All Comments on 'Not Bible Camp Ch. 01'

Great start. I loved your slow exploration of the conflict between biology and belief.

This story is engrossing and delightful. It is easily my favorite thing I’ve read here & I’m on the edge of my seat about the further development of this story!

Very good story, well done.

There seems to be a big down side to this bible stuff

I'm loving this story already. It's written in a very authentic voice, and the author clearly has some background experience with 'everyday' Christian culture, making it all the more immersive.

The main character is very believable, and through him what we learn of the other characters is just as believable -- at least within the realms of mind control erotica! Counselor Jameson is just the right mix of sympathetic and corrupted, making her a very seductive manipulatrix and 'mind control' mistress.

Don't know much about Jill yet, but the seed has been planted (story-related pun intended) so I'm looking forward to see how she gets affected by the brainwashing, too.

In the long run, I also wonder if the counselors are reading the campers' diaries, or whether any other campers' diaries/entries will play any part in the narrative in future chapters.

So far, the story has a good mix of the 'everyday' with the 'a bit creepy' to make the story intriguing enough to crave reading the next chapter!