by altavie
yet strangely classy in its innocent curiosity. an adventure worth following.
Your manage to pull this reader into your stories with the outrageous behavior of the characters. But if they behaved the way one would expect the story would not be nearly as fun. Walking through your rich imagination is quite a tour. Thanks again
I'm off to read the other one now. Please send more. You ever do anything like this for real?
The key to enjoying these stories is to believe that this is truly happening to a real girl or at least the fantasy of a real girl. Guys will write these stories, yet sound like a guy writing and emphasize elements that guys would fantasize. This story sounds like it is written by a young girl. It's the subtle things in the language and choice of words. Reading, I can feel how the girl in the story is turned on by the dominance of the date. It's believable that a girl would fantasize about the brusque dominance of the date. And that is what is really a turn-on to be let into the erotic fantasy of real girl.
It's moments like "I closed my eyes, feeling incredibly aroused" that make the writer seem female. Guys generally wouldn't take a moment to close their eyes and feel inside of themselves. They wouldn't even think about it when writing a story.
The language is clean like refreshing spring water. There aren't unnecessary words. The author seems very clear on what she wants to convey.
The moments of hesitation in the story are done well and make it believable. The girl realizes like a real person that this is not a normal date and has consequences. Yet, as a reader, her emotional resonance that pulls her to do it is also very palpable.
The impulse to protest or the worry about using words to speak to the other woman on one hand show that she is a real person and at the same time, also paint each time how submissive she is because the motivation to submit wins each time in her inner deliberation. That was beautifully painted out.