My Sister Aimee

Great first story.

Loved this story, I can't wait to read more of your storyies. You should continue to write other stories like this one. You should also write more chapters to this one.

Great first story!

Great first story! Would be a good one to continue.

Anonymous

This was a great story you should continue it adding a descripsion of what Aimee looks like

Short

Very short

Almost Perfect

With this being your first story, I think you did a great job. There were one or two tiny things you missed, but nothing to keep me for watch for chapter 2. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

hmm

this is quite good, though it was extremely rushed. The build up to the actual erotic scene was just to fast.. you could have added an awkward moment.. the pool scene.. and a few days of sexual tension to make the sex even better for them.. throw in a college bud.. who tries to seduce her.. anything.. to make the story longer in length..

the rest is good and hope to see you write more soon. A second chapter perhaps.. or a complete rewrite of the story to make it fuller. More emotions and perhaps more details. For instance describing the apartment would have added at least 2 more paragraphs.. Having Aimee looking around the apartment. etc.. anyways.. like i said hope to see more soon..

good luck with your writing..

"Fill me with your seed." Do people really say that? I mean it's kinda corny.

there is no story.

you tell us in the beginning that your protagonist achieves his goals... and you take the easy way out, by having the sister be fully in agreement. stories come from conflict and discovery.

there is nothing to see here.

More please

Great

What happens next?