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Aches

byHyades©
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by Anonymous

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by Corpse_rider05/21/11

No aches reading this.

Ah, the pain of love.
A good piece.
A small suggestion: fourth line, 1st stanza:

My loneliness for you fills my eyes with tears.

might be better if:
My longing for you fills my eyes with tears.

Also the 3rd line, 3rd stanza jarred. Throughout the poem you evoke tight kisses, tender embraces and loving embrace. Then we have this line with the not so romantic Cock and Cunt. I would replace it with something like:

In a sea of lonliness you are my rock.
My ache intensifies with each tick of the clock.

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