Good. It's about time that mothers realised their place in life
I hope you fuck her up the arse hard and proper as it should be. Don't give her a chance to enjoy it, rape her and make it hurt.
by
Anonymous12/12/10
Good story
I hope that this son enslaved completely his mother. Please more !
by
Anonymous12/12/10
Very different
Interesting idea but good god man, have you never heard of a period? Trust me, they help break up a 17 line paragraph with 34 commas and only 1 question mark. This in turn will make for a much easier read.
I hope that the author will have the son show his mother just how sweet it will be with him as her man, and how he will fulfill all of her needs.
Thanks for the good story
by
Anonymous12/12/10
Interesting if hard to follow
I realize it might be your style, but perhaps putting "quotation marks" around spoken words might let the reader follow who is saying what and when. As it was, I had a difficult time figuring out if a line broken by commas was spoken or just Jimmy's narrative thoughts.
by
Anonymous12/13/10
English as a second language?
The grammar, diction, and continuity of the story was not, umm, first rate. Sometimes that is on purpose, to make it sound like the less than erudite narrator. In this case, I think, this was the best that the author could do. The story was derivative, i.e. not that original either...
Not bad for a first effort. You sure this isn't a rape story with an incestuous twist?
I love a good sex story and am a certified sucker for mother-son stories.
The story was readable, obviously British English, but the couple and coupling you depict has some major issues, to wit:
Mum is either going through a depressive episode and/or a masochistic submissive with boundary issues you could drive an articulated lorry through broadside. The way you write her is that she's a breathing fuck doll for sonny to get off with, not a woman choosing to play of her own accord. Mum needs psychiatric help, not sonny to "take charge".
The son, wow. I love a good wank. Tall, hunky, popular, nice guy for a young lad, who's fed up with mum not performing up to standard, so he rapes her. WTFH? Sure, IRL, people with other options do stupid shit all the time, sometimes just because they feel they can without consequences.
He's a sick, arrogant puppy cruising for a bruising.
If he tried this with any of his dates, his balls would be kicked up past his ears and up on charges. Since he's "popular", he might get away with a date rape or so, but word gets around and the play he gets will dry up in a hurry, unless he's everyone's bookie/drug connect/loanshark.
I know it's an incest story, where busting the normal boundaries is par for the course, but this goes in a very grim direction. It doesn't always have to be a Harlequin romance, but hey, a little love and mutual consideration are what make life livable. This story depicts a slide into very dark territory.
by
Anonymous12/14/10
Apologies
This was my first attempt, I can spell with the best, but the grammatical errors are obvious, I will try harder next time, but I will continue this story and develope it okay ?
...other than it was not for me. Firstly 'IM' is not a word, and the spoken word should always be written inside, 66 and 99. " " but what I read was pretty poor. Sorry.
English
Good. It's about time that mothers realised their place in life
I hope you fuck her up the arse hard and proper as it should be. Don't give her a chance to enjoy it, rape her and make it hurt.
Good story
I hope that this son enslaved completely his mother. Please more !
Very different
Interesting idea but good god man, have you never heard of a period? Trust me, they help break up a 17 line paragraph with 34 commas and only 1 question mark. This in turn will make for a much easier read.
It's good that he is taking control of her
Now tell us the rest of the story.
Will she become his submissive, or his wife?
I hope that the author will have the son show his mother just how sweet it will be with him as her man, and how he will fulfill all of her needs.
Thanks for the good story
Interesting if hard to follow
I realize it might be your style, but perhaps putting "quotation marks" around spoken words might let the reader follow who is saying what and when. As it was, I had a difficult time figuring out if a line broken by commas was spoken or just Jimmy's narrative thoughts.
English as a second language?
The grammar, diction, and continuity of the story was not, umm, first rate. Sometimes that is on purpose, to make it sound like the less than erudite narrator. In this case, I think, this was the best that the author could do. The story was derivative, i.e. not that original either...
Not bad for a first effort. You sure this isn't a rape story with an incestuous twist?
I love a good sex story and am a certified sucker for mother-son stories.
The story was readable, obviously British English, but the couple and coupling you depict has some major issues, to wit:
Mum is either going through a depressive episode and/or a masochistic submissive with boundary issues you could drive an articulated lorry through broadside. The way you write her is that she's a breathing fuck doll for sonny to get off with, not a woman choosing to play of her own accord. Mum needs psychiatric help, not sonny to "take charge".
The son, wow. I love a good wank. Tall, hunky, popular, nice guy for a young lad, who's fed up with mum not performing up to standard, so he rapes her. WTFH? Sure, IRL, people with other options do stupid shit all the time, sometimes just because they feel they can without consequences.
He's a sick, arrogant puppy cruising for a bruising.
If he tried this with any of his dates, his balls would be kicked up past his ears and up on charges. Since he's "popular", he might get away with a date rape or so, but word gets around and the play he gets will dry up in a hurry, unless he's everyone's bookie/drug connect/loanshark.
I know it's an incest story, where busting the normal boundaries is par for the course, but this goes in a very grim direction. It doesn't always have to be a Harlequin romance, but hey, a little love and mutual consideration are what make life livable. This story depicts a slide into very dark territory.
Apologies
This was my first attempt, I can spell with the best, but the grammatical errors are obvious, I will try harder next time, but I will continue this story and develope it okay ?
nice
great story.
Rape
Is exactly what this is. Why is it that all teenagers have 8" cocks? How about some realism here!
good story
good story I liked it!
A great mix of lust, love and spanking.
Well deserved 5 start. Onto chapter 2!
I'm in two minds with this one
I'll hold my vote on this one until the next chapter to see which way you go with it
Oh dear, what can I say?
...other than it was not for me. Firstly 'IM' is not a word, and the spoken word should always be written inside, 66 and 99. " " but what I read was pretty poor. Sorry.
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