Your story just seems to jump into it ... there's no build-up to the plot and no explaining anything. You've been around this site for awhile ... use somebody to bounce your work off for suggestions. It's not a bad story, it just doesn't develope.
I liked it a lot. There has been a proliferation here of people who write ten page stories and don't get to the goods until page nine - and then you get a TO BE CONTINUED that never gets followed up on. Sometimes you want to get right into it. Keep this series going.
by
Anonymous12/08/10
Needs back story and build up
You have potential... this is a hot idea. But, it needs some background and build up.
by
Anonymous02/09/11
Great start
Please continue this story and make it a series. It's hot.
English
I don't know ...
Your story just seems to jump into it ... there's no build-up to the plot and no explaining anything. You've been around this site for awhile ... use somebody to bounce your work off for suggestions. It's not a bad story, it just doesn't develope.
I liked it a lot. There has been a proliferation here of people who write ten page stories and don't get to the goods until page nine - and then you get a TO BE CONTINUED that never gets followed up on. Sometimes you want to get right into it. Keep this series going.
Needs back story and build up
You have potential... this is a hot idea. But, it needs some background and build up.
Great start
Please continue this story and make it a series. It's hot.
how long
when will the next chapter be on here
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