All Comments on 'While He Was Sleeping'

...that ending two is the winner.

I liked them both, but the second was better in my opinion. I suppose because if it were me, I would want the second situation to happen.

Ending #2 was the best and you should continue on the story of Jim and Kelly.

beautifully done......wanked my cock vigourously...waiting for a hot hot pussy to do the same job in Surat, India

... honestly I don't like either ending. As a fellow voyeur/exhibitionist fetishist (and writer) I would've prefered her to simply leave the room.

What was the 3rd ending you didn't share?

They're both slightly "soft" endings, but the second is the better of the two.

great story..I really like the first ending because it felt more real.I liked that she was innocent while inspecting him and that she walked out of the room because she was caught. its just something that can happen.

Obviously...or maybe NOT obviously...it sounds better to have completion for BOTH lovers! Every man's DREAM is to experience a young lady like Kelly. Delicious images are conjured up in this tale, thanks.

Mistakes can spoil a story like "Kelly's car backing out of the driveway." Mixing up your characters. Spelling mistakes as well. Learn the difference between "to" and "too". Otherwise the story was fair. I prefer ending one.

it fulfills both of their needs

...either ending sounds good to me. Lovely writing.

Ending One went better with the flow of the story... Two was a little too abrupt I thought. But both were good.

I found ending one to be the best. Surely her curiosity would entice her to return, eventually. If I was in her position, I'd definitely return.

ending 2

this is an erotic lit site so we really do expect some fucking not just teasing

Because it sets up the sequel. The 2nd pretty much wraps up the suspense, & doesn't leave the reader wondering, "what's next?"

I liked the second ending, but the story could have continued for a couple more pages showing her about sex.

Neither really work as ending, it's stopping just when it starts to get good, though in either case more buildup is needed. It should certainly lead towards sex but slower paced to make it more satisfying.

good story, I liked the second ending.

That story was HOT!!! It had me hard as a rock. I just wish it would not of ended so soon. Ending 2 was more realistic. I don't thing a daughters friend would do that to her dad unless she really wanted to fuck him.

This story reminds me of when I was 18 in Longview Tx. Moved into a 2 BR apartment with another guy. 3 girls came over and watched us move in. We had a hidden key for just in case. One of the girls made use of that key and came in while I was sleeping. I worked nights. She wanted to experiment on me while I slept. Very exciting until I found out how old she really was. My ass moved out and never looked back. Scared the shit out of me.