All Comments on 'Just the Six of Us Ch. 04'

That's all I gotta say.

Would have been better if Sarah had gotten him off before supper. It would have made the story a little longer.

But hey don't take it as negitive, I like where the storys going.

It's your story, and i'm enjoy reading it...more.

Well that got me waiting for the next part. Loved the sucker punched morality, but the build then cliff hanger.

The feedback I've been getting on this chapter is wonderful. If any of the story was disliked, I figured it would be this chapter. It's the smallest I've written so far, but the content was integral to the direction I want to take the story, as you'll soon see. Keep the feedback coming! I'd love to know if you hate it, want to see something else in it, what you really think, etc.

I'd also like to go on record here, I don't actually have anything against Frats or frat parties. I'd originally used the name of a local fraternity but thought better of it.

Your title is 'Just the Six of Us' - but there's one brother and 4 sisters? Who's the sixth? just bugging me a little!

It's the voice in his head. :) I tend to think of it as it's own separate character rather than just his subconscious.

keeps getting worse and worse do us a favor and stop writing total garbage

If you don't like the story line, go somewhere else. Everyone else is enjoying the show,, shithead !!

The sixth is the voice in his head.

Great story, keep up the good work.

Why are you still reading it if you don't like it?

Keep up the good work Mentalcase. Just hope updates continue at the same pace!

This story just keeps getting better and better, it is hilarious and very well put together. Keep it up!!

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is after all erotica, and incest erotica at that. It's not gonna please everyone.

Chapter 5 will post tomorrow, 6 and 7 are submitted and should post either monday and tuesday, or tuesday and wednesday. I have through chapter 11 finished and am putting the finishing touches on 12. Eventually it should update at about a chapter a week, maybe quicker.

Thanks again for all the comments, both good and bad.

I was waiting for another chapter tonight. I'm the Sarah fan. I'd guess in his eyes she would be the mother figure.

I'd like to hear more of the voice in his head, I like the way he thinks. I guess he's growing pass the nightmares, but with Sarah , she's putting more nightmares in his heads voice, well Mikes controling it so far.

As far as not liking long storys, I like em longer the better, longer chapters even better.

Keep em coming, i'll keep checking back for more.

Sarah is definitely the mother figure, though she also has a wild side. She's difficult to write, trying to balance the two sides of her personality. I knew that alot of stories that featured twins, almost always used those two as the ones that got intimate first. I decided to go against the flow and try a different approach.

The voice is definitely fun to write and is a great humor device. There will be chapters that don't have much focus on the voice, where it'll be silent except for a few suggestions. There will also be chapters that heavily feature the voice. It will pop up more and more the more the sisters torment Mike and the more sexual contact he gets. There will also be some scenes that the Voice knows to shut up and not spoil it.

I'm glad it is enjoyed, though.

Jerry in Washington State, USA - Mike being beaten due to trying to save Danni was a bit scary. I had a similar experience when I was young of having several hoods jump me at a party. Luckily I mainly ended up with just badly bruised ribs. I've already read Chapter 5 so I know that this scene is worth it since it will help Mike and Danni become closer and understand each other better.

love it all so far, carry on the good work.

On to the next one

You just posted Chapter 18, so I'm rereading the entire thing before getting to your new chapter. Everything about your writing is different, from the voice to the characters interactions. Nobody does it better, so don't listen to those comments that want you drifting onto the road commonly traveled.

Of course, I also believe you have chosen the perfect user name. Mentalcase sort of explains THE VOICE...

This story is absolutely fantastic. Before Mike was jumped he should have yelled he was saving his sister from rape, but as long as the girls are safe a beating is worth it! Any decent brother would endure much worse to protect his family and for that I think this is the best Chapter yet. Keep up the great job.

Loving the story. Feels like I'm viewing the life of an actual person. Funny how things get mixed up.

You already are drawing me in and keep amazing me with each chapter. I hope this incident changes Dannis personality (I just started reading this today so it probably did already) A guy willing to fight even though he's outnumbered to protect his sister (of even friend) deserves a lot of respect.

I have a minor spelling issue to report but, nothing that ruins the story.

Keep writing because you have talent.

legally able to make her own decisions. You barge in to rescue a minor. The fear of being put on the sex offender roll would be enough to get most guys to back off.

Nothing new to say here. I just started reading this series, and I have to say it's the best I've stumbled upon in quite some time. I wish more authors would think to let information on the character's come forth from necessity rather than a frantic description by the narrator at the start of the story. The premise does remind me a lot of another series called Party of Five but there are enough significant differences I suppose. I'm interested to see how you unwind the story and to what extent this "voice" plays an integral role to the plot development, a bold undertaking I'd say. My advice: Don't be afraid to describe things in even more detail. Even in the frat party scene I think you have more room to capture the environment before you lose the mood of desperate search.

I swear, if Danni doesn't wise up and start appreciating her sweet brother more after that incident, I am personally going to feed her to the dogs. That being said, I very much like the way you are developing this story, making Mike and his sisters into well developed and likeable characters, unlike the stereotypical rednecks that were present at the (disgusting) frat party (damn I hated those).

There's always one asshole in any given community that's desperate to make the leap from "scum" to "rapist". Why this is true, I have no idea, but I think it's really discouraging. Mike fought well and I am so very much looking forward to seeing Red get whatever he's got coming to him. Another great chapter, MC.

my heart is pounding so hard I feel like it has traveled to my head and decided to take residence there. Im so worried for him now. this sucks its 2:39am and I was going to stop on this chapter and go to sleep, but I cant stop here, I have to find out what happens!

She's 22 and doesn't know that picking up your tit at the dinner table in front of your brother and licking sauce off it is... impolite?

There comes a point where the inane writing gets too much.

Like "I'm trying to get you used to the sight of breasts around you." He's 19 and grew up around breasts. If he's not used to it after 6+ years of noticing them, then he's *never* going to get used to them...

Did I not just read a reference to Pulp Fiction?

"Be there in five."Mike jumped up off the couch, yelling for Sarah, and charged up the stairs.

Then later

They pulled up to the frat house four minutes and seven seconds later.

I can't believe I am the only person who caught this! Either way, if you (Mentalcase) intentionally played that card or not, it mad me laugh. Thanks!

DB71

i give up with girls like Danni who go out dressed like a hooker looking for someone to fuck and then getting themselves drunk and raped...

she is lucky she has siblings otherwise she would have been used by those 3 guys.

At least Danni learnt and changed after this which is what counts. Love the series and this chapter is actually one of my favs now lol.

I wish I had been there to help him . One of My Sisters was almost Raped . My Older Brother Kicked the guys ass Before Me and 2 of My Friends got their .. I was not happy to see 3 guys hitting My Brother . Thanks to Bob and Charlie We made those Guys pay ..

I'm pretty sure this is my 6th time going thru this story smh 5 stars as always lol

Gotta protect your sister...even if she is a bitch.

Very good, the story is getting better.

Yyyaaayyy for Mike!! That is what a GOOD brother does...protect even his bitchy sister!!

He is now gonna be Danni's hero...good times to come!!

Five Stars!!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌