Great writing, great tension building, hot sex.
Got my 5 stars and the will to read more of your work.
You could have worked more on the main character, the story teller was kind of flat. The girl was great though.
Nice going.
by
Anonymous12/05/10
good story.....
but proof reading would make it great. Spelling errors and general mistakes let the story down. Other than that I thought it was a great story. keep writing.
by
Anonymous01/14/16
Gently done
Oh, the anxieties of a proto romance.
And a well-told one, too.
HP
by
Anonymous01/10/17
Nice story 5*'s anyway BUT
it's hardly a romance, it's just another fucking story in the end. they are fucking and haven't even had a first date...she is a slut...
English
mmmmmmmm.....YES!
Very hot! I loved how he forced her legs open and how he was relentless with his thrusting while she was comming. I can't wait to hear more!
Wow - wish I could write the sex scene so good.
Great writing, great tension building, hot sex.
Got my 5 stars and the will to read more of your work.
You could have worked more on the main character, the story teller was kind of flat. The girl was great though.
Nice going.
good story.....
but proof reading would make it great. Spelling errors and general mistakes let the story down. Other than that I thought it was a great story. keep writing.
Gently done
Oh, the anxieties of a proto romance.
And a well-told one, too.
HP
Nice story 5*'s anyway BUT
it's hardly a romance, it's just another fucking story in the end. they are fucking and haven't even had a first date...she is a slut...
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