by rpsuch
But something really needs to start happening. Jeff and Ashley have a nice verbal sparring, but there really needs to be some action to keep things interesting. And I don't even necessarily mean sex!
Come ON!! Move this along and get some conflict going.
Also, these one page chapters don't offer much in the way of reading pleasure. How about waiting till you have five or six pages before posting.
Of course, I would prefer that you publish a whole novel of "Revenge of the Nerd", and I could read it in one sitting. But, while one part of me may be impatient, the wiser part appreciates you doling the story out chapter by chapter...
I am really loving where this is going. I think you explored the whole Jeff and Ashley conflicts well enough, so it makes sense to move the conflict area to her family.
Also, I think you are wise to not dwell too much on sex episodes over and over. I have seen other authors that do this, and it takes away from the story. Quality over quantity!
Great job!
Ok, it's been 40 chapters and it's getting to be long and boring. I'm almost to the point of not even reading another chapter. If you could bring it to an end or some closing point and get on to another story line.
The dialogue is absolutely brilhiant and the analysis of possible positions for conflicts with her father should bring about an executable plan.... Of course no plans survive the first contact, or do they..
I have enjoyed this series - life - Thank you and glad you have kept the flow!
interesting. Dad=Ego(image), Money/power, then business. Family is behind the top 3 except as it enhances the first 3.