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English
simply elegantly beautiful
your visuals are, as always, right on the money; your language choice refined absolutely to the tone of the piece and its pacing ... so often that undertow of old and almost comfortable sorrow imbues your writes.
loved this, especially your use of swallows linked to summer the way you have.
I love your poetry!
sometimes the way you capture words leaves me breathless. The last two lines dropped my jaw.
--And you keep on posting good ones. You keep me coming back to look.
More, more, more
Another Excellent Piece
I really enjoyed this one and it is so topical and cleverly devised. M
Nice.
I love the way you've capture evening...
If you ever check
What chip said I agree with, I like the use of alliteration and the amount, in the more important lines, what I can't get over is:
of Summer, watching the - "the" strikes me as just wrong, having UU, slight pause
colour drain from things
it throws a weight on colour, that you take away with "from things"
I feel that is your intent, just I question it. A5
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