All Comments on 'Separate Vacations'

Loved the story. Loved the way it developed and the attention to detail.

I'm glad I just skipped to the end to see if it was a forced reconciliation pile of shit. If I'd have wasted 6 pages of reading time on this, I'd have been very cross.

I think it's pretty obvious how WWWM will end from your current body of work, though. So if anyone wants spoilers, there you go.

I won't finish WWWM. It apparently doesn't matter how much the male characters in your stories get hurt by their whoring wives, they ALWAYS wind up back together again, so I guess what I'm saying is what's the point of reading your stories, when we already know the end? You could argue that it's not all about the ending, that the journey is just as important, but then you realise all your stories are identical: wife does something stupid. Husband finds out and leaves. Wife does everything in her power to hurt husband even further. Husband forgives wife. The end.

And before all the asskisser's start the 'why don't you write a story bla bla bla' or 'if you don't like them, don't read his stories'. Well, I say to the first, I don't have to be a mechanic to know my beaten up, old piece of shit car is a beaten up, old piece of shit car just like I don't have to be a writer to know DQS' stories are crap. Don't get me wrong, he's an excellent storyteller, but his storylines are worse than bad. And, to the second I say, don't worry... I won't.

I really enjoyed this story. Your work continues to improve. Please don't stop writing. I check the site frequently to see if there has been another submission of your work.

Don't listen to the jerks that demean your work. I read every word and enjoyed it.

Thank you

Dide JPB fuck Angiequsophie and produce a child called .... DQS?

You are a very gifted writer. I will read anything you write, even advertisements. That said, you have introduced a large number of characters. I imagine some of those in this story have been in other stories of yours, or will be, but it doesn't really matter enough to look up. The thing that strikes me is that you are using the same basic characteristics, with slight tweaks over and over. All your male characters base a hell of a lot on the size of a woman's tits. That is not especially uncommon, but it is a very common theme of yours, along with women with very big tits frequenting your stories. God knows, I love big tits, and small tits, and every thing in between, but I also know they do not define the woman.

That brings us to cock size. You male characters either have big cocks, or wish they did. I just don't think that men or women obsess about cock size. We joke and tell an occasional story, but we men spend very little time worrying about our equipment pleasing a woman. We do worry about pleasing a woman, but not because of our cock size. If we manage to get that far, she should be pleased with us as a man, shouldn't she?

The plot was good, the story well written, and I had no trouble with the ending, even if the wife did a complete 180, not after ten years of marriage, but after two nights away from him the last time. It is just that you like to toss red herrings in the story to occupy space and time, but have no real purpose, like the Italian girl with the (guess what?) big tits. I imagine she is from another story, or will be in another story, but is this becoming a Kevin Bacon thing, with degrees of separation? What did she add to the story? You have few, if any equals, in your ability to show and create emotions and to deliver a great story. You just get carried away, a little, with your secondary character development and descriptions. Why did the wife have no underwear on at a business meeting with Vic.? I can count on one hand the woman that I have seen in public that not only had no panties on, but let me see enough to know! I have even been going to J-Ville lately with high hopes! Thanks so much for the work and for posting for us readers. You are a pleasure to read.

wow this is soo bad I cannot wait to rip it to shreds. The entire premise of Bruce's leaving and Divorce is that HE thought it was NOT a real marriage.

so when the EX WIFE pull a GUN on you and threatens to kill you if you say NO... how does that fix the problem?

of course She fucked steven on Vacation. Go back and re read what Tiffany says to Bruce. THis is a woman that calls him at WORK while she is fucking Steven .... months AFTER they divorce.

" For God's sake. I'm ashamed of you, Bruce, and I hate being ashamed of you."

"I'm going to leave your ass behind because I want to rub your nose in the fact that you've let me down, and you're letting your daughters down. I want you to develop some balls, go get a decent job and, for God's sake, let this adolescent dream of writing the Great American novel go to hell."

so naturally after your wife says then does that ... the only correct and reasonabel to do is RE MARRY?

Tiffany says she WANTS to fuck Steve and will do so on vacation and that he- Bruce- isnt a Man.

so.... natutally they RE MARRY?

even AFTER the Divorce she calls Bruce up as she is having sex with steven and destorying HIM.....

so they RE MARRY?

and of Course Bruce HAS to listen for 5 minutes for 10 minutes for 15 minutes...right?

so of course they RE MARRY?!??!?

then she Tracks him down two years later... and the FIRST thing she does is RIP into him... then this faggot wimp Bruce gets manipulated so easy?

wont you sit down?

wont you have one drink?

wont you take me home?

wont you give me 1 kiss?

wont you fuck me.

even when she stops she Grabs the KARATE master and Forces herself on HIM???

LOL... rotflol....

so they RE MARRY?

In very case Bruce collapses as if was JPB's daddy. All he has to do is says Bruce you are coward.

and Bruce cant say these words..... " I am not cowards... it is just that YOU are not worth showing any courage for. "

Finally she shows up with a GUN ....

so of course they RE MARRY?

Thanks for reaffirming your true colors. Its now clear how WWWM is going to conclude. Did you write this piece of trash to remain us of your proprnsity to destroy the self respect of your main male characters. This story has no redeeming literary value. You delayed posting 5A of WWWM to entertain us wirh this crap!!

Other readers were obviously correct in pointing out WWWM is simply a SOAP OPERA, in which each subsequent writter chapter is designed to boost your ego.

Congrads, this addition gets a scoring of “1,"

the story. As usual the story was well written and the plot carried to the end. It was the ending I suspected.

I truly feel that you purposely wrote this story at this time to smooth the ending for WWWM. Not to worry, it certainly carried a sense of foreboding, apprehension or a clear warning that we should "beware the ides of March". This story is also one of the best readership thinning agents I could think of. You were successful in my respect. I wish you luck in all your future endeavors.

VG

What wwere you thinking when you delayed the 5th chapter to an excellent story to publish this piece of junk; on the other hand, were you even thinking. You previous indicated this would be "a 30,000 word novelette or novella," but can you even count?

The great thing about fiction is it allows us to view the world from many points of view. She screwed me over and so I'm gonna torch the bitch is one view. She done me wrong, but she's really sorry and I think we can work it out is another. I like both kinds of stories if they're well written. DQS writes well.

If none of you noticed, his wife didn't want to divorce him, but couldn't commit herself to him. She didn't cheat on him while they were married. He always loved her, but left, for both their sakes. He couldn't live married, but not married, so he left. The only part that didn't ring true was when she was trying to get him back, after the games where she was trying to hurt him, she went on and on about how much she loved Steve's cock and loved fucking him. Hmmm. That would have sent me running out of the room. I would have thought that even if it was true, she wouldn't have wanted to hurt him and would have kept quiet.

but like WWWM more! Enjoy your writing style and use of words and images. Great techniques. Thanks!

Kudos all around for this one. I usually am too lazy to read beyond 3-4 pages of an essay but your masterpiece made me curious as to how you were going to tie this one up into a suitable ending. Thank you again..great work.

dude... it is OBVIOUS she cheated.

FIRST their "understanding" was that SHE paid for vacations HE paid for most of the daily ordinary bills.

She violated that agreement .... knowing that Bruce... or 95% of most men could NOT come up with $8000 in such short notice.

Saying that Bruce isnt a real man

But Stephen IS...

she WANTS to fuck Stephen

she WANTS to go on Vacation for 30 days with another man.

===================

Add it up = she did fuck him.

and why is that? Oh, she had him pay the mortgage and utilities because she loved him, refused to share her weath to motivate him to strieve harder, and humiliate him in front of friends and co-woprkers to indicate that she was serious. So now we should excuse her behavior and applaud her for trying to reconcile after treating him like shit. DQS1 never explained why

Tiffery had a change of heart about sharing. Could it be she could not find anoth sucker to behave as Bruce did before the divorce.

Please return to the planet you can from as you are notecome here.

You can take DQS1, with his belief in the power of BIG TITS AND BIG COCKS WITH YOU.

of comment from HDK. He is wise and fair.

A good story, but could be better.

Well you can write, that's for sure. You can write a wonderful story. That is not in dispute, at least I don't think so. However what I don't understand is how you can write a character such as Tiffany, who really hated her ex-husband so much she rubbed his nose in the fact that Stephen was bigger and better than him and worse phoned him while doing it.

Why didn't Bruce just disconnect each time? that's what I don't understand. But after two years of being apart they meet up have sex, great sex apparently, and now Tiffany wants to get marreid again? She has seen the light and she will be the model wife?

Forgive me if I a little sceptical. Anyway as far as stories go it was a good read and kept me reading until the end. But as HDK said I can see your characters in your other stories.

But most and foremost don't stop writing. Oh and if you write the next chapter of your on going saga I am sure many people would be grateful.

Enjoyed reading this story, as well as others you have posted. Keep up the good work.

weak hubby and fuck up wife.

your a very good writer but I didnt like this one very much

I like the story and found it credible. In terms of plot, I think Tiffany had a significant change of heart based on the realization that she was letting her dead beat dad ruin her life. I like the fact that Bruce got plenty of action whilst single and got to beat the daylights out of the other man (who deserved it). In terms of writing: well paced and well told story... DQS1 can <i>really </i> write.

The characters had real problems and I do not think that I dare comment much about Bruce's behaviour---------- before the Hawai vacation......, my monniker would make to easy...... He really should have quit before marrying her.

One detail, is that I read two pages and jumped to the commentaries. From the commentaries I almost decided to quit reading the story.. I am a bit tired of forced reconciliation, but since we are dealing with a good writer, I went on and enjoyed. The reconciliation does not work if you are against reconciliation, basically she gave him everything he wanted, surrendered completely and he never did stop loving her. She should have given him the gun to hold for her...

The writing was up to your usual standard. Emotionally, I bought into the story. I'm a retribution and reconciliation type reader so the ending worked for me. BUT <P>

It seems kind of template or cookie cutter. The wife who humiliates her husband publicly and verbally, the big cocked lover, and she doesn't cheat until the marriage is over, sound familar? It wasn't a stretch for you. You said you wrote "The Last Goodbye" for yourself, you didn't care if you got lambasted. Time to get over it and do something extraordinary with your writing skills. <P>

Personal aside to Gary: Surprised to see a signed comment by you, it's been a long time. I hope all is well with you. <P>

Jennybear

with some of the comments saying that all your stories are and end the same. There have been a couple that there was no reconnecting by the wife and husband. Those stories have plainly said that sometimes love is not enough.

Anyway I liked the story and could understand the characters actions. Remember folks, when emotion is involved people don't act rationally. Besides it's only a story.

its more of a romance than loving wife, but who cares. love it. thanks!

This emasculating bitch of a writer continues to portray men as clueless, mindless, wimps who not only tolerate unbelievable humiliation, but invariably reconcile their small "penised" self with the cheating size queen slut wife. Like many women, this author believes that knowing how to fight somehow makes a man not a wimp. I'm sure if she had ever dated a real man, she would realize there is a whole world full perfectly normal (non needy/wimp) men out there who don't know some kind of martial art, or own a gun, or fight, who wouldn't tolerate this kind female head game bull crap for six minutes, let alone for six pages. It is this kind of sick portrayal of men that delude women into fantasizing that they can be as nasty as they want to be and all they got to do is spread their legs to bring the non-man back into the fold(s). The fact that this writer writes so well only serves to make her stories that much more dismal and disturbing, and thus forces me to write long diatribes of vitriolic rhetoric in a futile attempt to balance the scales of good over this truly evil bitch writer.

What I have a problem with is that she still felt that he was going to cheat on her. I saw nothing in the story that indicated that he ever cheated during the marriage. She fucked up the marriage, and her little grandstand at the end didn't ake me feel that she was a changed woman, but that she would say anything to get what she wanted.

I would still want to be as far away from the bitch as possible.

A very nice story and maybe you needed to take a break from "when..." but please keep your promise from the beginning and get back to the best story on Lit at this time.

She has not changed a damned bit and he's a fool. The gun says it all, she still doesn't trust him and the fact that he's successful now is the only reason she's willing to try again. He should run as far away from this deranged cheating bitch whore as fast as he can. No MAN in his right mind would have her even near him.

HDK's comments were spot on, however I liked the story and the emotions displayed by the two parties.

Please keep writing, with the feedback and practice your writing will get even better.

I made a comment about "Dream Wife" essentially calling DQS1 Lit's version of John Grisham. My opinion hasn't changed. This is the most misogynistic POS since, well, When We Were Married.

You really like neither males or females, do you?

In this story I see bits and pieces of two people who are not communicating well at all. The wife has issues with the asshole way her father treated her mother... and her mother had issues even worse. The husband couldn't seem to bring out what exactly bothered him until he walked out and filed for divorce.

The husband, being a 'writer' should have been able to some way, some how bring out his thoughts and tell his wife what the real reason was before they divorced. They should have both gone to counseling and she should have had extra counseling due to her history.

I've worked with guys (and gals) who are married and have a similar arrangement with their money in that what's hers is hers and his is his... but they also helped each other, spent money on each other and split living expenses evenly too. That's being human... or natural. If one loves someone they want to share... even if they insist on the logical process of monetary separation.

Look at me... I'm discussing the characters... not the writing. My bad.

This story is well written and believable as I've seen some people that fit the characters lives to a tee. Thank you for sharing your talents and bring out more for our perusal...please.

C2C

And in most of your stories you create characters that speak to me and reflect a reality that I can respect.

In THIS story, however, you have fallen far short. I absolutely cannot abide a protagonist that allows himself to be shit upon, not once but for YEARS. Then when he crosses the "bridge" to a new life, the raving bitch he had as a wife effectively BURNS the bridge. In effect, she buried him then covered him in her shit with his eyes and mouth open and facing UP so she can see him EAT her shit.

No, NO, NO GOD DAMN it he just cannot, cannot take the cunt back. She has NOT changed, she just LOST and once she's got him back the shit will flow again.

NO reconciliation when the abuse had been this bad for so long.

The wife in this story treated the husband like garbage consistently during the "marriage" and afterwards. I use the term "marriage" with caution because it didn't look like a real marriage to me, it looked more like an arrangement to suit the convenience of the wealthy wife.

He finally has enough and grows the balls to leave this "marriage" and the wife's behaviour in terms of mocking, belittling and humiliating the husband gets even worse. I mean, what's with the repeated phone calls to the husband while she's having sex with her lover?

It seems to me the wife was a control freak and wanted everything her way, and when the husband didn't go along she got even nastier.

She kept protesting that she didn't want him to own her. But what was really happening was that the wife thought that she could (and did) own the husband.

Despite what she says to him - it's clear that she only was interested in him again after he became successful in his career. Even then, in their "business meeting" or "date" or whatever, she continues her put-downs constantly.

I thought the story had some prospects of being a good story until the final scene. But sadly (for I am a fan of DQS1 stories), the last scene had no credibility whatsoever.

Let's look at that last scene...

He finally moves on and starts dating again...

She turns up at his birthday party completely unexpected, after he's made it clear they have no future...

At the party, again completely out of left field, she begs him to marry her again...

The proposal includes her pulling out a gun and threatening to shoot him if he's ever unfaithful (he never has been)...

Of course, she promises to be good in the future...

And he, despite everything that's happened until now, says "OK" and promises his undying love for life.

It is just not believable.

There is simply no basis for this reconciliation. It's a complete 180-degree turnaround from where the story was going without any reason why.

It almost seems like the ending from a different story was tacked onto this one. It is forced and it doesn't work.

I have some other problems with this story.

The issue is not his fidelity, it's hers. Even if the wife never had full-on sex with her lover during the marriage, she was still being unfaithful to her husband with the way she carried on with the other man.

Furthermore, even if the husband couldn't afford to pay a good lawyer up front, I can't believe that with no pre-nup and a $4,000,000 asset pool, he wouldn't find a good lawyer who'd act on a contingency fee basis.

Finally, where I come from, for the wife's lawyer to speak to the husband directly, to "pump" him for information, knowing the husband had his own lawyer (his lawyer's name would be on the divorce application) would be a serious breach of ethics such that a formal disciplinary action could be taken.

I was very disappointed with the story, especially the ending, and (sadly) it has diminished my (until now, very great) respect for DQS1 as a storyteller.

Sometimes I think the lines between fiction and non-fiction blur a little for some of your readers 'round these parts. Or to take an alliterative swipe at it:

Lemmings of a literal leaning lack the latitude to let go of their lexically languid...oh fuck it.

Loved the story, found it very entertaining, although the ending seemed rather abrupt (the gun thing was...different.) Do they get back together - probably. Will their issues be resolved - not likely (even with a lot of counseling.) Chances of happily ever after - maybe 1 out of 4.

Maybe its a left coast thing but Double D's and 97th percentile erections do seem to carry the day. And yet even out here flat-chested women and men with breakfast sausage sized dicks seem to find a way to go on with life, quite happily too.

I don't understand the confusion nor the vitriol regarding DSQ1's reconciliation themes. Its what he does (mostly, not always), some may be a stretch, but I've seen crazier reconciliations in real life.

So keep on writing me amigo and reconcile (couldn't resist) with yourself that you can't please all of your readers all the time but you sure as hell can find a way to generate the most comments. Damn you.

Good stuff !! thanks for the great read as usual!!! I'm gonna go up stairs right soon and screw my girl with the dragon tattoo in the shower! Thanks for the extra inspiration.

Yeah this is pretty bad. Why? Because the premise as set by the AUTHOR is violated ... not by the readers but by the author himself.

The story opens with a marriage operating on set and agreed upon rules. Many marriages have separate checking savings accounts. But her demand that bruce suddenly on no notice come up with $8000 is a scheme as Harry points out.

But it gets worse... she openly admits that she WANTS to fuck this others guy... and bruce is not a real man.

Bruce walks because of the manipulation. He realizes that Tiffany thinks he has to accept this.

THAT reaction by Bruce kills the story. Everything tiffany does after that is another scheme or ploy to get bruce back.

Bruce should be getting more angry and more resolute.

This is basic story telling 101 people.

And for the record I too am thinking about giving up on WHEN WE WERE MARRIED.

I loved reading through all the comments and laughed out loud as most went nuts over your characters and their behaviors...you make these characters so real these folks are spasming in anger and their hearts and brains are bursting from emotion....from your writing....

Yes, HDK got it right, but hey, I'm glad to get a quickie while waiting for you to post another segment of WWWM. I know each and every one of these commenters were as excited as I when I saw this new posting, and I was thrilled to learn it was a stand-alone piece (so I don't have to wait again). Ok, some can't accept that true love is real and will conquer all...so what, I enjoyed it. Write another one...end it by tossing the bitch out. I bet you still get the same quantity of comments. They may hate your outline, but they love your writing, and want more.

As a wordsmith DQS is strong. His story flows well, and he does seem to understand how to create emotion.

As a plot writer with imagination I hate to say DQS is still in grade school.

HDK had some valid points about the repetitive nature of DQS storylines. He's attempted to force a reconcilliation every time. His female characters have usually had big tits. Office cheating is endeminc and there's always the man with the big johnson who gets the entire office and all their friends to drop their panties simply by breathing on the ladies.

Its cookie cutter writing. And it comes out in some obvious ways.

Read all of the stories DQS has posted here. The "wife" almost always demeans the man, sometimes to an extreme, but the man just takes it. This story is a wonderful example. Tiffany keeps telling Bruce he's a coward for walking away, and of course, he's such a weak-willed pussy he stops and lets her win. The funny thing is that its greater cowardice to that rather than to keep walking and the man who refused counseling in front of a judge would never be that wimpy. If he was going to fold years later to Tiffany when she taunted him, why didn't she fold when the judge threatened him with 6 months jail time.

The emotional development is good, but the characters are cardboard.

DQS, I have no clue what your goal is in the writing, but you need to take a deeper look at your characters. Why are your men so easily manipulated, and why are the women oversexed bitches. There are always going to be some readers who say your write great stories, but the truth is you really have written a bunch of variations on the same story and they aren't that interesting after a while.

And as I've already said WWWM is even worse than this when it comes to the flat characters.

Many people, myself included, apparently love DQS1's writing. Many other's apparently hate it and yet at the same time they keep reading it. Some even restort to name calling, I guess because they don't have the mental capacity to critisize the writing so the denigrate the writer.

First lets take those of us who love the stories. Some may offer a critical review of the story but it's offered because they care about the writer and the story. They want to help the story be it's best and help the author succeed. In other words, they offer back for free ideas for a story they have been given for free.

Then there are those who hate the story and yet cannot seem to stop themselves from reading it and venting but without anything constructive. My only guess is that some of these are the victims of tough divorces/cheating wives and by reading these stories, it's the only way they can keep their anger burning. They transpose themselves into the stories and fuel their internal fires against the one that done them wrong. It's either that or they are true critics. And we all know that a critic is someone who creates nothing and therefore feels qualified to judge the artistic creations of others. Some of the brave ones include their user name, some don't have enough nerve and use Anonymous.

Finally lets look at the cowards. They are the ones who hide behind the Anonymous tag and call the writer names such as SOB and dribble nothing out of their slack jaws except vitrol. Generally this is the type of person would hide in the jungle or the mountains until the battle is over before they heroically show up to shoot the wounded. They are trolls and should be ignored.

Now let me say this about "Seperate Vacations." First I actually knew and worked in Jacksonville with someone like Tiffany. She held a very good job (not as good as Tiffany's) and her husband was model along with being a life guard at Jax Beach. In other words a beach bum. Their life was very close to what was portrayed here. She drove a nice car, he drove a clunker. When they went on vacation, it was where she wanted to go since she was paying. Now to the story itself. I did enjoy this, I'll give it 4 stars and to me the only thing that kept it from getting 5 stars is a sense of being rushed. I'm not talking about the charactors, I'm talking about the production of the story over all. DQS1 has to balance demand against production and I really thing this one could have benifitted from an editor or at least one more reading/rewrite. But the vultures would have circled lower and the meat eaters would have growled more if they had to wait more days for something else to read and enjoy or read and lambast as the case may be.

DQS! let me say GOOD JOB (and if you ever want a couple of cute JSO stories, give me a shout. I know a couple of doozies. Plus, ignore the cowards.

CW

You have some very serious fans: GaryAPB, Harddaysknight, Average_writer, curious2c, etc. Your audience and their desire to comment is significant approval of your talent. Some are really upset because the husband reconciles with the wife. Some see the man characters as inconsistent because of this reconciliation. I disagree. Remorse can beget foregiveness in a relationship of love. Contrition and pennance are the outward and visible signs of inner truth. I see Tiffany's separation of her assets as a metaphor for her inability to totally commit. She grows enough to achieve the humility necessary for true commitment. Her vacation, her lover, her behaviors are stages of denial, anger, grief, mourning, acceptance and growth. He totally commits before she does and pays the price. The one who cares the least, loses the least. Apparently she did care, but she had to discover it. And that discovery led her commitment which will eventually allow her to be happy. The side stories and characters in their lives reveal them to the reader.

DQS seems to have a thing for surprise endings. His female leads all appear to be evil bitches to various degrees at first glance. Those ladies all are high-spirited and their emotions activate their rather sever foot-in-mouth diseases. He gives us enough of a glimpse of their real character -- if the reader is awake and willing to look -- to make the ending believable. By believable I mean not totally irrational.

<space>

I'm seeing a pattern with DQS stories. His characters are often caricatures of real people. Emotions and actions are over the top as well as the tits and dicks. This makes for difficult reconcilliations.

<space>

I'm taking the characters with a grain of salt -- huge tits and dicks and all.

<space>

One last comment. She didn't cheat in Hawaii. Her hints that she might were part of her ploy to "shape up" Bruce. The kissing that one night looked bad but she was out with a lot of people. I can see that happening just like she said it did; what's-his-name was being a jerk and stole a kiss. No cheating there.

Does he have to? I've read several of your other stories and I see that reconciliation seems to be a major theme, even after infidelity. Personally I think that infidelity in any form is the worst thing someone can do to their spouse. It is the ultimate betrayal. However, it barely affects several of your characters, including the husband in this story. He pretty much dismisses it as being a problem at all for him to get over. I really enjoy your writing, and would like to see a few other stories where the husband does not so readily dismiss infidelity. I would like to see him move in to someone else.

I like to read your stories, and I would appreciate it if you would consider my story request.

One fairly common idea I have noticed with the LW genre is that male pride and or ego is portrayed as a bad thing. It is referred to has not letting a man do something or getting in the way. In fact, when all is said and done all a man (worthy of the title man as opposed to a mere male) has is pride.

I would contend that a man without pride is not worthy of love.

``Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride -- where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.''

Pride and Prejudice

The writer has talent but lacks reality. He convolutes to emotionalize the readers who he cares little for.<P>

One day soon he will realize as most of us have done as a teenager that reality and consequence are a daily result of life.<P>

Bending and twisting characters beyond reality with pretty words and talented paragraphs still leaves a skeleton without believable tangible substance.<P>

Perhaps someday the writer will discount the many comments glorifying his words and realize the hollowness of his efforts.<P>

A jealous of other man, her wife benn giving attention is also consider bad thing, i dont understand they always ignore the fact why, as soon as word Jealous word is applicable, they deny everything but the fact that he is jealous, Yes Jealousy is bad but where it is not should be, like man jealous of kids because they got more attention from his wife, it is invalid, motherly love cannot exceed/lack wifely love, because their is no connection. But with other man it is, it should be sign of care and love, when you marry, you own your spouse, he/she owns you, infact husband's pride is wife's pride.

Sometimes I think are those cultures or coutries are better where there are more restrictions on woman, atleast they consider pride/ego to be shared between both husband and wife, if wife is slut it reflects to husband, if hubby is spineless he is failure to his wife, A spouse is supposed to own your body as well as your pride/ego.

I thoroughly enjoy your writing style and your ability to manage the tone of the story. You are undoubtedly a gifted writer.

Money is all too rare a central focus of the marital dispute in stories of this type. In the Loving Wives category the main conflict usually revolves around infidelity or sexual incompatibility, but rarely money. Yet we know that money is the cause of most arguments in the marriage. So for giving us a conflict based on different views of money management I applaud you.

If you were going to use money as a lever why not have the husband claim his share of the marital assets in the divorce? If he was so focused on hurting his wife a move on her assets would have made that point so much better than merely leaving his ring on the divorce documents.

Is there some unwritten rule that says that the men are less manly when they go for their fare share of their wives’ assets in the divorce? Even when the men in these stories have custody after the divorce they always refuse to seek child support.

You husband in this story wanted to share in his wife’s success but only if she offered it freely. His hands could not be seen reaching for the cash. She had to offer it herself. She was right, he was a coward.

I mentioned the tone of your story because at the end all I felt was the need to take a deep breath. You rushed to an ending. Even so, the reconciliation seemed appropriate to the story given that these two people seemed hopelessly codependent. Their flaws were a template for all of the other characters.

Was there any person of substance in this story? All the characters, save the husband and children, seemed vacuous to me, without soul or heart. We read too much of their weaknesses. For instance, not one wife: not Tiffany, nor her mother, nor Candy, nor Hank’s wife, saw value in fidelity. Are all women inherently unfaithful?

Like I said, forgetting the husband and children, I couldn’t find a likable character.

P.S. How many young girls have their first menstrual cycle at ten or eleven years of age?

Sorry Harry et. al, I could buy this ending just fine and was hoping for it. Oh, sure I'd be cynical in real life about her "not cheating" in Hawaii or the late night calls of desperate bragging killing the man's love but it works for me in this story given the wife's setup/history.

I've grown bored with DQS's long soap opera novel with the angel of death but this one I really enjoyed.

-Hexxx

Your stories always get a lot of comment and that is a good thing. I can't say I liked this one as well as WWWM (so far), but it had emotion and at times I hated both of them for being idiots. It was a bit unrealistic, but people can be very hard headed and who know if there are not two people out there who fit the story to a T.

One thing is for certain and that is I will always read one of your stories.

Great job of writing as usual, but the thing that is more important than sentence structure is you finally let the toons win. Life doesn't always hand out happy endings but from time to time... Wonderful for you to see fit to make that happen... Now about WWWM...

Fantastic story, so smooth, and well written. A great job of editing made reading the work a pleasure.

Dude, you're a busy writer, with this story and writing " When we were married."

Thanks for this great story.

Makes no difference if she did or did not in Hawaii.

Its the perception she left while out with the big dicked one.

What you perceive is what you believe and if you believe she cheated then she did PERIOD

I gave you a 5. I loved, LOVED the story, but I hate the end. That woman just couldn't deserve him back.

Best thing is, you get to choose, since you took the trouble to write it and so you did, choose.

There were a few rough spots in the story where it was difficult to read what you were fumbling with. But, they didn't detract from the overall quality of work and though I started at just after midnight and it is now 3am, I am glad I stayed up and read this.

Good job. Keep writing.

I don't know how anyone with a brain could read this story and not be moved by it. This was a tortured soul, scarred by her past, who finally came to her senses and regained what she need most in her life. I'm almost always of the opinion that a cheating bitch should be kicked to the curb. This was simply not the kind of story that called for that kind of action.

Thanks for the great diversion. Now let us continue to enjoy WWWM.

I really liked the story. You have a way of making me, well, not believe the unbelievable, but enjoy reading about it. I've skimmed the responses and to those who didn't like the ending because it seemed unlikely, well how about the marriage itself. Has anybody ever heard of such a thing. You are kind of like Slirpuff of steroids. Slirpuff manages to take simple missunderstandings and turn them into the stuff of divorce and also pretty interesting dialogue along the way. You take incredibly over the top problems and characters turn them into the stuff of violence, mayhem and divorce, and in the process create some pretty interesting and fun stories. I also like how you always leave room for doubt about your female characters. I assume this is to give us all something to talk about, but it also seems like the closest thing to real life in your stories. We all trust our wives because we do. And as far as this story goes, no one, not even Harry with his higher level math skills, really knows what the hell she did on that Hawaiian vacation. I don't think this story was about cheating in any case, it was about a guy who made a ridiculous mistake by agreeing to his wife's insane demands at the beginning of their marriage instead of telling her to get into therapy or I'll divorce your ass. But it's really just a hoot isn't it? I mean, she's holding a 38 on him and he agrees to marry her, OK, well I would to, until she turned her back, then I'd be out the door and on the way out of town, but this reality is more like Malcolm in the middle reality. But what can I say, just like that show, it's fun. And HDK, really, you have a problem with a universe filled with hot women with giant breasts obsessed with giant cocks. Really? Am I the only person here who reads outside of this genre? Try Evil Alpaca, much more fun than 99 percent of anything in this genre, though his or her giant breasted women are more interested in other women with giant breasts than in the numerous giant cocks floating by. A good story is a good story. It doesn't have to have a moral. It can just be a fun ride. And this, like everything I've read from you so far, was an e ticket.

Bruce is a spineless wimp and Tiffany is a cold bitch. How he could consider taking her back tells me he deserves to be mind fucked.

The gun proves she is crazy. Sane people do not brandish guns at public birthday parties. That equals custody of the kids. The phone call would have killed any love that he had for her. Only in Matt M. world would he take her back. Can anyone say KARATE? DSQ=Matt M.

Ol wayne wrote...amazingly... " who finally came to her senses and regained what she need most in her life...."

Dude bringing a GUN to a birthday party and threatening to kill him if he says no to her marriage propsoal is NOT coming to her senses. Get your head out of your ass Moron.

This issue is NOT whether she did or did not fuck Stephen in Hawaii for a month... although that is PART of it.

She INTENTIONALLY set this up .

She broke the marriage rules that she pays for the vacation.

She KNEW bruce could not come up $8000

She KNEW bruce would Have to Put up with her going away with Stephen for a month

The rest of this viole piece of crap is just shit piled upon shit

I read most of your work and enjoy the stories. Most of the people who comment are either are only superficial,, they look at their own pleasuse and not what goes on behind the scenes. They don't realize how much work really going to creating these epics. Weither a person likes or dislikes your characters, they don't realize how much thought goes into creating them.

Of course as we both know there are really two types of readers in this section, the "Burn the Bitch"crowd and the reconcilation bunch. I like to tweak their noses once in a while just to listen to them yell. It seems that they forget this is fiction and we write for the fun of it, not for profit.

If they want a perfect story, buy on at a bookstore that hits the bestseller lists. For the rest of us, we just enjoy your work.

Keep up the good work!

Mendon

This man is simply unbelieveble, not a true wimp, but a total spinless mollusk like most of DanielQSteele1 male personalities. I was folllowing the "When we were married" saga, but i'm presently wandering if it is worth to continue reading it.

both of them, at least by getting back together they spare the rest of the planet from their insanity

My first reaction to the ending was finally the husband gets to reconcile on his terms. Finally the woman sees the error in her thinking and behavior and is trying to change. I did sense her remorse was real. But I would have make one more demand before accepting the marriage proposal... If she ever cheats or humilates him again, He will not shoot to maim like she threatened, but to kill. Two can play that game....

DSQ, I really love you writing style and how you paint pictures in our minds so vividly we get drawn into the story with deep heart-felt passion. I hope you think seriously about trying to publish your work. While I may not always like the endings, you have the talent.

Side note: GaryAPB, I love your work too. I hope you have some more stories coming. I loved "Back in Bristol." The interaction and dialogue was excellent.

From some place I don't understand you come up with these great compelling stories. Really really good.

Now get back to work and finish WWWM.

Great story and truer than most that you read, while managing to stay pretty gripping.

Looking forward to everything else you write.

I really don't have time for this seven pages this morning, but I had no choice but to make time. You do write a hell of a good story DQS1 and I am glad I took the time.

This one has a clear and crisp finality to it. Are there uncertainties and questions about the two main characters? Of course, as should be! Is there a bit of unbelievable how did we get here in the end? Damn straight, as Sinatra said, "That's Life!"

Momma was a bitch, daughters learn a lot from their mothers. Seems like Tiffany taught Bruce a bit about life along the way, again that is an as it should be way of looking at life and telling a very good story about the life one sees in the mirror.

Some of your readers might object to your interlude in hthe WWWM stream, but that is one thing I can understand completely. Sometimes a step back and quick stroll down an interesting path can be very productive. In this case it certainly has.

You say, "Makes no difference if she did or did not in Hawaii. Its the perception she left while out with the big dicked one. What you perceive is what you believe and if you believe she cheated then she did PERIOD."

<space>

What if she cheats and cheats and cheats and you believe she didn't, does that make any difference? Is it OK to cheat if your spouse never finds out? After all you say it's the perception that counts.

<space>

Back to perceived cheating that doesn't happen. My first wife "perceived" that I was cheating and I wasn't. She went through our marriage treating me like I was a cheater. Want to guess how this turned out? I got tired of love and sex being withheld and surprise, surprise, I went out and cheated. We divorced over that and other differences. It was too bad for our children that her perception was that I cheated.

You just never miss do you ? Gave it a top score .....

I look around the comments that people make on your stories and I see the names of some of my other favorite Literotica authors: e.g. HDK, Ohio (actually saw his comment on another of your stories), Curious2C, Woodmanone, GaryAPB, Average_Writer, to name a few. I apologize for mentioning other authors while commenting on your work. But to me that is the best validation that I can see to indicate that you know how to put together a very good story. One of the other posters on this story said that they were a "retribution and reconciliation" type of reader. I guess that I fall into the same category. Here, I thought the reconciliation worked. In your "The Dream Wife", I thought the story would have been perfect if it had ended as the husband left his second wife's office after telling her she could have the divorce and also that she had his blessing to go and fuck Frank. The reconciliation didn't work for me in that story. My point is, please continue to write the stories that you want to write. You are taking some shots from the "burn the bitch" crowd. Please do not answer back by going down the path of forcing a "never a reconciliation at any cost" to keep everyone happy on your next story.

You write very good and entertaining stories that are fun to read. Personally, and no offense, but WWWM has worn me down. I'll probably pick it back up when you get it finished. A reconciliation there is difficult to imagine between Bill and Debbie but it is your story.

I appreciate your work and I hope that you keep writing.

Oh and one last thing: I read "I don't know where it has been" both parts by myiionu. I enjoyed it. I for one wouldn't mind reading your take on a continuation of that story if the other author approved it. I bet that you could work with those two main characters and give us another entertaining read.

I had the feeling that Bruce was her only real love from the night they met. Having separate bank accounts, taking separate vacations, living, in part, separate lives is not something that would be popular with any woman or man. Once Tiff got past what her mother had done in response to her husband, Tiff and Bruce got back together as would be expected by most readers. Of course, this story is not WWWM, an unquestioned best among the very best. But "Separate Vacations" does stand alone as a fine piece of writing.

I seldom comment on stories here, just once in awhile one strikes something in me.

Perhaps jealously since I pretend to write myself?..lol

This has some powerful emotions, a male character that is at best overly stubborn? Beyond any reasonably understanding stubborn. Add in a female character that is at best very completely screwed up?

Of course it is a war.

Can these two now live, ever after happy?

Naw. Not in a real world, some things just cannot be taken back. It will continue, always be war.

It rates a "5" from this old man, not something I give out lightly.

Thanks,

MGM

PHIL... you are doing it again. You are taking the story out of context.

in the Technical sense it does matter if Tiffany did cheat with Stephen in hawaii over the 30 days. So I do NOT agree with Vietvet per se.

But

go back to the " conversation".... where she gave bruce the Ultimatium. Look at what she said... read the HATE in her Words... read her disgust with Bruce as a MAN as a husband and as a provider.... read how she OPENLY talked about WANTING to Fuck Stephen.

***Given all that do you BELIEVE her assertion that she did not ?***

Even if she did NOT isnt it clear that Tiffany is so ashamed of bruce -- her words not mine-- that she does Not want to be married to Bruce anymore?

I've really got to hand it to you: you are a very good writer. I really enjoyed this read. I need no further reason to give a five star rating. This story gave me a little vacation. Thanks.

As usual, and as already repeatedly noted, DQS is one of the best writers going in terms of both quality of the written word and putting his readers through the emotional roller coaster. Yet again, that was done well here and is The Good.

The Bad? A few things. First, despite what Size14 and HarryinVA say (swear to God, I'd love to sip a beer at a table with the two of you while you went at each other's throats; your's has to be one of the best ongoing feuds in the commentary section and always brings a smile to my face), I think VietVet hit it right on the head: It doesn't really matter if she cheated where the perception was not only there, but actually reinforced by her words and actions. Size14, in response to this, raises the false analogy that, conversely, cheating is okay if they don't get caught. No, it's not okay. Likewise, it's not okay to--as Tiffany did here--tell your husband about rubbing Stephen's monster cock, getting thrilled by it, threatening to actually bang Stephen, going on a monthlong vacation with Stephen while intentionally excluding your husband, then again putting yourself in a position where Stephen can, at the very least, kiss you enough to severely smear your makeup. HarryinVa and Size14 thus miss the point in their argument about whether she was unfaithful (though I agree Harry hit her words and actions right on the head). Who gives a fuck if she actually banged Stephen? The complete and utter lack of respect to her husband shown by Tiffany's words, threats, belittling, and other actions are far worse than if she'd just banged Stephen once. And Tiffany's entire attitude at the beginning of the story was a clear indication that this marriage suffered terminal cancer regardless of whether she'd been unfaithful. Frankly, can any of us, man or woman, say we'd tolerate such incredible disrespect from our spouse regardless of whether they'd cheated.

Another Good. Salamis also hit on the head a point that needs expanding: It's nice to see a marriage in the LW section break up over something OTHER than the wife being a slut, in need of bigger cocks, needing to seek revenge, and so on. In other words, DQS should be applauded by taking another original spin on the root causes of divorce.

Another Ugly. Another theme repeatedly echoed in the commentaries: Why do the characters have to go so incredibly overboard during or after the divorce? Granted, I have no problem with this if the theme is revenge or the bitterness of divorce. It is just too much to swallow, though, when the theme is reconciliation. I mean, really, would anyone have taken Tiffany back after she--not once, but repeatedly--called Bruce while she was banging her new lover? Or after Bruce and Tiffany got back together again and she told him post coitus that Stephen's big cock really did it for her?

Final Ugly is the .38 Caliber Pistol. I can only echo the comments that point out that Tiffany, by bringing and waving the gun and uttering her threat about using it, really hasn't grown at all. She's still convinced men are all like her father, and Bruce is a man. Ergo, he's like her father and will, in her mind at least, eventually stray and prove what a piece of shit she always knew he was.

All told, another thrilling emotional roller coaster from the master who's been keeping us all riveted all summer. Say what you will, but any writer who garners so many comments has a readership who know what they're getting and know it's going to make them ecstatic/piss them off/leave them emotionally drained, and we all keep coming back for more. God knows I will be tuning in to DQS's next one!

As others have said, the writing is technically very good - the plot is just another "man-hater episode". The brain-less idiot shoe is busy trying to convince everyone [once again] that this manipulating slut is another saint-debbie in disguise. Predictable as usual.

to be emasculating whores like their mother and grandmother, a sad family tradition

My biggest problem with this piece is the out of left field nature of the end. She suddenly gets it? No struggle at understanding. It just comes from the gods. However as usual the writing is very good, just implausible.

Excellent writing. Good story, but...................It still felt like a chapter or dry run for your mullti-chapter creation.

Keep up the great work but try doing something else.......like something other than LW.

I feel the need to know more about her epiphany to be able to buy it. The way it ended left out important bits that make it hard to believe her change of heart was real.

Come on, how could this guy look in the mirror to shave after his wife walks off with his balls? What kind of an example is this for his daughters? Give the poor sod some dignity!

I agree with most of the other posters in that these characters were caricatures of real people, but close enough that you felt for them, especially Bruce. I also agree that the ending was way too fast and, really, not believable. Tiffany had too much baggage to really 'get it' in that short a time.

However, unlike the other commentors I believe that some day Bruce will be seen with Candy, or some other big titted woman and he'll be found in an alley with two bullets in his chest and one between the eyes. Tiffany has made a compromise to get what she wants, Bruce, but she's not 'down for the struggle'. Bruce is on borrowed time until she feels he's cheated on her, like her father did. After all, Marge is still there, feeding Tiffany her own brand of vitriol. Does anyone really think Tiffany is going to ignore Mom? I don't.

I believe it is a sign of this author's talent that his readers believe these people could be real. We WANT Bruce to be happy. We WANT to believe he'd tell Tiffany off and are disappointed when he doesn't. Love makes people, men especially, do stupid things and Bruce has done some of the stupidest, but that's okay.

I haven't started WWWM yet as I don't read incomplete stories, my personal bias. I have to admit that I'm intrigued based on the comments, good and bad, that I've read here. Please keep writing and, as others have said, you can't please everyone so you got to please yourself. Apologies to Ricky Nelson.

At first I thought what a guless wimp he was to take her back, But when you think about it she is the one who swallowed her pride and ended up grovelling to him and giving him everything he wanted. I think there is no doubt she really loves him.

There is no doubt that you are a good writer. But after reading your stuff I have to ask, where do you get all these fem-nazi women from that you write about? all of them seem to be this strong, independent female with an identity crisis. Also, the guys are so Alan Alda I want to throw up. having lived in FLA, I have to admit though that most woment there are just like that. lol!

And the situations which are very realistic seem to just have such contrived endings. I can say I do not know one, not one, man who would go back to the life Bruce had nor to the woman he had, especially after a 2 year separation. And that's my main problem with all of DSQ!'s writing. It very touchie, feelie, angst filled pablum. Well written pablum but pablum none the less. Get some grit in those paragraphs! LOL!

But, as always I enjoyed it.

Keep up the good work

Very Respectfully,

Chagrined

I actually treated this as a story to be read and, likely, enjoyed. Because of that I did enjoy it because it was well written.

Bruce knew he had to grow a pair, and keep them intact, because otherwise there would never be a reconciliation – nothing less than his own ideals of marriage would do for him. Despite her ‘coitus uninterruptus’ phone calls even Biggus Dickus realized the writing would always be on the wall for him and anyone else but Brucie-baby, because despite everything and whatever she’s done Bruce is her love.

One of the excellent “rpsuch” stories contained the simple but memorable line - “there’s no such thing as a slow epiphany”. I think the inference here is she had that after her last night with Bruce. At least that’s what’s hinted at. That’s when she caved and agreed to his terms because she finally got it. Whatever went on before that is a moot point - I really don’t care to argue over it so won’t. I read for me and I comment for me, just like everyone else.

I think the ending (for its emotional touch if not its absolute realism) is the best one DQS1 has given us.

SO, they all lived happily ever after and Bruce founded the North Florida Testicle Fortitude Institute. It’s rumored that his circumferentially-unchallenged tackle has given him the, well, balls to email DQS1 with possible endings for a certain unfinished story. It’s only a rumor mind!

Why author are all your stories basically the same plot-line shit as JPB's except you embellish the stupidest attributes of your characters?

after emotion, raw stressfull and intense heartbreaking emotion from the readers soul comes the peaceful almost content sigh. Love the guy. He was right from the beginning and she finally knew it!

Then anonymous assholes shit will pour out (shit comes from assholes)!

But it still will be a great story and we will still wait for your next.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Sometimes reading the comments is as entertaining as reading the story.

A lot of you guys crack me up carrying on about how its rubbish and the author sucks ....

But next story and/or chapter ...your back for more. Its like a soap opera about a soap opera.

but the lengths you went through to arrive there is simply not credible. Given the disparities in income Bruce was a serf in his own home for 9 years. She forces them to move to a million dollar home and he has to pay for it? She agrees to a month long vacation with the kids without his prior approval? Bruce was not living in a home but a Gulag. It is not the money but the decisions that were made by her using her money without any consideration for him. Everytime they went out she would be lording over him using her money. Everytime she would buy something for the kids you would be putting him down. The way she was treating him there is no way this marriage would have lasted 3 years let alone 9. Lastly, what got me was her last public display of disrespect. He had never been unfaithful to her but she promises to blow his balls off if he cheats? He left the marriage with nothing and she is worried about being his property? The fact that she given her second marriage was a multi millionaire meant that she had already achieved lifetime financial success so there was little chance that Bruce could do her any harm to her finances. What was she really risking?

I took this as a most worthy diversion from WWWM. I can't help the superlatives. I like the way you write, the dialogues, and plainly the way you think. The story of Bruce and Tiffany could have gone on much longer. I wish it had continued. Maybe Chapter 2? Thank you.

A wife and mother in law, that have such notions,and he accepted that for how long? Making him pay so much with such a gap in the income? Candy would be the future and tiffany the past. A time to get past ...the past. Vistation is there for a raeson here. And tiffany is not understanding what she does and the effect? NO, don't go back .....

I'm old and perhaps should have better control, but the tears are running down my face right now. I loved this magnificent story. Thank you for your hard work.

You do have a good grasp of how life works and how an "ah-hah" moment can change the life of not only the recipient but also those who are nearest and dearest to his/her life. You have written us a "reality check", if we have brains and maturity enough to understand it.

Started out GREAT. But, turned into a cuckolded wimp husband story. Better ending would of been for the husband to have some balls. Too bad..story had real potential until you ruined it.

Well written, thought out, plotted and presented. I liked it, even though for much of the story I hated how she treated him and how he allowed her so much power in his life. He was true to his life, his beliefs and you drew the pictures perfectly so we could see that.

Then I read some of the comments and discovered that some of your readers read a different story than I did. They read your word through the lens of their pre-conceived ideas about how life ought to be. Too bad. They missed a good story.

Thank you.

Aside from the very first story DQS has posted, his stories do seem to have the same theme. This one is no different.

Three points I'll mention:

One.

Their "marriage" is a shining example of an unequal partnership. Tiffany makes the money, despite his lower income Bruce has to pay all the bills because "he's the husband". She only pays for the good stuff (holidays), and in this story he doesn't benefit from even that little bit. Instead she takes along another guy, knowing Bruce can't cough up the money, with the implication she is going to fuck the guy.

Two.

After the divorce, Tiffany keeps hurting Bruce as much as possible by calling him while she has sex with another guy, and calls Bruce a coward if he hangs up. Even after changing phones and phone numbers, she quickly finds out, and calls him again and again.

Is she saying "You are a coward if you don't let me continue hurting you as much as possible"? Nasty, that.

Three.

Others have mentioned this. The gun, ofcourse. Bruce is forced to say yes to Tiffany's marriage proposal "at gunpoint". Others will probably point out that the gun was for "if Tiffany ever caught Bruce cheating", but....what if Bruce had refused? Would she have shot him? Herself? The others? So it'd be in his best interest, fearing for his life, and those of his gathered friends, to say yes. Out of fear.

The gun also proves that Tiffany has not changed. She still thinks that Bruce will cheat on her, despite never having given any indication that he would. The only thing Tiffany has conceded on, is the money. Her rampant distrust is still there.

Not to mention the fact that Bruce himself doesn't say anything to equalize it. No "And if YOU cheat on me, Tiffany, I will shoot YOU" stuff. No therapy for Tiffany is mentioned at all either.

Their money is now not separate (oh dear, she ALSO has to pay for the bills now!), and if Bruce is ever seen with another woman, Tiffany is allowed to castrate Bruce. Given Tiffany's history, the things she has done to hurt Bruce before and after the marriage, and the fact that her mother is still around to poison her mind, the cheating would not have to be cheating either. A peck on the cheek or a hug would be justifiable cause to castrate Bruce.

I can see an epilogue where Bruce will be tailed by a PI for a very long time, has his car and phone bugged, and any indication of friendliness towards another woman will result in a spray of bullets. Ouch.

the idiot poster Scorpio wtote

...."Then I read some of the comments and discovered that some of your readers read a different story than I did. They read your word through the lens of their pre-conceived ideas about how life ought to be......"

care to share an example or two of how sooooooo many reader ... which overwhleming hate or dislike this story are Misreading this piece of crap from DSQ?

come on dude surely you can provide ONE example?

NO? Didnt think so....

DUH!!....yea right.....

one dimensional cut outs...too far fetched to even conceive the little ones in the story.

After reading Separate Vacations I was looking at the comments section and noticed HDK's thoughts on your story. It sparked something. I've enjoyed pretty much all your stories...to a point. Honestly that is high praise because God knows readers are fickle beasts (for instance many readers decide whether a story is worthwhile purely based on a couple's reconciliation).

I never was quite sure exactly what I thought the stories lacked until reading HDK's comments. It's that the stories for all their strengths are genre writing.

The stories are not just genre work in that they are about faithful husbands and their faithless wives, they are Loving Wife fiction because they affirm all the genre's preconception.

Men must have big dicks or make up for it in some way.

Women must have have big tits or make up for it in some way.

Men must be ready to physically defend their marital rights so there is always at least some confrontation where the male leads bashes his rival(s).

Women are inherently faithless in that they will always be attracted and must be guarded from big alpha males.

Money is not important...except that it is. Quite a few male leads are poor or not as wealthy as they should be. Reconciliation only happens when coincidentally they fall into more money and power.

Oh and last one that I can think of, Fate, will bring back those two people who are truly in love (as long as you're a main character, fate will dick over bystanders as needed).

If other readers can think of more, please chime in.

Given these DQS rules to storytelling it's not surprising why your stories are so popular. Still, it would be nice to read a story which life is more random.

Now please let me adjourn so that others can tell me why I have such a little dick and that I can't please a woman -- or that I am a woman -- and that I should put a gun in my mouth and drink deeply of lead. So have at it.

I am not clear why you devalue your observations and contributions to the current discussion. While I have admitted to being "hot-tempered," I really admire individuals of your persuasion who can give praise and a slap on the risk in tne same comment.

You are therefore entitled to have your story end in whatever manner you choose. But seriously, man! What type of betrayal does it take to make you Florida boys say, "Enough!" and really mean it? Oh, by the way, thank you for sharing your stories with us.