All Comments on 'Time Stop'

More adventures at Livingston College....this one, all of them are

superior, the very best on this Literotica Board.....Thanks so very much for writing this one, Time Stop, I always check to see if you've written something new.

nice story,but it seemed to me that you rushed the end.Ok lots of people would like to have that watch,but for her,a model?The more time she spends while time is stopped,the more she ages...and modeling is about youth and good looks,so a ''short'' normal time career for her.and him,to tell her about his watch,complete moron imho!

I just don't get him telling her about the watch. It's obvious that she would steal it, I just can't imagine anyone being so naive to think they could trust someone they barely know with a secret like that.

I liked the story overall though

A good story -- but not one of your best. Please again -- 'first time' with some anal. Romance, maybe a bit of spanking?

I love stories along this theme and I really did enjoy reading this one. Very descriptive and had a rather unique twist to it at the end. Nicely done.

nice work, keep posting new stories!!

I thought the ending was great! It was a complete surprise to me, which was fun; not the usual obvious ending that appears in many of these stories. Plus, it paralleled very well The Twilight Zone style; these stories invariably had the surprise, tragic ending (which is why I put "loved" within quotation marks; it was sad). And, when I thought about it, I did recall the hints and suggestions that Henry would seek out a partner. Plus, he didn't hand her the watch, he just held it up for her to look at; hardly absurd right after having his first sex with a girl.

I'm not sure how closely this story followed the influential TV shows/movies mentioned in the author's note, but the storyline of this piece and the thinking/logic of Henry were extremely well done and believable. It was what I imagined a person would think and do in this fantastical situation.

I, as I would assume many other readers, hoped that he wouldn't think with his “little head” regarding Cynthia. As I read the story I kept pulling for him not to be the normal doofus and succumb to his fantasy of being with tall beauty Cynthia, start thinking more with his brain, and... possibly he'd end up sharing the secret with Mary Sue (the girl he was sweet on, who he helped with the test). I liked her a lot because she RE-changed Henry's corrections on her test – that was a nice little touch in her cameo role in the story.

I was drawn into this piece, and at the end when Henry pulls out the watch to share the secret with Cynthia, I thought, “NO! NO! Don't do it, you fool!” Even though I wanted a happy ending, the moral to the story would have been lost if it had been a happy conclusion.

A terrific, entertaining story.

Absolutely fantastic story. Thanks!

We are about the same age and it shows in the way you present your stories. Like was stated already, this story did mirror the old "Twilight Zone" episodes with their moralistic bent and I actually saw the ending coming as the meetings with Cynthia progressed (by the bye, am I the only one who noticed the reference with the vocalist who sang "Time After Time" so wonderfully?).

You have a knack for your characterizations but I do not necessarily appreciate the multiple viewpoints that are presented at times--the story belongs to the main character and what is happening around him or her, to bring in the thoughts and feelings of the others out of nowhere just seems to make the hero (or heroine) omniscient. The rest just distracts and seems needlessly incidental. But that is a small, nitpicky thing to bring up.

Overall I quite like your stories (I've been reading them since the very first "Lessons" appeared). You have a gift for situations and characterization and it makes what happens, while utterly unbelievable, seem almost plausible. And that is what makes an author special.

Keep up the good work and I will keep on reading.

What a dumbass...

Gah, no! Amazing story but a disappointing ending, so sad to see her take it. I was actually kind of hoping for a full-circle ending where at the end Henry is an old man and he passes on the watch again.

I agree, what a dumbass, people are greedy and it sort of makes sense, a nice story.

"the hellbound train", a sci-fi story i read a good number of years ago...or maybe it was yesterday.

Please make a sequel. I don't know how it can be done, but if anybody can do it, its you. Maybe Cynthia has a change of heart and returns the watch back.

The ending sucks, makes me want to kill the Bitch for stealing.

It may or may not be common for a man to give enthusiastic compliments for a story that meets their fantasy, but despite that, this was a brilliantly written story. When I googled 'literotica time' I expected to find the minimum of what it takes to be a fantasy, not a writer's brain-child. I found the ending to be realistic, and sad because of it's realism. A realistic ending satisfies (at least me).

You have roused my interests as well as my loins and I hope never to forget your story Charles Petersunn.

It served the little dork right. He shouldn't have been so gullible.

this needs a follow-up story. i want to see him get pissed and trying to confront her or at the very least still being the idiot he is and warning her about using it and aging. i mean if she uses it pretty regularly she won't be a model for long.

What was the deal with the invisible guy?

The story is awesome with a nice twist in the end. It will be great to have a sequel. Just some ideas that I thought of... Cynthia stops time using the watch to make guys horny by rubbing their cocks and this gets her what she needs and aids her become successful in her career. Henry is pissed off and wants the watch back. So he is obsessed with watches, visiting watch stores and one day finds a watch which looks a lot like his time-stop watch and buys it. He then hatches a plan to stalk Cynthia. He goes to the city where Cynthia now lives and observe her secretly. He now knows that Cynthia goes to a bar with male models, gets drunk, gets them horny and leaves them longing for her. It gives her a feeling of power and control over men. Henry notices how she has the watch in her purse and uses it under the bar counter top. Then one Friday he walks to the bar and stands behind her. She is busy talking to a male model and pulls out the watch from her purse and hold it under the counter top. He chooses this opportunity. He orders a drink for the lovely lady Cynthia and asks the bartender to pass it to her and ask her to look to the far end of the bar table. The moment the bartender gives her the drink and asks her to look, both the model and Cynthia look to the far end of the table and Henry just ducks and clicks the watch. Time is stopped. And he takes his dummy watch and replaces it with the real time-stop watch and sneaks to a nice vantage point and restarts time and sees that she looks over but does not find the guy who bought her drink. Now Cynthia tries to stop time and it seems to her that it does not work. But now it is all pay back time. Its revenge time. And now there are infinite ways how Henry could exact his revenge without her even knowing. Hope to see a great sequel with lot of revenge on Cynthia.

Very well written story, with twisting end!! Thank you!

omg

guy must me an idot ;D

Five Stars!

The ending gave the spoiled brat the happy ending. Lame.

Was thinking maybe he would just say it was magic and be an amusing ending or something less lame. Ah well.

I'd very much like to hear how Henry catches up to Cynthia and retrieves his watch.

I thought that this was an amazing story from beginning to end. You clearly put a lot of time and effort into it and it shows. Thank you for your work.

Stupid ending.

That’s what Henry gets for being such a fuckin pussy and a virgin

Amusing tale, thank you.

Story was great but the ending was a bummer. Plus I think he should have fucked all those girls and cum all over them. No one has that much self control.