Outlander Ch. 01

A good beginning

I find myself looking forward to the continuation of the story. I always love when someone finds their way to a different world/

Have my interest!

So glad to see you back writing again!

Loved the start of this story. You captured Jack's anguish at his wife's betrayal wonderfully. I really felt for him.

Now to learn what he has fallen into! I sense something truly epic about to enfold and I'm looking forward to the ride.

I love your writing. Have enjoyed all your work to date. It's a treat to have something new to read :-)

Awesome!!

Gripping, mind blowing I love it please continue and soon

great start

most interesting start can not wait to see how it progresses

nice

very nice start to what i can only hope becomes a great story series

DAMN!

I felt so BAD for Jack. THAT BITCH!!!
I have a feeling Jack is about to have a whole new purpose and ol' 'Ironhead' will be sorely needed.

very interesting

This story was had a very gripping opening and i hope to see more.

wow, I'm hooked

looking forward to reading more

Oh, how I hate the wife! Talk about having the rug jerked out from under you. I really felt for him. Everything that he cared about gone in a moment. You brought his despair and physical and mental anguish out in a big way. Poor bastard. Maybe he can have one of his new buddies stop by and cut their heads off? That'll teach em! :) I wonder how he will take this new life once he is a little more sober? At least once they have him on the ship it will be a lot harder for him to change his mind. Looking forward to finding more out about what he has gotten himself into. Good job with this, you have me curious about what exactly is going on.

bravo!

Great start! you certainly have a way with words, i felt as if i was right there, sharing in jack's pain over his wife's cheating(i hope you come back to her at some point in the story so we can see how she fares... and when i say fare i mean i hope she's lost her job, house, car, everything and now has to sell her body on the streets to survive). harsh i know, but jack is the main reason she's where she is now... anyway onward to the highseas :) and hopefully plenty of battles. i look forward to traveling alongside him as his destiny unfolds.

excellent

Great start to the story.

Awesome!!

This is such a great start and has me infinitely curious as to where it will go. I can't wait so in the mean time I'm going to be yelling MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE at you!!!!

Yep!!

This is a good one!!!!!

*****

I usually don't read Sci-Fi & Fantasy on Literotica, but for some reason the title of this story caught my eye, and I'm glad it did. It's an absolutely superb start to the tale, and I very much look forward to its continuation.

This is a great start! I am looking forward to seeing this story develop.

Great Start

I have to chime in and say it was a great start. Looking forward to reading more.

Definitely worth a read

An interesting opening. I like how you set up Jack and though I don't know exactly what to make of Garek, his intentions seem good at the least. It would probably have been better if you had not revealed the basic plot right at the start. Would have added more suspense concerning Gareks actions.

Intriguing

Excellent start. If you put half the effort you put into Young Wolves into this new series, it'll be awesome. Can't wait to see where this goes!

nice start

i clicked on this as i read your young wolves series ...this is a great start and i cant wait to read more.... i wanna see how he develops into what they want... i would like to see a meeting up with barbra too maybe after everything happens he is sent back and is more inmproved better shape that whole thing... great start and ill be checking bach every day for another chapter

NICE BEGINNING!

That's a very nice start. You get the sex in, but in a believable fashion and you give us a character that we're really invested in. Looking forward to more!

Your "Transition" was very believably done, at different levels...

Very few science fiction/fantasy stories transition from "now" to "the other place" as well as you did.

The background --- from the aimless wandering, drunk, in his own city's streets after catching his once beloved wife fucking..... to seeing things he shouldn't see, and STILL WITH A BOTTLE in his hand!!!.... to pinching himself to see if he's "really here" (in THIS PLACE AND TIME) or "out there, slumped over" in some alley, snoring, drooling, dreaming all "this" (in his OTHER life's reality) --- you described is a good trick that good science fiction, the hard core, experienced kind, used all the time. But very few writers in free venues like this could do it and do it as well as you did here...

As I commented on the story of one of your first commenters here, "ShyChiWriter," who wrote a short but incredibly endearing science fiction story, HALLEY (I assumed he somehow had Halley's Comet in mind?)... about liking that story more than 99% of all the stories I've read here over the year.... YOUR STORY, your OPENING, here seems to be of that kind of great story telling, too.

I hope you continue this story, as I like it a lot. As I said to your colleague writer, ShyChiWriter, I am currently reading two traditional, hard core science fiction novels; but I also like to read some of the shorter, good stories posted here, too.

I'm really glad I checked this out. You're several chapters into it so I look forward to catching up. I agree with others that you really created a great character that made us empathize with him and pity him. Your transition from the real world to this world which we don't know much about yet was more believable than I expected it to be. I look forward to learning more about where this portal led to and where they are off to. It seems that the parts of him that kept him so focussed in life and probably doomed him to the failure that came partly will probably be strengths in his starting this new life and being what these people are looking for. On to chapter 2

A good start

Im getting flashbacks to thomas covenant here. A troubled, lonely man dealing with a physical obstacle is transported to a world in which the triumph of good is ultimately dependant on him. I hope that, unlike in thomas covenant, i like the characters personality and its slightly faster paced.

Just re-read this again...

I cannot believe that I haven't commented on this opening chapter of this series.

Reading your latest instalment today where Jack lost it during training had me come back to get a finer sense of his betrayal which for him was something that happened only 8 days ago.

It's probably one of the most powerful and gut wrenching starts I've ever read. "You betrayed me for something that meant nothing to you?" ... the intensity you created here has had me come back and visit this story time and again.

Thank you author, I will be coming back for more!

I like your stories, but

if its going to take you 2 years to get to the sex, this should be in the "Non-erotic" category, and it shouldn't have the "H" for Hot next to every entry. I think some Literotica employee is helping you get readers by pretty much lying about the content of the stories

Obviously you're very talented and I enjoy each chapter but there's nothing erotic at all about this set of stories

author responce

jason1138,

Thanks for taking the time to read my story and for the comment. I knew there would be some detractors when I chose to make this story more character driven, letting the sex come when the story demanded it rather than manipulating the tale to include sex. There were sexual elements in the first three chapters and will be sex in future chapters making it's inclusion in the non erotic catagory imprudent. This is not a "wank" story and I believe that anticipation will only make the sex more powerfull when it occurs.

The red H is indicative of how the readers have voted rather than a testimony to the amount of sex in the piece. If you feel the work is undeserving then I suggest casting your vote in an effort to push the rating below 4.50, eliminating the red H.

As to your contention that a Literotica employee is lying on my behalf to get readers; this is not the case, but if it were, I wouldn't have to wait with baited breath to see how the readers will rate each chapter. If the fix was in it would certainly be easier on my nerves.

If lots of sex is what you desire, see my story "Young Wolves". There is plenty there. Thanks again.

Dear author you are right. The erotic scenes must be in the suitable chapters. An excellent story has good plot, excellent character developing and the erotic scene is not only thing in it why we readers read it. Yes a excellent good story for me when the Author can blend the romantic, adventure, fantasy, erotic scens well! We are in the Sci-Fi & Fantasy section and this story belongs to this section well. For me the true 1-1 love can be erotic: I suggest to read 800Ibgorilla "A Beautifull Wish" 1st chapter in this section. It is 1-1 erotic scen with very romantic plot.
I think this author will show us similar romantic erotic scen as well!

Slow start

Almost stopped reading and so glad I didn't, the story get's so good so fast. Great work.

"You betrayed me for something that meant nothing to you..."

That line alone had me tearing up. You truly captured a heart breaking in this chapter. What a start! I can't wait to see what else you have in store for Jack.

meh...

I don't really expect it, but I hope we get a glimpse of the wife again in some form of suffering.

I also . . .

. . . have stumbled into a time warp. The door slammed behind me and I am hooked by this well written and intriguing story. There is no going going back. A couple of mouse clicks and the journey will continue but I know not where it will lead. Thanks!!

Nice Start

You caught me. For a minute there I thought that I was in the middle of a Loving Wife story but I have a feeling that we will always wonder if losing her husband is enough comeuppance.
The switch to a different time and place will possibly bring interesting effects and maybe he will get over his pain.

An unfinished story

this is a well written and edited story
Probably one of the better ones on this site, however
In all likelyhood it will never be completed
As it stands, it is quite possibly less than half of a story
Its a shame that there is no system in place to keep readers from
wasting time on half written stories