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and you and you and you

bybutters©
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Comments (10)
by Anonymous

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by UnderYourSpell09/30/10

Wow

This is definitely a poem that should be published to a much wider audience and goes straight into my favourites

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by BooMerengue09/30/10

wowie zowie!

This journeyed me right round and round until I hung on

of a single, human footprint in the sand;

and then some doors slammed open and I'm scrambling for a pencil. TY much.

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by janeyl09/30/10

oh chippie...

fabulous xx

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by Esperanza_Hidalgo09/30/10

So?

"o crowd your poppied mind,"

you know what I am talking about. When do we see the poppy poem, hmmmm? Tee-Hee-Hee

This is fine work, and I continue to enjoy what you post. Good choice of action verbs to convey meaning.

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by normal jean10/01/10

much to like

about this piece, but I almost felt as if I needed a book of mythology to get through all the references. It is good work, but I think it could be better. You handle language well and I agree about the action verbs, well done. I've enjoyed reading you!

~ NJ

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by Anonymous10/01/10

Cool. Wish I could write

like this.

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by greenmountaineer10/02/10

Well done

Reminded me of Kubla Khan, Rime of the Ancient Mariner, and Samuel Taylor Coleridge, the poet and opium addict, all rolled into one; either that, or the descent of a significant other into a slow death through addiction, given the direct address by the narrator to the tormented person.

While the metaphors added to a nightmarish vision of the poem (for me), some were confusing. I'd agree with Normal Jean's comment on that. However, I read this at least 6 times and put it through several lenses for a better appreciation of it. I do that with only poems that intrigue me, which this certainly did.

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by twelveoone03/11/11

*

too many words here and here and here, that I lost sight of the core. Get rid of all extraneous verbiage and reassert what it is all about
5

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by HarryHill05/06/13

I love your eol's

very nice

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by HarryHill11/09/13

Back again so much later

and find my comment about end of lines to be a silly comment. now I wonder if this was conjured in your dreams. beautiful, and if I could favorite it again Iwould

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