homeNonHumanAwakened Ch. 01Public Comments

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Awakened Ch. 01

byUseli©
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by Anonymous

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by cannd10/06/10

Good start...I would just try to soften your transitions from one scene to another. Maybe like when they left the clearing to go to the club...start the paragraph with 'She led me to the car and we headed toward the club'...just something to transition more smoothly. Other than that look forward to the story continuing,.

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