Show Don't Tell

Yummi.... thanks

What Marston would have written.

William Moulton Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman, based the character on a pastiche of his wife and their submissive live-in lover. He was a proponent of total honesty (he invented the polygraph machine). He also believed that women would make better leaders, that submitting to a powerful woman made a man a better person, and that pleasure was a force for social good. He was also heavily into bondage, as a reading of early Wonder Woman comics will quickly reveal.

I have a feeling Venus Ascendant is exactly the sort of character he would have written Wonder Woman as, if he could have gotten her published in that form. Bravo, and well written!

I'm afraid I don't know how to change my star rating for a story. I clumsily, accidently hit "two stars." This is story deserves a full five and I have no idea how to change my rating.

Critique

Overall, this isn't a bad story. It was actually pretty hot, if short. That said, it certainly could've done without the Wonder Woman avatar saying love should be given and accepted freely at the same time she took away the Super Girl avatar's free will and forced her into having sex, though. Not only is that terribly flawed logic and characterization, but it makes this more fitting in the BDSM or NonCon/Reluctance categories than what you submitted it under.

If you hadn't written anything at all about the free love aspect, or had made the story a bit longer to flesh the logic out more, this could've been 4-5 stars, but as it stands, I can't justify more than 2.