Great flash story, definitely got me hooked! And I agree, would love to see a follow up to this! Stupid bitch of a wife does not even talk to him or ask the slightest question about the night in question until she has decided with her bitch of a friend to take ridiculous action against her husband and has done irreperable damage to the marriage. Speaks further to her friend's character, too, that she does not like such an upstanding guy- besides the front door being a revolving door for any guy who wants some action. But yeah, that is the perfect time to have a conversation with him about it. I hate her as a character, and her friend, but love the writing in this story. Nicely done.
Always well written, but pretty much always too friggen sad for words...never a happy ending that I can find, or very seldom. I still read you stories because they are well done, but frankly pretty depressing.
I gave three stars. Would be lower except writing was pretty good. Would be higher except story was not finished. Since "incomplete" is not a choice to grade this, I deducted points instead. We don't even know wife or husband's names ...
That's not JPB's style. Besides, there's no excuse or reason the wife could give to make it OK. So the hubby either is a wimp and forgives her or tosses her out. Pretty simple. Maybe the "best friend" could get hit by a bus or get AIDS.
This is a classic formula piece. Wife flies off the handle about supposed cheating with almost NO evidence. Then "helpful" best friend who hates husband anyway suggests revenge and turns the wife into a whore. Wife goes along like the moron she apparently is. She, of course, never takes the time or effort to talk with the husband to see if there is a reasonable explanation because all men are pigs and she trusts her friend more than her husband.
Oops, it turns out the husband is a somewhat forgetful saint. So that makes her a insane vengeful whore. Unfortunately this feels a lot like some real life situations. I wish we would see stories with smarter women.
I have been abstaining from reading JPB's stories and I really do not know what induced me to read this one. Once again though, JPB revealed his contempt for the reader, as well as his inability to write an appropriate ending, by stopping abruptly in the middle of a story.
He obviously prefers quantity over quality.
The story, while admittedly up to JPB's standards for poor punctuation and sloppy editing, was complete.
Why does it need to be dragged out any further? We know there will be a next act, but it isn't necessary for the reader to have it spelled out. Might be nice, but sometimes a minimalist less-is-more effort is very effective.
I liked it. If JPB wants to add a second act, great. If not, I got what he wanted to say.
This is one of those stories that is a quick read, has the right amount of irony, and does not have any pretense. This is a solid short story that is very well crafted and cleverly thought out.
I thought this was one of your best 'tongue in cheek' works yet; and I always get pissed whenever you slip into the 'wimpy cuckold' mode. It seems that you can work both sides of the cheating game well.
Some I really like; some I really hate, but like so many others, I sneak a peek before I enter the story-doors. I liked this one, and the twist at the end.
The story just seemed unfinished. You probably would have been better off writing another chapter or at the least extending this one. There is just so much more that needs to be said and questions that need answers..
The story just like this doesn't deserve more than 2 *....Ending she crying over spilled milk...Will she go to the gang-bang? will she confess? Will she be capable to look herself in the mirror? Will she do a good deed and kill herself and free her husband?
English
you are the king of twists
PLEASE JPB. How about a second chapter
Please
I agree, a second chapter or continuation of the story. Well done sir.
Hooked
Great flash story, definitely got me hooked! And I agree, would love to see a follow up to this! Stupid bitch of a wife does not even talk to him or ask the slightest question about the night in question until she has decided with her bitch of a friend to take ridiculous action against her husband and has done irreperable damage to the marriage. Speaks further to her friend's character, too, that she does not like such an upstanding guy- besides the front door being a revolving door for any guy who wants some action. But yeah, that is the perfect time to have a conversation with him about it. I hate her as a character, and her friend, but love the writing in this story. Nicely done.
Not one of your best.
It wasn't bad, and I liked that it was short.
continuation
Is there going to be a continuation to this story. I think it needs one whether she continues her ways or maybe the husband finds out.
Pretty Typical of JPB
Always well written, but pretty much always too friggen sad for words...never a happy ending that I can find, or very seldom. I still read you stories because they are well done, but frankly pretty depressing.
Nicely Constructed
and painful!
Sizzle
Ahhhhh... the sound of frying back bacon on the skillet ... That would be a metaphor for all the dumbass anonymous critics.
Please...
Finish this story!
Treso starro ...
I gave three stars. Would be lower except writing was pretty good. Would be higher except story was not finished. Since "incomplete" is not a choice to grade this, I deducted points instead. We don't even know wife or husband's names ...
Don't expect an ending
That's not JPB's style. Besides, there's no excuse or reason the wife could give to make it OK. So the hubby either is a wimp and forgives her or tosses her out. Pretty simple. Maybe the "best friend" could get hit by a bus or get AIDS.
This is a classic formula piece. Wife flies off the handle about supposed cheating with almost NO evidence. Then "helpful" best friend who hates husband anyway suggests revenge and turns the wife into a whore. Wife goes along like the moron she apparently is. She, of course, never takes the time or effort to talk with the husband to see if there is a reasonable explanation because all men are pigs and she trusts her friend more than her husband.
Oops, it turns out the husband is a somewhat forgetful saint. So that makes her a insane vengeful whore. Unfortunately this feels a lot like some real life situations. I wish we would see stories with smarter women.
As expected!
I have been abstaining from reading JPB's stories and I really do not know what induced me to read this one. Once again though, JPB revealed his contempt for the reader, as well as his inability to write an appropriate ending, by stopping abruptly in the middle of a story.
He obviously prefers quantity over quality.
Cudos
Bob, I like your style. While others just go for the sex, you actually put a story and it has a point.
Thanks for the ride.
I don't get it
The story, while admittedly up to JPB's standards for poor punctuation and sloppy editing, was complete.
Why does it need to be dragged out any further? We know there will be a next act, but it isn't necessary for the reader to have it spelled out. Might be nice, but sometimes a minimalist less-is-more effort is very effective.
I liked it. If JPB wants to add a second act, great. If not, I got what he wanted to say.
Good fun quick read.
This is one of those stories that is a quick read, has the right amount of irony, and does not have any pretense. This is a solid short story that is very well crafted and cleverly thought out.
Just Don't Get It.
I thought this was one of your best 'tongue in cheek' works yet; and I always get pissed whenever you slip into the 'wimpy cuckold' mode. It seems that you can work both sides of the cheating game well.
Some I really like; some I really hate, but like so many others, I sneak a peek before I enter the story-doors. I liked this one, and the twist at the end.
Good work.
H -
unfinished
The story just seemed unfinished. You probably would have been better off writing another chapter or at the least extending this one. There is just so much more that needs to be said and questions that need answers..
For now just 2 *....
The story just like this doesn't deserve more than 2 *....Ending she crying over spilled milk...Will she go to the gang-bang? will she confess? Will she be capable to look herself in the mirror? Will she do a good deed and kill herself and free her husband?
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