All Comments on 'Dialogue This'

looking forward to the comments x

I don't think you can stress enough how good dialogue can make or break a story. It really adds to the flow of the narrative. Thank you for posting.

S. Angele

The example shown as not needing a tag line actually does need a tag on each piece of speech as it's not at all obvious who is speaking

Great confirmation of what I enjoy in reading. As a novice author, I avoid the D tags as much as possible. Hoping the words spoken will convey who is talking.

There is a fair amount of different conventions when it comes to dialogue from various Lit authors. Some leave out the quotes altogether. Others put their quotes at the beginning of the paragraph, but not at the end. As a reader, those techniques are disconcerting and are detracting from the story as much as misspellings (your/you're, etc) and poor grammar. If I see a quote at the beginning of a paragraph and not at the end, I expect that same person to be talking in the next paragraph as I have seen on some fine stories on this site.

As writers communicate in the written word, conventional rules must be upheld lest the reader not understand. Only in rare cases can those rules be broken and not leave the reader in the dust.

Thank you for your observations and hope you accept my expansions. I really felt as though we have bonded and spent some time together unless you think I am patronizing you. If that is the case, well then I apologize and extend my thanks for your tips.

Swamp cunt? Now I HAVE to find a way to make that work in a story...without vomiting. BTW is that the right way to use ellipses?

Good read, especially on Dialogue tags - a perpetual failing of mine, I said, embarrassed, figiting in my seat, as I typed, nervously, wondering if I was doing it correctly, doubting it though.

A nicely-written and humorous piece that says a lot more than is apparent from the title - thank you.

When I saw this I wanted to read it just to see if you knew what you were talking about and you were. Nice job.

I am not an author and will never be, but I really appreciate well placed and purposeful and proper punctuation, etc. You explained it well through real examples, not just saying what is supposed to happen.

Thanx.

Too bad most of the people who need to read this won't use your tips. As for me, thanks for the reminders while I'm working on something new. :)

Well done. Not only spot on but interesting and humorous to boot. I'll be linking some authors I know directly to this piece. Do not pass GO, and definitely do not collect $200 until they've read it, loved it, lived it. LOL

I'll try to put some of this to good use.

Nicely done. :)

abroadsword - the joy of dialogue is you can write pages without a tag. All you have to do is slip in a name, "Adam, you can't be serious." Or a reference, "What kind of wife refuses to suck her husband's cock?"

Hemingway wrote screeds without tags. The point firebrain missed was that dialogue is almost visual. Tags slow down a story.

Firebrain, great piece but in trying to cover so much ground I thought you didn't explain enough sometimes. We went from 101,"Use quotation marks", to quite subtle stuff about nuancing dialogue to express character.

Nevertheless, a very useful addition to Lit's writer help cache.

Thanks for putting together this zesty article on good dialogue. It is one of the facets that set your stories apart from many others, so we couldn't ask for a better informatrix.

Kudos on the organization of the piece, as well. If follows the old recommendation, "Tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em; tell 'em; and tell 'em what you told 'em."

Next one on punctuation? ;^P

I like it when someone can give advice AND make it nice and readable.

Informative AND most enjoyable!

Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom! I've got a fair bit of dialogue in my story, so this will most certainly help. I promise not to send pictures of my mushroom cock. I can't hold the camera out far enough to fit it all in the picture. =[

"Thank you, Ms. Firebrain!" exclaimed the inexperienced youth to his patient but controlled teacher. "I will strive to do better next time ... if you will promise to still spank my butt with those soft hands when I do good work!"

I can't imagine many of us, even in the colonies, ever having such an interesting lesson from an experienced teacher; college or secondary schools. You set the standard.

Your material should be required reading.

Corrections can be sent to: --

Great advice. I would have sent you a picture of my mushroom cock, but sadly I wasn't born with one.

Alexis xoxo

Thank you so much for posting this. Many writers (like myself) haven't had a grammar lesson since secondary school, and there are some things you just forget or allow yourself to fall into bad habits. It's nice to get such an amusing and informative refresher course. I wish more 'writers' on this site would take the time to read this! :)

I thought I was fully bi-lingual in English--US to British--but I see I have a lot to learn! It's little descriptors like that which made your article fun to read. The grammatical stuff I knew, but the stylistic stuff was very helpful.

Now a question I can't seem to find an answer to. If ANYONE can help me with this, I'd be most appreciative!

How do you divide paragraphs with dialog? I know a new speaker brings a new paragraph, but because I write long dialog tags (probably a no-no, but...), sometimes it's difficult to know where to break the paragraph. For example:

****

Marla Morgan, who had been the tough grunge chick who had kept the bullies at bay, stood immediately and yelled, "Hey, look bitch!" then, as the light dawned, "Holy shit! It's ANNIE!" She practically came over the table to grab Ann in a rough hug. "What the FUCK happened to YOU?" she cried tactfully. Then she grabbed Ann by the shoulders and turned her so that the famous fannie faced the whole table.

****

Should that be divided into more than one paragraph? If so, where? It's the same speaker the whole time, but there is action interspersed. Or should I NOT have action interspersed? I'm happy with what I've written--I just need to know if it's ok for all that to be one paragraph.

And one more question: if you are quoting a character's thought, does this need quote marks? Example:

****

“Damn,” she thought. “If I didn't already have plans for tonight, I'd take you home and fuck you til you couldn't remember your name!”

****

Quote marks or not?

Thank you for a helpful and entertaining article!

Thanks for a well written article that has helped me immensely.

That was actually as interesting as reading a story, and much more helpful. Not that I have perfect grammar (far, far from it), but I understand the importance of simple punctuation marks. I find it painful to chat online with my sister or read her Facebook messages because there is no punctuation or capitalization and I have no idea what's going on!

The easiest way for me to skim or stop reading your story entirely is to a) rush what could be an amazing story and b) to forego an effort at grammar/punctuation/capitalization. If you don't pause with punctuation, I won't pause while reading it.

It's just unfortunate that so many 'writers' out there have really good ideas, but because they don't put in the effort their story comes off as a joke. Here I am being all critical when I don't actually write. I've written a few things, but mostly it's just my blog, which is mainly written in the style I talk... And I use ellipses WAY too much. ^_^ And exclamation marks.

Anyway, thanks!

for all budding authors.

All too often I've seen stories that had a great creative spark, a fantastic idea, only to be regulated to ho-hum, drab commonplace by boring, and sometimes physically painful dialogue.

If everyone with a pen in their hand and story in their heart took ten minutes to study your tutorage, in six months time there wouldn't be anyone with dry pants on the internet.

You, sir, are clearly some type of sorceress and I salute you.

Greetings,

This is a Very good article.

I have written half a dozen stories,

and get so-so feedback That is why I

am reading this article so my stories

will get better. An old song from the

1980's "It don't come easy" and writing

a good story does NOT come easy. I will

read this 5 or 6 times to get the

most out of it.

Thanks for helping a beginner.

This piece is really informative and I enjoyed reading it immensely, hopefully it will help me in having my work accepted as it's the punctuation within speech that I'm having problems with...apparently :)

Thanks so much for taking the time to write such an informative article.

I am sure anyone who reads this is going to go away a better writer!

is as good as your stories Firebrain, and that's saying something. You could be a tutor in my University Creative Writing classes.

I disagree on only one point.

Most authors use 'quotes' to denote dialogue. But many don't. Including a lot of French authors, and such literary giants as Cormac McCarthy, Tim Winton, and James Kelman.

I have evolved my own style for denoting dialogue without 'quotes'. Have a look at my stories Firebrain. I hope you'll find I follow all your rules but that one.

Instead of trying to "teach" writing, educators should just direct their students to the help section of this site.

A lot of this I knew but really wasn't into writing and reading anything not relating to extracting the most horsepower out of an engine when I was in school.

Some very good tips here and a bit of validation, too!

Excellent piece. Tech correct and yet approachable, even fun. Of course its made infinite work for me in rewrites and general tweaks. My dream of finishing my project drifts further off into the horizon. When I get to it though, it shall be a lovely lovely sight indeed.

You use ellipses wrong. Ellipses are indicative of missing information, not a break in speech. The word ellipsis stems from an ancient Greek word that literally means: "omission" or "falling short."

"Sarah isn't particularly bright; in fact, she... rides the short-bus." Is wrong.

"Sarah isn't particularly bright; in fact, she..." Is correct. The next bit of dialog or dialogue (both are right) might be:

"She what?!" Carl demanded.

"She rides the short bus," Thomas muttered.

Despite that minor mistake, the rest of the piece was extremely well done. After reading this, I realize that I've been over-using tags and I intend to rectify that mistake. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate both the information and the way it was presented.

I in no way, shape, or form meant to insult your intellect Firebrain/Lucy (in fact, I've been reading some of your blog entries since I found this a couple of hours ago).

To all of those who read this comment but haven't given her blog a look; you should. For those that do read this comment and have read her blog; you know what I'm talking about.

Thanks again for your contributions to the literary world. I find all of your "advice" and "how-to" articles intelligent, informative and humorous. You've made me aware of the potential pit-fall that is "Mary Sue."

I know I do. (And with this, I add another thing to my list of favorite 'stories')

I'm guilty of quite a few of these problems and I think Firebrain has opened my eyes. Thanks

totally just sent you a picture of my mushroom cock

Really enjoyed reading your post, thanks!

Do you have recommendations for internal dialect?

Thanks for all the info. Very helpful!

I have never before in my long, illustrious career of wanking to Lit. stories bothered to leave a little Thank You note. Maybe, if the story was particularly thrilling, I've given a 5 star rating but that's about as much as I can be bothered to do before collapsing into sleep. Congratulations! A quick scan of the other 'self help' guides available on Literotica reveals not one as sarcastic, amusing and genuinely useful as this; and if I'm perfectly honest with myself I'd even stretch to admitting your writing style is my favourite of any story I've read on this site (bear in mind I've only read this one how-to guide- it almost sounds like I have a crush on you!). I don't know... maybe its the British thing? An overwhelming majority of the work on here is either of the piss-poor, highly American, OhYeaFuckMeHarderYouLikeThat variety or the painfully miss-spelt, shocking grammar, LanguageOfATenYearOldFromIndia type. This is the first time I've ever laughed on this site, not once but several times so you must be doing something right. Maybe I'm being a bit weird? Rambling out an essay about how amazing you are on an erotica website... I guess I'm tired. At any rate, not that my opinion will impact you in any way but keep it up! I'll be checking out your other work another night. :) Maybe I should make an account on this? Bye!

Yours Sarcastically,

Patrick

I just have started writing. I gotta say, this helped me a lot. Thanks Firebrain.

P.S:- I won't send you a pic of my mushroom cock, scout's honour;)

As a new writer, I was able to almost throw-up four complete stories that came to me easily once I decided to put it from brain to paper. Until I began the editing process one story at a time. I have slowed to a painful crawl after reading quite a few How-To's.

I believe yours has been the most helpful because of your examples.

Neen<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~going back to the editing process. Hopefully, I will be posting my finished product one day.

Firebrand, I'm a new writer spilling my fantasies onto paper. I stumbled in the dark through my first story, seeking to bring to life a innocent schoolgirl being seduced and forced to become the new girl at school's plaything. I made a LOT of mistakes, but I did it! Got the story out. First step, whew! And it climbed its was to a hot rating, 20 comments and a ton of faves in a few days. I was pretty surprised - and inspired. So, I'm writing more, and now I'm want to grow as a writer. I want to learn the craft and gain the skills. Your dialogue tips were the best I've ever read on how to make dialogue come alive. So, thank you for taking the time to inspire and coach newbie writers like me. Viva le Pen!

MarissaPie

Excellent advice, Firebrain. One thing, though- I'm not sure that I can resist using "Greased beef express." How could anyone resist?

I am going back to edit my story one more time before submission! Reading this article is just what I needed!

Thank you for this. A tutorial that doesn't just tell you what to do, it tells you how to do it. I am really keen to try. Marie.

‘Oooh, you fucking nailed—‘ I said, loudly, while being interrupted . . . By HOT sex—“ as I was saying, did I say that already?’

Errm, anyway that was very insightful, and funny. Well done! If writers follow this, it’ll add a star to their stories.

What a surprise, she thought, staring at her keyboard, racking her brain for an apt title for her comment.

Jennifer did not come willingly to this post. Her first erotic story submission was returned, rejected. The only options given were to follow this resource on character dialogue, request an editor, or hang her head in shame and find a new hobby.

Too intimidated by her current skill level to seek the guidance of an experienced editor, and never a quitter, she followed the provided links to this essay. Thinking she would skim the article, and then separate her character's dialogues into individual paragraphs, she was shocked when she clicked the page arrow and had read the entire tutorial.

Our new author gained an abundance of knowledge from this lesson. She had recently re-read a 42-page WDC document, that left her confused about what interjections, utterances, hesitations, and truncations were. After reading this article, she was at least optimistic about becoming a better writer. Who knows, maybe we will see her first article published here on Literotica soon.

Unfortunately, she never did come up with a brilliant title for her comment. Moreover, Jennifer couldn't understand why a comment needed a title.

Very helpful posting. I struggle with dialogue; your insight and suggestions are clear and well presented. I think it will inspire me to connect with my dialogue and make my writing more enjoyable for me and the reader. Thanks Firebrain.

You gave me some great ideas, thanks.

I've used dialogue in my stories a lot. It works to add impact by using it at turning points in a story. Recently, I've been experimenting with speech during sex. I've come to realise that some times there is a surprising amount of dialogue in real life sex. So catching some of that sparingly in a story might be helpful.

Anne

Wonderfully done! Thank you for sharing and no need to worry about the mushroom pics. Popping out the old mushroom is not my idea of a best foot (obviously less than) forward introduction.

Someone commented that this should be mandatory reading for any aspiring author, and I don't disagree.

However, I would go further and make it mandatory reading for any reader who enjoys goading authors over their use of grammar.

I have over 60 submissions on Literotica, all containing significant dialog. I can count on one hand the stories that do not have some (frequently Anonymous) reader commenting on things like the improper use of pronouns such as he/him, she/her, etc. In EVERY case, their criticism is related to dialog rather than the narrative.

Human speech is messy. As stated in this helpful article, the spoken word does not follow the same rules of grammar as the written word does. Firebrain said, "the speech would sound like an essay", and that is something that readers need to consider before flaunting the 'C' that they received in some English class.

On the subject of dialog tags, many authors are so involved in the dialog in their stories that they don't view it from the readers' perspective. Believe me, I understand that dialog tags can get burdensome, but I also hate having to go back and read the same section of a story multiple times to try and figure out who it is that said what. Simply placing the dialog of each character in separate paragraphs often isn't enough of a distinction. One trick that can help a writer identify if their dialog is clear as to the character speaking, is to use a text to speech converter and then listen to it yourself.

Thank you Firebrain! Your guidance is most helpful. I just finished a story and fortunately found your article before publishing it or even soliciting editing help. I’m a very good technical writer, however, writing erotic fiction which includes a fair amount of dialogue is entirely different. What I did not learn decades ago, in my university writing classes, I can learn right here in Literotica. Thanks again!

I was encouraged to read your guidance on dialogue presentation by the submission gatekeeper at Literotica, and found it helpful, clear, and even entertaining. But, I'm still not clear on placement of a question mark in dialogue. Place it at the end of the spoken question, or at the end of the dialogue tag?

"Did you like the pics of my mushroom dick"? I asked. OR

" Did you like the pics of my mushroom dick", I asked?

Your guidance suggests the first examp!e, but then doesn't that leave the dialogue tag as a lost phrase?

Anyway, your help was appreciated. Thank you!!

This was an awesome read! You can always tell when guides are well written, because they make you laugh :) Thank you for the help and guidance!

This was very helpful I rate this 5 mushroom heads... err..stars, I mean 5 stars. Thank you!

I wish I had read this sooner. Thank you

I enjoyed the article and the humor. Thanks. A solid 5.

This was helpful. I tend to be dialog-heavy in my stories and hear the characters talking to each other in my head. I get tired of, “she said.” or “Allison said.” and prefer something a little more descriptive than “said”. I also like putting the tag at the beginning so the reader knows who is talking when there are multiple characters involved.

Thanks for the tips. 5*