Jeff's revenge will turn into Ashley catching Jeff. She isn't dumb but probably because of her up bringing she's extremely insecure. Jeff sure as hell isn't insecure anymore, maybe confused sometimes, maybe uncertain, certainly immature at times, but definitely not insecure. His family will prove to be the strength they both need. Excellent story and the romantic in me hopes that guy gets the girl..............
Hey
Hey....It is a fun story, I hope you keep it that way, enough other stuff on this site is total "downers", nice to just read a fun story and enjoy it. Thanks.
I was skeptical...
...at first but this story has completely sucked me in. I find your writing style captivating. If i had to nitpick my only complaint would be that a few times i was confused about who was talking. You don't use he said or she said often, and that is fine. It's your style, and most of the time i had no problem following. There were just a few places where the same person spoke twice and you gave the second one it's own paragraph, making me think the other person was talking. I read all seventeen chapters in one go, and can't wait to read more.
Feedback on "Jeff and Ashley"
I have enjoyed your tale of teenage angst. I have enjoyed seeing the tables turned and each character experiencing some of what the other felt at some time or other. You've painted a very life-like picture with your story and I'd bet there's more to the development of the story-line, you've given us a life-like rendition! I've met some of these people/characters in my own journey through life! I applaud your mix of the story-line and the self-discovery of sex between this couple. You've painted a picture of pleasuring not simply fucking and I commend you for that! Keep up the good work. I look forward to the remaining chapters!
Dry opinion
Mature, psychological.
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