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Good but...
This moves way too fast. There are too many people to keep track of (eight characters), and Cass and Rand just go whoosh! Too fast. Also, you slip from third person to first and back again; only once, and easily fixed, but it made things confusing. Good start, though. Just needs to be slowed down.
Good start...
...but I agree with PennLady - please slow down! The sex (at least, the intention to have sex) comes too quickly (pun not intended), and there's too much detail given to (as of now) minor characters. You don't need to describe Cass's friends or the other guys to the extent you did, considering how little they figured in the story. I'll stop complaining now, and begin waiting for the sequel... A great start!
hot hot!
too fast but nice. hahahaha! write fast please.
good
dont listen to any of them yes it was fast but i think the outcome will make it worth it keep up the good work loving this story so far.
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