Forgive Me For I Have Sinned....

Need to proofread your story...

You need a proofreader to check your story before submitting. First, the guy is Maria's fiance, then later is her husband. Second, the guys name is Dave, then later, it is Mike.
Other than that, it was HOT

Whatever

FUCK THE PROOF READING!!!!! ............. great story

please forgive me

if I think that's utter crap, from start to the end

Good Story

No comments from me on what minor errors may have occurred, it was a good story and pretty well written.

Very hot

Ignore all the lame comments, this needs a follow up story!

Good story

Hi silk,

a good story, full of eroticism.

Sadly when anonymous comments are allowed, that's when the trolls come out just to be angry.

AS you can see those who are actually interested readers tend to post their profile names and give constructive comments.

My story

I am not against critical comments, but they should be at least tasteful. If you personal attack me, your comments will be deleted. (By the way...the witty critical comment that played on my title at least made me laugh).

There are a couple glaring editing errors (a fixed version has ben submitted and should be changed in a day or two).

Those who have emailed me with thoughtful comments, good or bad, are greatly appreciated.

Although not pregnant at the time, it reminded me of very vivid play with my hot wife and her recently divorced girlfriend that involved my wife's handmade wedding dress, toys, and lots of sweet, messy cum. Nicely done, Beth.

I like stories about pregnant sluts getting fucked

Hot and erotic. A good fantasy, and I can visualize her swollen belly hanging down below her, while she is getting fucked dogie style and eating her lovers pussy. Now that's a turn-on.

Thanks for the good read.

I gave you a three for writing quality (despite a few dumb mistakes) and the fact ....

....that this makes for a "hot" story, (If you want a quick get-off aided by the "oh so evil of it all"!-i.e.,a "jerk" story). It's an old plotline and since my response letter would start out," My formerly dearest Beth, call YOUR child whatever you want. Send me the paternity results and I'll pay what the court orders. Say buhby to your mom and dad for me."- I guess I didn't find it very erotic.

I have to add two questions in the name of freedom...

...Duck and Bunny-( and Author)--How can you tell if anons are worse than semi-anons if the author deletes comments? And Author, where does one draw a line on censorship that doesn't offend somebody. Thank God almighty our founding fathers didn't have your interpretation of free speech. In the name of self-perpetuating freedom read Ben Franklin's thoughts on why even highly offensive speech should not be censored. Thanks much!

Great story

I had a feeling she would turn out to be a student. As for pregnant women, nothing is sexier..............

I'm with Pistolpackinpete here.

Forgive Me For I Have Sinned?******

You only get to ask for forgiveness once sweetie, going back out to do it again isn't forgivable by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe god will forgive you, MAYBE, but I doubt that hubbie will be in the slightest bit interested in saving your cheating arse....lol*****

If you're into pregie belly grinding, then I suppose this was up there with the good ones. I, for one saw nothing but a stupid woman's downfall, itstigated by her overactive hormones. There was no indication in the beginning of the story for hubbie to be anything but a tad upset by his wifes action. To ask if the baby should be christened Maria, is nothing more than the wifes contempt for her hard working husband, out there slaving away for her keep.*****

I'd be writing the same as Pete here. Take two asprin and don't bother coming home in the morning darlin, because of now, you haven't got one.*****

I gave a three for technical reasons, as for erotic? Everyone to their own I suppose.*****

Amanda

KHAC

Kick Her Ass to the Curb.
Make her prove the kid is yours and save the letter for the divorce.
She has already demonstrated that she will never be faithful. Her new name should be Screendoor because everyone will bang her except you.
The husband has no more use in this "union", except as bill payer.

How come?

Mandy01 brings up the old hormone excuse. It always is the first (maybe second) excuse for women, therefore never taking any responsibility on themselves. If mens hormones are off well fuck them to bad seems to be the attitude,
Just wondering why that is.

Forgive her?

The intro to the story mentioned it was a story for a couple, what did hubby get out of this?

Hubby did get cheated on, and wife basically trashed their marriage, so it's not looking too good at the moment.

The main character here is not nice or even a character with flaws that you could still accept. She without any remorse not only cheated, but basically surrendered herself to others. Way beyond forsaking hubby, she ditched him. Then she wrote a happy little note about how she did it, how many times, and just how much fun it was.

Hubby is going to be hurt, devastated, and angry. Murderous possibly.

Ok so you've created an easy to hate character here. Do you plan a part ii where hubby gets revenge? She's been pretty extreme in her actions, he would be well within rights to exact some nice payback.

Suggestions:

1. Have hubby take/seduce/whatever the other woman in this story in front of wife. Have him give the woman a kid. Have him leave wife, woman, and womans guy having to raise the two screaming kids. That alone might be good revenge.

2. Have hubby read note and make a phone call to his secretary. " Kathy, you were right she is a cheating slut. I'd like to take you up on your offer, meet me at airport tomorrow at 10 we've got a flight to Hawaii/france/Greek islands to catch" hubby never returns wife never knows where he went.

3. Have wife return home again to find a note from hubby on the door. " hi dear, got your note. I felt horny too, I'm out with your hotter younger sister right now, so please let yourself in to get the rest of your things. Please make sure the closet is cleaned out so there is room for Amanda's things. It's been fun, but you know how it is, I hadn't had sex in 4 days now and well you are kinda fat right now and she is way hotter than you. If you want this edgier, swap wife's hot divorced mom who had wife when she was 15. That way mom can still be way sexy and fun. No better revenge on a woman than dumping her for her mom or sister.

4, note to wife: you are the weakest link, goodbye. Oh and I've been meaning to ask who's kid this is -I had a vasectomy years ago so thanks for finally giving me the final reason to get out of here. I was trying to help you since I loved you, but if this is your kind of loving I am otta here and off to find a woman who isn't insanely pumped full of hormones.

5. Or if you prefer a halloween theme, have hubby turn out to be actually a demon who was trying to reform and go nice. This however pushes him over the edge, and well there is lots of erotic fun ways you can go with a really really pissed off demon.

not well thought out.

As others have noted there is a lack of relateable characters here. The lead in is missleading. It was more of a nightmare for a couple expecting their first.

agree - but

I agree with the comments that this "wife" doesn't deserve forgiveness since she dove into this behavior without consultation. (Note, in character development the author indicates that the couple had flirted with swinging but just hadn't gotten up the courage to go through with it.)
However, as an erotic tale, the story is well written and appropriately graphic.

Chill!

Your readers that have commented need to relax and enjoy a FANTASY. If they cannot appreciate your vivid writing style of psychological depravity, they need to find some different kind of writers. Maybe the title was a little misleading because it was sort of a parody on some ancient Catholic ritual prayer and the readers expected a contrite woman, full of wretched regret. The pregnant woman was a submissive and she had as little control over her emotions as most of us do or as
little as the writer allowed her in this fantasy. Getting upset about her character makes the same amount of sense as a child crying over Cinderella's rags but maybe it is a tribute to you as a writer that your readers become so involved with your characters.

let the sinning go on

For sins, isn't there something like stopping the sin? Repentence takes on a different form. The time to corrupt her was minimal, so there was this desire just waiting to break through. I don't see a good prognosis for this marriage, but then that may be good for each: she with -- what she's doing, and him with the choice not to be around her or what she's done/doing

looking at the undercurrent

I dont think the 'sin' is really the point. She is teasing him, not remourseful. But teasing him in a way which is positive, not in a cucky manner. The title is supposed to be ironic or joking.

Remember, she talks about them swinging, and she has sucked cock (glory hole) and eaten pussy at the swingers club. And she plans for him to listen.

Obviously she thinks he would be ok with it.

Both my GF and I cant get enough of this story, and want a follow up if possible!

hot, but that last part about her running late and going to the party with her cell would never happen. I know its a story, but still it was at least remotely possible until then. Shit, if I was Mark (that was the husbands name right) I would be filling for divorce while she's at the party.

Forgive Me?

She doesn't want forgiveness, she wants a spinless cockold wimp to take care of her bastard child while she is out whoring around. What kind of brain dead faggot pervert finds her actions erotic? Stupid slut stupid story.

Hot, Hot, Hot

Excellent submissive story

Chill people!

You all need to chill over the wife not being sorry. It is obvious that in the story both her and her husband thought the way that swingers do. It says that they both chickened out but we don't know if it was her who asked to leave and he just obliged. What she probably means by sin is that he wasn't there. She feels bad that he wasn't there for the experience but she obviously wants him to because she told him about all of it directly after it happened and told him to call her so in a way he could be apart of it too.

Great story

Again Darlin' another great story only you could write going to read more after i finish this comment. You are a great story teller. pcb_beachbum2002@yahoo.com

Nice

Outstanding store with a very nice touch
Nobrakess

You posters are missing the point

It's sad when people nick pick and criticize. Look, it's a story, a fantasy that came true for someone. And a good story at that.

If you personally have ever had some fantasy that made you cock twitch or pussy tingle, maybe you have discussed it with your partner. But in all honesty if you are an adult then the opportunity to full-fill that fantasy has probably been available.

Go back and read the story's Msn communication ... and that is a VERY real type of event that could happen ( BTW very nicely done Jasmine ). Hind sight can say "I could have done this" or "should have done that", but the decisions in the heat of the moment are what really do happen. If you say no and back out ... OK. But if you say yes, which is very believable, then all of a sudden you may be in the middle of an sex experience of epic description ! This story, like the Internet Exchange of Straight Cocksucker, is a great example of a person with a fantasy who inquired, and linked up with the right other person, and the opportunity presented itself ... and she said yes.

Nice story Jasmine. Thank you.

Another story of a woman who only cares about her self.

Just like any of the women I know, they only care about themself. They cango cheat with eather men or woman just as long as it is what they ant. When her husband went with her to a swapp club she did not want to do any thing and had him take her home, now if she could of had her husband go out and set in the car and wite for her she would have had a long night and sent some one out later to tell him that she had left and went home with someone earler. She just did not want him to hae sex with any one but her when she felt like humilating him, so she could tell him how he did not do it correctly. She would say he did not last long enough to make her cum. I wonder why when he only get to have sex once a month if that. And then he has to get her hot and wet while she spends that time tellinf him what a looser he is. At least she tell him she cheating on him, where my wife did not work and kept saying that I was cheating on her.

The end...

The end of this story ruined it...Why? What the need to ask for pardon, if she wasn't sorry? And also we never know what kind of husband he is...The kind of wimp to allow his pregnant wife, to expose herself and his child to all kind of diseases? Or the man to take revenge on her and on the lovers after the child was born? All this is missing in the story...

Bethbunny is a dumbbunny. I would like to see a "part 2" with Mike's response: on-line sex, sex with 2 guys and another woman, then a slut-party. And, IN HER WEDDING DRESS?

Nice kink

The wedding dress is a good touch.

Lovely

Was it really sin? She didn't seem to remorseful at the end--but she did try to work in husb with her cellphone.Imaginative and fluid, thank you.

Why?

She didn't really seem sorry if she's gonna do it again... Just saying

Be Serious

She will never see him again... why bother to write a letter... oh shoot got to go an see my divorce attorney, his office closes in 20 minutes!
PS: Name the baby anything you want, it ain't no thing to me.

THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT

and PG ladies do have urges, TK U MLJ LV NV

good sexy story

I find it interesting how many readers have taken this story seriously. As far as I can tell it is just a well written story meant to excite the reader. In terms of the real life husband and wife, this may just be a shared fantasy that they wanted to "live out" by reading it in a story by a very good writer of erotic fiction.

Personally I love the way the two women in the story dressed and overal it was an enjoyable read.

Anyone taking the story serious should stop reading these stories and spend your time watching divorce court.

Not to take it seriously?

Not to take it seriously? I never take any story seriously, but I believe some people do...Some people can say it's a fantasy, that's just funny or just trying to excite the readers...I just ask: How can all that be possible if she puts her unborn child life in danger, fucking bareback strangers? 1*

Good author, well written,

But the story is so dense... why write a letter, except to hurt her soon to be ex-husband as much as she can? If that's not her reason, then she is the dumbest woman to ever walk the earth and deserves to be the single mom she is about to become... I hope she has a job skill besides stupid submission because we will never meet her ex in any sequal except from afar as she recalls that it should have her with him and his new family. She is the mon and I guess he is the dad, but she won't get much child support or alimony with her track record and the letter of confession she provide for his lawyer. Don't you just love stupid people.