Really hot! Can't wait for more!! You know one of them wants to take her in the ass...
by
Anonymous10/29/10
good ideas, but needs polish....
Hi Explorer.....
Good concepts here... nice pace and well-thought out....but you need an editor or at least a proof-reader to correct the myriad of grammar and spelling mistakes..... let's see Chapter 02!!
English
Loved it!
Really hot! Can't wait for more!! You know one of them wants to take her in the ass...
good ideas, but needs polish....
Hi Explorer.....
Good concepts here... nice pace and well-thought out....but you need an editor or at least a proof-reader to correct the myriad of grammar and spelling mistakes..... let's see Chapter 02!!
Cheers
thanks
thanks for your comments the secong chapter is coming soon and its with her boyfriend this time
What is this?
Predictable story,far from arousing.Your spelling is horid.
Liked It
Good story, but you need to get an editor. Your spelling needs tuning a bit but overall good story.
are you THIS illiterate?????????????
Get an editor....get a proofreader....throw THIS in the trash!!!!
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