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Patiently Waiting

bybulltlr©
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by Anonymous

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by raconteuse01/05/11

Yes!

A much better attempt than Quietly Waiting. I'd have arranged the final stanza differently, with 'no' on the second line, then 'needing you' on the third line, 'to wonder at' (fourth line), 'my intentions' (final line). Just an idea. I love your poetry. Glad you have an editor now, and hoping to see even greater pieces from you. Thank you.

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by 01/17/11

Has potential..

Excellent suggestion by raconteuse. The poem has some merit, but there are some awkward, seemingly arbitrary line breaks and lack of line breaks where either punctuation or a line break needs to be. Since you are new and I have been absent, I thought I would check out some of your work. Critiques on the discussion board may be very helpful. Welcome to Lit and keep posting!

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