by devioto
Like the direction this is going where he is slowly making improvements.. hope to see more girls soon
Great sequel to your first chapter. Even though you say English is not your first language, you make very few mistakes that detract from the story. I encourage you to continue writing.
I love the premise, and hope that Francois will find a way to influence more than one woman at a time or alter his own characteristics (such as being able to keep himself from cumming)...guess I will have to keep reading!
You wrote a good story. The fact that François didn't fuck Julie yet is very exciting. You let place for improuvement and it's great. We can look forward to what you will write.
You said in the introduction english is not your first language ( I suppose it's french, like myself ).
As far as I can judge, you write very correct english, and very entertaining stories.
So thanks for the nice stories.
Here comes the remark : about 3/4 of the first page (in this chapter), we read : "the skirt was now nearly up her ankles". I think it should be "hips" , not ankles.
But it is really a detail. Thanks again.